During a sacrament meeting a while back, one of my teenage children got up in the middle of the meeting to leave the chapel. “Where are you going?” I whispered.
“Home!” came the emphatic and not-so-quiet response. “Why?” I probed. “Are you sick?”
“No,” came the response. “I just want to go home. I’m bored!”
Well, that wasn’t good enough for me. Boredom is not justification for skipping meetings or leaving church early. If it were, I could have had far more time on my hands through the years. I tried as delicately yet firmly as I could, as a father, to get that message across to my daughter, recognizing that I had to do this well since all of the other children were watching closely to see how I would handle the situation.
“Just sit down, the meeting won’t last much longer,” I said, trying to “buy time” and avoid a scene in the chapel. “You can’t go home now. We will go home together as a family.” I thought that would let her know that I wasn’t about to let her go home on grounds of boredom. When she ignored what I said and continued trying to leave the meeting, I became a little more firm. “Sit down,” I said, taking her by the arm and guiding her back to her seat. “You are not going home now!” I thought that would solve the problem once and for all, but I was wrong. As she pulled away she said something that left me speechless~ stunned and saddened.
“I’m going home!” she insisted. “I don’t believe any of this stuff, anyway!”
When we got home that day there really wasn’t much said. I think everyone felt a little uncomfortable and at a loss what to say and do. In the days and weeks that followed, however, our daughter would make comments or ask questions that opened the door for discussion concerning her unbelief.
It soon became apparent that most of her doubts were the result of ideas and questions that some of her friends had put in her head. Some of these friends didn’t have an understanding of gospel principles, nor did they share in our values and standards of behavior. As a result their “philosophies” were often nothing more than rationalizations for unacceptable behavior. Whenever my daughter asked what she thought was a “hard question” about the Church or a gospel principle, I gave her an answer from the scriptures and from gospel teachings. “You have been taught this all of your life,” I would remind her. “You know the answers to these questions.”
The longer we talked, the more I realized that this matter was not about my expounding doctrine, exposing the fallacy of her notions, or knocking down her “straw man” theories and ideas. It was not about my giving her answers. It was all about her finding her own answers. I could provide information and guide her in the right direction, but only she could find the
answers. I couldn’t do it for her, nor should I try.
When the immediate “parental panic” of this experience subsided a little, I was able to think more clearly and see how my daughter’s doubts and questions were part of a spiritual metamorphosis that most of us go through in some way and at some time or another. I was reminded of experiences in my own life, as well as in the lives of others I knew and loved, who came to find the answers that now provide a sure foundation for life.
While we were living out of the country for a while, my children were enrolled in a private English-speaking school with students of many nationalities, races, and religious beliefs. Unbeknown to my wife and me, our teenage son’s belief system was being challenged by some of his classmates, and one class and teacher in particular. It may have been the first time in his young life that he had ever faced any serious questioning of his beliefs.
Some of the young people in the school were children of clergy or missionaries of other faiths. As a result they often challenged my son, as one of the handful of Mormons in the school, with many of the typical anti-Mormon questions and arguments. My other children more or less ignored these challenges, but my son was bothered by them and could not ignore or totally dismiss the questions. In the school library there was a rather impressive section of anti-Mormon books and pamphlets. The more my son was challenged, the more he read the anti-Mormon propaganda, which resulted in even more questions. The more he questioned, the more he desired to know the answers.
If I had known at the time what he was being exposed to I probably would have been stricken with “parental panic” and feared for his spiritual safety. Fortunately, however, I was somewhat in the dark and could only offer help rather than get in the way of his quest.
He was assigned in his religion class to make a presentation on Mormonism (since he was the only LDS student in the class). This became the vehicle to take him on his quest for answers to the questions and issues that hounded him. Without telling me that he had struggled with his own doubts and questions, he asked me to help with his presentation by referring him to good LDS sources that would be able to answer the traditional anti-Mormon attacks. From his preparation for the presentation he not only found answers to the challenging questions his non-believing friends would throw at him, but he also found answers to his own questions. From his questions came not only answers but also, more important, faith and testimony.
As I reflected on his experience and the growth that came to him as a result of this “crisis of faith” I was able relax a little concerning my daughter’s doubts. It didn’t mean she was on the “high road to apostasy” or that she was repudiating her parents’ teachings. It did mean, however, that she was at a crossroads in her life–reaching beyond the spiritual comforts of her home to find answers to her questions and to build on her own foundation.
