First dates are a necessary evil. There is no getting around them. Nobody gets to jump past the awkwardness and jitters and bypass straight to comfort and confidence. Or can they? Are there a few simple rules that would make all first dates fun and enjoyable, and less sweaty and nerve-wracking? Here are a few ideas to help LDS singles endure first dates.
DO:
Remember who you are! You are the person that your date picked out of all the other people in the world to spend a few hours with. Obviously, you are someone worth getting to know. Relax and let your light shine!
Just be yourself! Laugh when something is funny to you. Ask questions and answer questions. While “being yourself” can often feel like the most difficult part of dating, take a deep breath, and try to remember to make it the easiest part of dating.
Listen! Your date asked you out, or conversely, agreed to spend some time with you. He or she wants to impress you, and wants you to get to know him or her. So shut up and listen! Give him or her the chance to impress you.
Give your date a chance! Okay, so your potential date isn’t the man or woman of your dreams. But you never know when someone will surprise you and leave a positive impression.
Come with a backup plan! One trick to feeling more confident and relaxed on a date is to come prepared to fend for yourself. I’m not talking about pepper spray (although, that never hurts either). Bring enough money to cover your dinner. Drive yourself so you can leave if your date is miserable. Know the part of town you are in so you can make a suggestion for something else to do.
DON’T:
Take it too seriously! One date does not mean you should be picking out china patterns. It does not mean he or she wants anything more than just a few hours to get to know you. Don’t read too much into a date.
Be rude! If you are nervous, your date probably is as well. Allow him or her a little space to be nervous and make mistakes. Don’t call them out on it, and don’t be rude. How would you feel if the tables were turned?
Pretend to be someone you’re not. Stand up for what you believe in. Give honest answers, and not the “popular” answers. You will both appreciate it later.
Move too fast! Always leave them wanting more. Don’t throw all of your baggage at your date all at once. Don’t put your heart on display too soon. It is a first date. Give your date a few reasons to like you before giving reasons to take pause.
Erin Ann McBride is a writer, dreamer, and blogger. Equal parts Mary Poppins, Carrie Bradshaw, and Mother Theresa, she goes where the wind blows, writes about relationships and dating, and is devoted to serving others. You can learn more about her at the Story of a Nice Mormon Girl. She also writes about politics at the Swing State Voter.
