Tell him you are about to have a nervous breakdown, and he will have to take care of them all himself.
(Maybe a note from your doctor to that effect)
Ask his MIL to come and help?
GrandpaJanuary 1, 2021
May I gently suggest getting a quorum leader or even the bishop involved in teaching this man his duties and responibilites.
KateDecember 31, 2020
Excellent advise. I would also strongly encourage this woman to follow Dr. Julie Hanks (drjuliehanks on instagram) who addresses this very topic often in her posts and teaches a class on Creating a Partnership Family, which would be very helpful.
Maryann TaylorDecember 31, 2020
Although I have compassion for this woman, I think she is in deep denial. "Good husbands" do not habitually verbally abuse their children, nor do they continuously "pout" and refuse to be supportive to their wives. I am disappointed in some of the advice given here because this wife has ALREADY tried discussing these issues with her husband and he isn't listening. She definitely needs outside support and should counsel with her Bishop, especially regarding the verbal abuse. I think this situation is also a wake-up call for all young women who are yet unmarried. Before you marry, discuss with your potential spouse how they feel about sharing COMPLETELY in caring for their children and make sure they really WANT children. Then invite them to babysit with you and observe their behavior. Men are not doing women a "favor" when they care for their children. They have an equal responsibility, which goes far beyond bringing home a paycheck.
Melissa MarkhamDecember 31, 2020
I feel silly adding to this already great advice. But, girl, I HEAR YOU!!! I wish we could meet at a park and let our toddlers play while we kvetch about entertaining small children during a worldwide pandemic--while everyone else binge watches tv shows and takes up new hobbies. (Ok, no one has had it that easy. But still...) Even with a supportive husband, I've been pushed to my limit so many times these past months! The big thing for my husband and me has been communication, honestly telling each other our needs and seeking to understand the others' needs. A wise friend gave me marriage advice once--don't be a martyr in your marriage! We're really trying to balance standing our ground when our needs are not being met, but also sacrificing so that the others' needs can be met. I can't help but wonder if your husband sees the difficulty of having small children during a pandemic and is fleeing--in his own way. Rather than wade into the muck, he rationalizes that it's your mud puddle and you need to deal with it. It helps to break it down into small, do-able steps. With my husband and I, what worked was to schedule specific times when he would have the kids. For us, it works for him to entertain the kids after work while I make dinner. He's also able to get most Friday afternoons free, so we alternate Friday afternoons. He may take our older son out for some "man time" while I may go get a pedicure or do some shopping on my own. It hasn't been perfect and there are still some fights, tears, and yelling at kids. But there's far more appreciation, love, family outings, games of hide and go seek with the kids, and peace!
I hope you and your husband are able to work through this because I know you'll be closer than before. I hope he's able to see the joy of fatherhood and not just the burden. Wishing you success...
ShareeDecember 31, 2020
I think this woman should show her husband this article. He may not even realize what he is doing.
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tfJanuary 2, 2021
Tell him you are about to have a nervous breakdown, and he will have to take care of them all himself. (Maybe a note from your doctor to that effect) Ask his MIL to come and help?
GrandpaJanuary 1, 2021
May I gently suggest getting a quorum leader or even the bishop involved in teaching this man his duties and responibilites.
KateDecember 31, 2020
Excellent advise. I would also strongly encourage this woman to follow Dr. Julie Hanks (drjuliehanks on instagram) who addresses this very topic often in her posts and teaches a class on Creating a Partnership Family, which would be very helpful.
Maryann TaylorDecember 31, 2020
Although I have compassion for this woman, I think she is in deep denial. "Good husbands" do not habitually verbally abuse their children, nor do they continuously "pout" and refuse to be supportive to their wives. I am disappointed in some of the advice given here because this wife has ALREADY tried discussing these issues with her husband and he isn't listening. She definitely needs outside support and should counsel with her Bishop, especially regarding the verbal abuse. I think this situation is also a wake-up call for all young women who are yet unmarried. Before you marry, discuss with your potential spouse how they feel about sharing COMPLETELY in caring for their children and make sure they really WANT children. Then invite them to babysit with you and observe their behavior. Men are not doing women a "favor" when they care for their children. They have an equal responsibility, which goes far beyond bringing home a paycheck.
Melissa MarkhamDecember 31, 2020
I feel silly adding to this already great advice. But, girl, I HEAR YOU!!! I wish we could meet at a park and let our toddlers play while we kvetch about entertaining small children during a worldwide pandemic--while everyone else binge watches tv shows and takes up new hobbies. (Ok, no one has had it that easy. But still...) Even with a supportive husband, I've been pushed to my limit so many times these past months! The big thing for my husband and me has been communication, honestly telling each other our needs and seeking to understand the others' needs. A wise friend gave me marriage advice once--don't be a martyr in your marriage! We're really trying to balance standing our ground when our needs are not being met, but also sacrificing so that the others' needs can be met. I can't help but wonder if your husband sees the difficulty of having small children during a pandemic and is fleeing--in his own way. Rather than wade into the muck, he rationalizes that it's your mud puddle and you need to deal with it. It helps to break it down into small, do-able steps. With my husband and I, what worked was to schedule specific times when he would have the kids. For us, it works for him to entertain the kids after work while I make dinner. He's also able to get most Friday afternoons free, so we alternate Friday afternoons. He may take our older son out for some "man time" while I may go get a pedicure or do some shopping on my own. It hasn't been perfect and there are still some fights, tears, and yelling at kids. But there's far more appreciation, love, family outings, games of hide and go seek with the kids, and peace! I hope you and your husband are able to work through this because I know you'll be closer than before. I hope he's able to see the joy of fatherhood and not just the burden. Wishing you success...
ShareeDecember 31, 2020
I think this woman should show her husband this article. He may not even realize what he is doing.
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