With that in mind I assured her that there is nothing inherently wrong with having doubts or asking tough questions. Often it is part of the process of growth. There is, however, a difference between faithless cynicism and faithful questioning. The one is stagnant and yields no answers and spiritual growth, whereas the other is dynamic and leads one to find the right answers–leads one to the very Source of Truth Himself.
Faithful Questioning
When it comes to the gospel, all too often we equate questions or doubts with faithlessness at best, and something akin to apostasy at worst. Such should not be the case. We would expect an investigator to approach the gospel brim full of questions, doubts, and even a healthy dose of skepticism. We expect that and teach the questioner how to get beyond that point. But when it comes to a lifelong member of the Church, particularly if that person is our own child, we usually view such doubts and questions with alarm. We tend to think something is seriously wrong with the questioner.
In reality it is neither the questions nor the doubts that should be feared, but rather what one does with them. “Doubt, unless transmuted into inquiry, has no value or worth in the world,” Elder John A. Widtsoe wrote. “A lasting doubt implies an unwillingness on the part of the individual to seek the solution of his problem, or a fear to face the truth.” (Evidences and Reconciliations [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1987], p. 31.)
The Book of Mormon gives us a classic example of the difference between faithful inquiry and lasting doubt. We often think of Laman and Lemuel as doubters and murmurers–and rightfully so. But we hardly ever think of Nephi as having his own struggle with doubts and questions. In Nephi, we tend to look at the end product of his spiritual strength and firm testimony, but we often overlook the process by which those traits came.
Undoubtedly, with all of his dad’s visions and prophesying about the destruction of Jerusalem Nephi must have wondered what was going on. He must have asked why it was necessary to leave the comforts of his home, the familiarity of his land, language, and culture to live in a dangerous desert for an unknown period of time until the family arrived at some yet-unknown destination. Like any teenager facing the trauma of moving away from friends and family he might never again see, Nephi may have experienced emotions of sadness and confusion.
Out in the desert “I did cry unto the Lord,” Nephi tells us: “and behold he did visit me, and did soften my heart that I did believe all the words which had been spoken by my father; wherefore, I did not rebel against him like unto my brothers” (1 Nephi 2:16). How could his heart be softened if it hadn’t been somewhat hardened by questions and concerns?
The difference between Nephi and his brethren is clearly stated and demonstrated over and over again. Nephi had questions and doubts, but went to the Lord for answers. Laman and Lemuel would not. When they murmured against Lehi as “a visionary man” and complained that they could not understand the meaning of their father’s visions and prophecies, Nephi challenged them with a simple yet profound question: “Have ye inquired of the Lord?” (1 Nephi 15:8.) It was a straightforward question–no hidden agendas, no tricks or traps. It came from a pure heart who had found answers to his own questions by doing the very thing he asked of his brothers. Laman and Lemuel’s response to Nephi’s question perhaps explains better than other means the difference between faithful questioning and faithless cynicism. “We have not,” they answered, “for the Lord maketh no such thing known unto us” (1 Nephi 15:9). At which, Nephi could only ask: “How is it that ye will perish, because of the hardness of your hearts?” (1 Nephi 15:10.)
As can be seen in the different approaches to doubts and questions, the real issue is not the doubts but what is to be done about them. I need not become paralyzed with “parental panic” when a child shocks me with the statement, “I do not believe any of that stuff.” There need not be despair with the appearance of doubt. I only become alarmed when a daughter makes no effort to find out for herself the truthfulness of gospel principles. My job is not to answer all her questions but to ask, as Nephi did, “Have you inquired of the Lord?” and then teach how one comes to know the truth.
“Doubt is not wrong unless it becomes an end of life. It rises to high dignity when it becomes an active search for, and practice of truth,” Elder Widtsoe wrote. “Doubt which immediately leads to honest inquiry, and thereby removes itself, is wholesome. But that doubt which feeds and grows upon itself, and, with stubborn indolence, breeds more doubt, is evil.” He further counseled:
The strong man is not afraid to say, “I do not know”; the weak man simpers and answers, “I doubt.” Doubt, unless transmuted into inquiry, has no value or worth in the world …. To take pride in being a doubter, without earnestly seeking to remove the doubt, is to reveal shallowness of thought and purpose.
