She is very angry.
She is very rude to my husband.
She puts me down.
She is angry and rude to other people in public.
She uses my home as a bed and breakfast three times a year.
How do any of those things make you want to have her in your life right now? You have worked hard and deserve to enjoy your husband, children and grandchildren without an "old" friend intruding in your present life.
I agree that very clear boundaries need to be set soon. You deserve better. ❤️
VelineMay 20, 2016
The writer mentions that the friend used to be easy going but isn't any more. Some of the problems could be age-related: physical pains, dementia, etc. I think involving a physician would be a good idea.
DonnaMay 20, 2016
I second the counselor! Dear Abbey used to say, no one can walk over you, unless you let them, or something along that regard. However, life is complicated and I understand your distress about upsetting your friend. But from reading your heartfelt letter and having been through similar situations in my own life, I think it's time you stood up for yourself. If she is upset, well, ok. Is it in your job description to make everyone happy all the time? Because you know that never works. At your age, consider YOU are important and maybe it is time to leave this "frenemy" behind. Respect yourself.
Janet S.May 20, 2016
I understand your feelings and agree with Geoff completely. But I also wonder if this friend may have a nutritional deficiency that is causing her to be so negative. It can happen. Maybe you could make a visit to her home, and do a little observing as to what she is eating, if there is a noxious chemical or other presence in her home, etc. If there is something obvious, perhaps you could call it to her attention and offer to help guide her to getting the help she may need. Just a thought.
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LLordMay 21, 2016
She is very angry. She is very rude to my husband. She puts me down. She is angry and rude to other people in public. She uses my home as a bed and breakfast three times a year. How do any of those things make you want to have her in your life right now? You have worked hard and deserve to enjoy your husband, children and grandchildren without an "old" friend intruding in your present life. I agree that very clear boundaries need to be set soon. You deserve better. ❤️
VelineMay 20, 2016
The writer mentions that the friend used to be easy going but isn't any more. Some of the problems could be age-related: physical pains, dementia, etc. I think involving a physician would be a good idea.
DonnaMay 20, 2016
I second the counselor! Dear Abbey used to say, no one can walk over you, unless you let them, or something along that regard. However, life is complicated and I understand your distress about upsetting your friend. But from reading your heartfelt letter and having been through similar situations in my own life, I think it's time you stood up for yourself. If she is upset, well, ok. Is it in your job description to make everyone happy all the time? Because you know that never works. At your age, consider YOU are important and maybe it is time to leave this "frenemy" behind. Respect yourself.
Janet S.May 20, 2016
I understand your feelings and agree with Geoff completely. But I also wonder if this friend may have a nutritional deficiency that is causing her to be so negative. It can happen. Maybe you could make a visit to her home, and do a little observing as to what she is eating, if there is a noxious chemical or other presence in her home, etc. If there is something obvious, perhaps you could call it to her attention and offer to help guide her to getting the help she may need. Just a thought.
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