Your Hardest Family Question: I just found out my boyfriend is still married
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ShaliApril 2, 2022
I appreciate the way this advice was given, caring and without judgment. I chose to step away from a situation exactly like this, not because I didn't love him but because I couldn't see myself spending the rest of my life with someone who thought it was ok to not share something so important. I hope whatever decision you make, it will turn out to be the best one for you.
Douglas E NadybalApril 2, 2022
As bad as the "boyfriend" lying is, he is also an adulterer. Assuming the relationship did not devolve into illicit acts, the only eternal consequence in this situation is the state of this mans soul should this behavior go un-repented, he will eventually suffer the judgment outlined in the bible. If this reality is not enough to prompt the victim into dealing with reality, going back to him would then become a willful transgression. He is an adulterer. She should know that the pain in going back into this would be far worse than the first because she could no longer claim ignorance.
KA MillerApril 1, 2022
His wife deserves to know how deeply her husband has disrespected her so she has all the information she needs to know regarding how to proceed in her life. No one deserves to have a lie of this magnitude withheld from them.
AnnApril 1, 2022
She has been put in a difficult position and surely has many conflicting emotions. The counsel to let the head prevail is wise. She should get as far away from him as possible and cut off all contact. I found myself in a similar situation many years ago when I was single, although not nearly as much time had elapsed. Nothing good can come of continuing in a relationship based on dishonesty. Following Gospel principles will always keep us safe.
MicheleApril 1, 2022
Thank you Geoff for your comments to this writer. Events softening my heart and leading up to my baptism years ago were similar. Although I knew he was separated, I equated separation with available. I didn't have the gospel standards yet. I found out he'd gone back to her while still having me in his life. It's been validating to read this; but mostly I want to echo your advice and pray this person is able to access it and follow the Spirit. It's a painful experience no matter what she chooses, but the Spirit will never lead us astray.
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