Perhaps you are questioning the correctness of a gospel principle. Call it doubt if you prefer. Proceed to take it out of the region of doubt by examination and practice. Soon it will be understood, or left with the many things not yet within the reach of man. But remember: failure to understand one principle does not vitiate other principles. When proved false, one doctrine may cast distrust upon other doctrines, but the others must be tested for their own correctness.
Doubt of the right kind–that is, honest questioning–leads to faith. Such doubt impels men to inquiry which always opens the door to truth. . . .
On the other hand, the stagnant doubter, one content with himself, unwilling to make the effort, to pay the price of discovery, inevitably reaches unbelief and miry darkness. His doubts grow like poisonous mushrooms in the dim shadows of his mental and spiritual chambers. At last, blind like the mole in his burrow, he usually substitutes ridicule for reason, and indolence for labor. The simplest truth is worth the sum of all such doubts. He joins the unhappy army of doubters who, weakened by their doubts, have at all periods of human history allowed others, men of faith, to move the world into increasing light. (Evidences and Reconciliations, pp. 32-33.)
Experimenting Upon the Word:
How to Obtain Knowledge of Spiritual Things
A scientist discovers truth through an objective scientific method of observation, theorizing, and experimentation. Coming to know the spiritual truths of the gospel and the mind and will of the Lord also requires experimentation. Yet just as revelation differs from reason, the scientific method and the spiritual method of inquiry also differ. While they share some things in common, there are fundamental differences that cannot be ignored. Each has its own set of rules for discovery of truth. And ignorance or direct violation of those rules will compromise the experiment and yield faulty or false results that hence cannot be trusted.
In contrast to the scientific method that requires a degree of detachment on the part of the researcher, the spiritual method requires direct and personal involvement in the experiment. One cannot come to know God and His truths by detached observation.
With hardened hearts, Laman and Lemuel personified this kind of detachment. They murmured against their father’s prophecies, refusing to believe that God could reveal such things to man. They would not believe, and therefore, did not even try to dispel their doubts through personal involvement in spiritual inquiry. Nephi, on the other hand, approached his quest with spiritual hunger. “For it came to pass after I had desired to know the things that my father had seen,” Nephi recorded, “and believing that the Lord was able to make them known unto me, as I sat pondering in mine heart I was caught away in the Spirit of the Lord” (1 Nephi 11:1; emphasis added).
To the Zoramites who desired to develop faith in God, Alma illustrated and amplified this process of inquiry when he admonished them to “awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words” (Alma 32:27). Alma’s suggested experiment follows much the same pattern that Nephi had followed in his own quest–desire, belief, pondering. But he adds (v. 37) an additional element–nourish. These elements comprise the divinely designated process–the “rules” of faithful questioning, the “imperatives” of spiritual inquiry–desire, belief, pondering, and nourishment. Just as it was for Nephi and Alma, so it is for us today in our own quest for knowledge of spiritual things.
Desire
“Even if you can no more than desire to believe,” Alma taught the Zoramites concerning this experiment, “let this desire work in you, even until you believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words” (Alma 32:27). Desire is the first step for almost everything in life. A great talent or skill cannot be acquired and fully developed devoid of some degree of desire. Often athletic events are won as much by desire as by skill. “They wanted it more than we did” is a phrase that reflects this “will to win.”
Even in the more significant struggles of life, desire makes a difference–oftentimes all the difference. A struggling marriage cannot be repaired unless both partners desire to save it. An addict–whether his problem be alcohol, drugs, or some other addiction–must first desire to be liberated. A distraught person who threatens or attempts suicide cannot be permanently helped until the desire to live is stronger than the desire to die.
The story (perhaps apocryphal) is often told of the Greek philosopher who was approached by a pupil desiring the key to acquiring great knowledge. Suddenly the old sage pushed the young student’s head under water and held it there until the youth was desperately seeking to extricate himself. When the old tutor finally let go of the young man’s head, the latter angrily asked, “Why did you do that?” The great philosopher then proceeded to teach the young student the very lesson he had so earnestly sought. “When you desire knowledge as much as you desired air when your head was under water, you will not need to ask me. You will gain the knowledge that you seek.”
