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Rhodes - Baked with Love - LEARN MORE

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February 25, 2024

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JenniferMarch 10, 2016

My heart is breaking for you daughter. I too had a daughter suffer at the age of eight from abuse by a family member. She seemed to be doing well on the surface for many years. At the age of 15 she slipped into clinical depression. She asked God to heal her, and when He didn't, she gave up on him. She seemed to switch overnight from faith to disbelief. Please find a therapy that works for your daughter. We waited too long. She took the not-uncommon path of drugs and promiscuity. We are thankful every day that she is still with us. She is just now exploring faith again in a different church. I'm thankful to see some spiritual healing--eleven years after she lost her faith in God. Elizabeth Smart is a wonderful example of hope and healing. Prayers and patience and constant love are critical. My husband and I agreed early on to not make the church a battle ground. We recognized that the only way she would one day again recognize God's love was if she felt it from her family. My prayers are with you.

Renaissance NerdMarch 7, 2016

I think the free will explanation has merit. If God never allowed anyone to do anything bad, He'd be a horrible tyrant. Virtue can't be forced, it must be chosen, and of necessity the opposite must also be an option. This goes for things like childhood leukemia and victims of supposed 'acts of God' too. In some cases it's pure ignorance; countless millions died from preventable diseases because they didn't know how to prevent them. Could they have learned? Of course. It just wasn't the priority. People who live in a storm or flood zone, or tornado alley, or on a fault line know that there's potential danger in living there...they make a gamble that it won't hit them. When it does, they blame God because how could they possibly accept responsibility for something that hurt or killed their children? And yet they are responsible, because they knowingly took that chance. Human beings do it constantly, gambling with their own and their children's lives, betting that it won't happen this generation. We don't take the time and effort, and won't spend the money, to ensure complete safety. I don't mean to say that all this is easily intelligible to a child, but it brings me no end of comfort. I have suffered at the hands of wicked people many times, and have asked the same kinds of questions. I have suffered from accidents brought on by our human disregard for cost/benefit and tendency to gamble. I am no different from anyone else. I drive a car, live surrounded by electrical wires, walk along roads, etc, all of which are potential causes of death. But it no longer occurs to me that God is required to keep me safe no matter how recklessly I drive, or that walking down a mountain road in the dark wearing dark clothes with traffic instead of against it makes me deserve an angel to protect me from the possible consequences of my own risky behavior. Free agency is the greatest blessing ever...and the cause of all of humanity's woes. It's easy to see why Satan wanted to do away with it, and why so many followed him. It's dangerous. But it's also utterly necessary. If God chose for us, we could never be virtuous or good, only flesh-robots subject to His tyrannical will. And not only do we have to suffer the consequences of our own stupid and wicked choices, and the stupid and wicked acts of others, but sometimes we must suffer simply to have the chance to learn and grow, and we can learn nothing without suffering at some point in the process. Suffering is to the spirit what pain is to the body: a sign that something needs fixing. This young lady is at a crossroads. She can turn away from God until she suffers so much that she comes back to Him in desperation, or turn toward Him and let Christ's grace heal the wound. It's painful to a parent to watch a child suffer, and the desire to reach out an help is nearly overwhelming. Yet the same rules apply: the child has to choose between virtue and vice, and the pain we feel is only an echo of what God feels when we do so many terrible things to each other, even when it's only through ignorance or incompetence rather than malice.

Linda McFateMarch 5, 2016

Brainspotting is another therapy that is relatively new and helped my sister recover from trauma after decades of other types of therapy failed to help.

ajMarch 5, 2016

First, I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. What came to my mind is offering her examples of others who've gone through difficulties and still maintained their faith (Elder Maxwell for one who dealt with cancer). I also suggest the EmotionCode (a technique/protocol started by an active member) and working with the crown chakra. Hope this helps - all the best. <3

Jean RogersMarch 4, 2016

I really appreciated this. Many years ago my 8-year-old daughter suffered abuse by a neighbor. The only thing I knew was talk therapy which was very painful for my child. I wish I knew about other therapies back then. Thank you for this very helpful answer.

ShareeMarch 4, 2016

Last week, Elizabeth Smart spoke at or stake women's conference.She was charming, funny, an inspirational. She said that after the abuse at the hands of her kidnapper, she felt she was ruined forever. At the same time, she new the Lord was with her and that whether she was rescued or killed, it would be okay. What courage she had! To suffer such a traumatic experience will always be devastating. But perhaps if this girl were to read something by or about Elizabeth Smart, it might help her.

Christopher TheissMarch 4, 2016

Why so fixated on trauma or child abuse? These kinds of questions can up in any family, good families as well as those with serious issues. I am surprised a "professional" would immediately assume some dreaded mistreatment is at play.

Jane MontgomeryMarch 4, 2016

I am a graduate student in an art therapy program. In addition to the trauma protocols you mentioned I would like to add art therapy, which is especially helpful to children as well as EFT/Tapping (EFT- Emotional Freedom Technique). This is a great article. I especially appreciated the quote by Elder Maxwell. Thank you!

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