The greater the desire for something, the greater the price one is willing to pay for it. The greater the desire, the greater is the effort to acquire what is desired. For this reason, having
genuine desire to gain a testimony and know the truths of the gospel not only is the first step but also it actually facilitates all the other steps. “Desire must precede all else in the winning of a testimony,” Elder John A. Widtsoe wrote. “The desire to know the truth of the gospel must be insistent, constant, overwhelming, burning. It must be a driving force. A ‘devil-may-care’ attitude will not do. Otherwise, the seeker will not pay the required price for the testimony.” (Evidences and Reconciliations, p. 16.)
The great spiritual giants of both the past and the present all started their journey to knowledge, wisdom, and spirituality with the same first step–desire.
I, Nephi, being exceedingly young.., and also having great desires to know of the mysteries of God… (1 Nephi 2:16).
I, Abraham,… sought for the blessings of the fathers… desiring also to be one who possessed great knowledge, and to be a greater follower of righteousness, and to possess a greater knowledge (Abraham 1:1-2).
If any person needed wisdom from God, I did; for how to act I did not know, and unless I could get more wisdom than I then had, I would never know …..
At length I came to the conclusion that I must either remain in darkness and confusion, or else I must do as James directs, that is, ask of God. I at length came to the determination to “ask of God,” concluding that if he gave wisdom to them that lacked wisdom, and would give liberally, and not upbraid, I might venture. (Joseph Smith~History 1:12-13.)
Even if it is merely the earliest inklings of desire to know, this spiritual sojourn of eternal importance always begins with that first step.
Believe That You Will Receive
Akin to desire is belief that God will reveal truth to you. Having a believing heart is as essential to the process of spiritual inquiry as the mind is. Nephi was able not only to see what his father had seen in vision, but also to receive further heavenly instruction. His desire to know coupled with his belief that God could and would indeed reveal truth to him yielded the desired results. “And blessed art thou, Nephi, because thou believest in the Son of the most high God; wherefore, thou shalt behold the things which thou hast desired” (1 Nephi 11:6).
In contrast, Laman and Lemuel would not believe. And as a result they could not know. They were like a scientist or researcher who determines the conclusions before the experiment is conducted and results are analyzed. Such unbelieving people will not honestly evaluate the evidence and will dismiss all findings contrary to their own preconceptions, even in the presence of overwhelming evidence of truth. A researcher guilty of such a sham would characterize the worst of intellectual dishonesty–a total defiance of established rules of inquiry. His conclusions would be thrown out and his future “research” would be viewed with suspicion.
The same principles apply in the spiritual realm. One cannot thumb his nose at the very process of spiritual inquiry and the divinely established “rules” for revelation and yet be trusted to come up with the right answers. “Ironically, many refuse to examine gospel truths simply because of how God reveals them,” Elder Neal A. Maxwell profoundly observed. “These very
methods swell skepticism among many. . . . Many in the world hold back from making the ‘leap of faith’ because they have already jumped to some other conclusions.” (“The Inexhaustible Gospel,” in Brigham Young University 1991-92 Devotional and Fireside Speeches [Provo, Utah: University Publications, 1992], p. 144.)
The prophet Amulek knew something of this “pseudo-spiritual-inquiry” from his own experience. “I did harden my heart,” he recalled, “for I was called many times and I would not hear; therefore I knew concerning these things, yet I would not know” (Alma 10:6)
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The Book of Mormon teaches and testifies that the truth can penetrate any heart that is not so badly scar-tissued by willful unbelief that it leaves one “past feeling” (see 1 Nephi 17:45). “If ye will not harden your hearts, and ask in faith, believing that ye shall receive,” Nephi promised his brothers, “surely these things shall be made known unto you” (1 Nephi 15:11). To the faith-seeking Zoramites, Alma taught:
Now we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves–It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me. (Alma 32:28; emphasis added.)
There is a promise attached to this principle. The Book of Mormon has its own “guarantee”–the promise made in the last chapter of Moroni. That guarantee–like other warranties–is voided through fraud or purposeful disregard of the conditions attached to it. “Real intent,” Moroni tells us, must be the guiding influence of one’s search for truth. You can even ask if things are “not true,” but you must believe that God can and will give you an answer. But that is not all–then you must be willing to honestly acknowledge and accept what He teaches you.
And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that you would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you by the power of the Holy Ghost.
And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things. (Moroni 10:4-5.)
Read, Ponder, and Pray
Moroni reminds us that desire to know and a believing heart must also be accompanied by efforts on our part–intellectual and spiritual efforts. Someone once told me, “In order to get inspiration you must first get information.” In other words, obtaining a knowledge of the truth requires both the head and the heart.
Amidst the many discussions that my wife and I had with our daughter concerning her questions about doctrine and doubts about the truthfulness of the Church, I asked her where she was getting the information that was forming her opinions. “From my friends,” was her answer. “We talk about this stuff a lot!” That was what I had supposed, so I posed some questions to her.
“Have you tried to find answers to your questions in the scriptures? Have you looked up anything in any Church books or read about these issues in Church magazines?”
“Have you talked with anybody else to get their feelings and ideas on these concerns–like your Young Women leaders, the bishop, or your seminary teacher?”
“Have you posed these questions to your temple-married big sister and your returned-missionary big brother, whom you love, respect, and really look up to?”
“Have you prayed about this?”
The answer to all of these questions was, of course, “No.” I tried to explain to her that where you get your information is sometimes as important as what information is received. I didn’t want her to think that I was totally dismissing anything and everything her friends said, but I wanted her to see that some sources are better than others. “If you want to get the information you will need to pass your biology test, do you get it in your English class?” I asked. It may have seemed a dumb question, because the answer was so obvious, but it caused her to think. “Would you go to Saddam Hussein to get the ‘truth’ about America?” I queried.
“Of course not!” came her response. “He hates America!” At that point I wanted to say, “Gotcha!” but that would have done more harm than good. So I tried to teach the principle with examples she could relate to.
Just as a journalist must obtain verifiable information from the most reliable sources for the news story to be factual and trustworthy, so too must we in our spiritual quest for knowledge. Some sources are better than others. There are secondary sources and primary sources even in spiritual inquiry. Each can provide important information. In order to sift through all kinds of bias, you must gather as much information as you can. Secondary sources are “second-hand”–the opinions, feelings, experiences, teachings of someone else–like parents, teachers, friends, Church leaders, and even critics (to some extent). They are not bad sources of information, but they are not the most important or most reliable. The primary sources include the scriptures and the teachings of the prophets. The ultimate primary source is the Lord Himself.
Once you have obtained information from secondary sources, such as friends, teachers, even parents, and primary sources, such as the scriptures and teachings of the Church–you then approach the Lord in prayer ready to receive inspiration. I concluded with some personal counsel: “You have lots of sources of information available to you. You don’t have to rely on your friends’ ideas or even my testimony alone. Just make sure you give the Lord equal time.”
To the anti-Christ Korihor, Alma demonstrated this hierarchy of spiritual sources. He spoke of the testimonies of others, the words of the scriptures and the prophet–even the earth itself was evidence of God’s truth (see Alma 30:36-44). But the ultimate source, the best primary source, was to be had even beyond these witnesses. “Do ye not suppose that I know of these things myself?” Alma declared. “I testify unto you that I do know that these things whereof I have spoken are true. And how do ye suppose that I know of their surety? Behold, I say unto you they are made known unto me by the Holy Spirit of God. Behold, I have fasted and prayed many days that I might know these things of myself. And now I do know of myself that they are true; for the Lord God hath made them manifest unto me by his Holy Spirit; and this is the spirit of revelation which is in me.” (Alma 5:45-46.)
The sons of King Mosiah, and Alma the son of Alma the Nephite prophet-high priest, certainly had been taught the gospel all of their lives. Yet even they had a rebellious period of doubt. From being doubters and dissidents they were transformed into mighty men of faith and conviction–“they had waxed strong in the knowledge of the truth.” The process of their conversion included both intellectual and spiritual effort~ information and inspiration. “For they were men of a sound understanding and they had searched the scriptures diligently, that they might know the word of God. But this is not all; they had given themselves to much prayer, and fasting; therefore they had the spirit of prophecy, and the spirit of revelation, and when they taught, they taught with power and authority of God.” (Alma 17:2-3.)
Continual Nourishment
Even after one has exercised his desire for knowledge of the truth, believing that God will reveal it to him, and has studied, pondered, and prayed for guidance, the “experiment” must continue. Even after the “experiment” produces, as Alma described, an enlargement of the soul and an increased enlightenment of the mind, there is yet work to be done because “it hath not grown up to a perfect knowledge” (Alma 32:29). You can’t stop now. You must continue with what has thus far been done, but also add an additional –continual nourishment of the seedling of testimony. You must “nourish it with great care,” Alma admonished, “that it may get root, that it may grow up, and bring forth fruit unto us.”
And now behold, if ye nourish it with much care it will get root, and grow up, and bring forth fruit.
But if ye neglect the tree, and take no thought for its nourishment, behold it will not get any root; and when the heat of
the sun cometh and scorcheth it, because it hath no root it withers away, and ye pluck it up and cast it out …
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And thus, if ye will not nourish the word, looking forward with an eye of faith to the fruit thereof, ye can never pluck of the fruit of the tree of life.
But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree springing up unto everlasting life.
And because of your diligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the fruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst.
Then, my brethren, ye shall reap the rewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth fruit unto you. (Alma 32:37-38, 40-43.)
A few words that Alma uses in his description of the “experiment” have special significance to me–continue, diligence, patience. Being an avid gardener, I have a deep appreciation for what Alma is teaching. From the practical experience of gardening, I understand better the spiritual process Alma is describing.
Each year I can hardly wait for the snow to melt in early spring so that I can start planting my vegetable garden. Even before the seeds can be planted there is much work to be done to get the soil ready. When I can finally plant the seeds, I anxiously wait for the first signs of sprouting. Sometimes it takes longer than I expected and, as hard as it is for me to wait, I must be patient and not give up. More than once I have replanted the carrots in my impatience. Only later did I discover that if I had just patiently waited for the first planting to sprout I would have had a much better crop.
While I wait for my plants to grow, and as I count the days until I can partake of the literal “fruit of my labors,” many gardening chores need my constant attention–tasks like weeding, watering, fertilizing, thinning.
It’s a continual process. If I slack off or give up, the weeds take over in almost no time at all. If I forget to water–even for a short time–during the blistering heat of the summer, the plants will die quickly. If I let up even for a while, I can lose my entire garden (except maybe zucchini, which I can’t kill even when I want to!). There will be neither sweet corn nor fresh tomatoes, no juicy watermelons, green beans, or red potatoes. All of my efforts would also be totally wasted. To be able to harvest all of those delicious treats I must continue my efforts with all diligence and patience. A bounteous harvest, spiritually as well as agriculturally, doesn’t come easily or quickly.
“If any man will do [God’s] will, he shall know of the doctrine,” the Savior taught, “whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself” (John 7:17). Without obedience to God-given principles one cannot know of the truthfulness of those principles. The “rules” of spiritual inquiry require right behavior as well as right thinking. While the world may say, “I will live that principle when I know it is right,” the Lord would have us say, “I will live that principle so that I can know it is right!”
Thus King Benjamin taught his people that behavior must accompany belief if one is to possess knowledge of God and His ways. “And again, believe that ye must repent of your sins and forsake them,” he declared, “and humble yourselves before God; and ask in sincerity of heart that he would forgive you; and now, if you believe all these things see that you do them” (Mosiah 4:10). He added: “And behold I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be filled with the love of God, and always retain a remission of your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true” (Mosiah 4:12; see also Alma 26:21-22; Ether 4:13).
After all of the work and weeding and watering, no gardener would knowingly spray a toxic herbicide on his garden as a substitute for fertilizer. Yet, spiritually speaking, that is what is done when one thinks he can come to know the things of God while willfully living a life that is at odds with the “rules” of spiritual inquiry the Lord has established. “I don’t seem to get answers to my prayers,” a young person who was guilty of immorality said to his bishop. “I don’t even know whether God exists.” He will never get the spiritual knowledge he seeks when he is, as it were, spraying “Round-Up” on the spiritual seeds in his heart. Faith, repentance, and diligence in keeping the commandments are the real fertilizers of testimony. Alma declared to the questioning critic Zeezrom”
It is given unto many to know the mysteries of God; nevertheless they are laid under a strict command that they shall not impart only according to the portion of his word which he doth grant unto the children of men, according to the heed and diligence which they give unto him.
And therefore, he that will harden his heart, the same receiveth the lesser portion of the word; and he that will not harden his heart, to him is given the greater portion of the word, until it is given unto him to know the mysteries of God until he know them in full.
And they that will harden their hearts, to them is given the lesser portion of the word, until they know nothing concerning his mysteries; and then they are taken captive by the devil, and led by his will down to destruction. Now this is what is meant by the chains of hell. (Alma 12:9-11.)
Coupled with continued efforts of diligence and obedience is the difficult principle of patience. When we want something that is important to us it is most difficult to wait. But like gardens, testimony and spiritual understanding take time to become fully developed and recognized as such.
“Clearly, without patience we will learn less in life,” Elder Neal A. Maxwell explained. “We will see less; we will feel less; we will hear less. Ironically, ‘rush’ and ‘more’ usually mean ‘less.’ The pressure of ‘now,’ time and time again, goes against the grain of the gospel with its eternalism.” (In “Patience,” 1979 Devotional Speeches of the Year [Provo, Utah: Brigham Young University Press, 1980], p. 217.) If I eat them before they are ready, I certainly can’t make a valid evaluation of the quality of the tomatoes I planted or the sweet corn I grew. So it is with the “fruits” of the gospel.
When I was young, I prayed for a witness of the truths of the gospel. I guess I wanted to have a Joseph Smith-like experience–complete with visions and visitations of heavenly beings. As the weeks and months wore on without any remarkable experiences, I questioned both the process and the end product. I wasn’t willing to be patient–I wanted my witness right now! And though I wouldn’t admit it at the time, I wanted it on my terms!
Years later, however, I received the witness that I desired. But it did not come when or how I had expected it. I learned, as President David O. McKay had experienced in his own life, that a knowledge of the truthfulness of the gospel most often comes “as a natural consequence of doing one’s duty.” So it is with gardens. We can carefully and continually cultivate, weed, and water the plants, but ultimately we have to stand back and watch and wait. Spiritually speaking, after all we can do–desire, believe, study, ponder, pray, fast, obey, serve, and repent–we must still patiently, and in faith, wait upon the Lord. Only by doing this can we partake of that divinely delicious fruit–knowledge of God and the truthfulness of His gospel.
“I Could Not be Shaken”–
The “Fruits” of Personal Testimony
Why do I want my daughter to overcome her doubts and come to know the truths of the gospel? What does it matter? Why do I need a testimony? What value does it have in today’s world? Each of these questions is perhaps best answered by examples from the Book of Mormon.
Sherem was known as an anti-Christ because he declared to the Nephites “that there should be no Christ” and he sought to “overthrow the doctrine of Christ” (Jacob 7:2). With his great learning and “perfect knowledge of the language,” his powers of persuasion and flattery, and the power he had received from the devil himself, Sherem had great success in leading away the hearts of many people (see Jacob 7:3-4). Possessing natural arrogance and bolstered by his success among the people, Sherem took it upon himself to “reason” with Jacob–the prophet-president of the Nephite Church. “And he had hope to shake me from the faith,” Jacob recorded, “notwithstanding the many revelations and the many things which I had seen concerning these things” (Jacob 7:5).
Jacob wasn’t as concerned about his own faith as he was of that of his people. He therefore confounded Sherem with reason, with the scriptures, and most of all because “the Lord God poured in his Spirit into my soul” (Jacob 7:8). Why wasn’t he threatened by Sherem’s flattery and powers of persuasion and all of the “philosophies” that seemed so reasonable? “I had heard the voice of the Lord speaking unto me,” Jacob declared, “wherefore, I could not be shaken” (Jacob 7:5). Sherem’s assault on the faith of Jacob had no effect because Jacob was protected by and firmly founded upon his testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel and his spiritual understanding of the “doctrine of Christ.”
In a similar way, when Enos heard the voice of God in his own heart he was strengthened spiritually and his faith fortified. “And there came a voice unto me, saying, Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed . . . .thy faith hath made thee whole,” he recalled. “And after I, Enos, had hear these words my faith began to be unshaken in the Lord.” (Enos 1:5, 8, 11.) The knowledge Enos had obtained served as a strength throughout his life and as a guide in his ministry among the people.
Hearing the “voice of the Lord,” having a spiritual knowledge of the truthfulness of the gospel, doesn’t mean that one knows all things or has answers to all questions. It does, however, give comfort and confidence even when we don’t know all the answers to the “tough questions” or know how to adequately respond to criticisms. Nephi’s answer to the question posed by an angel of the Lord illustrates the power of knowing without knowing everything. “Knowest thou the condescension of God?” the angel asked. “And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.” (1 Nephi 11: 16-17.) Nephi humbly acknowledged that he didn’t know everything, but he did know the love of God.
What Nephi knew was far more important than what he didn’t know. The same is true for us. With a testimony of the gospel we can still be confident in the face of questions for which we may not have answers. It becomes our rock foundation for us. Without that solid base everything else falls apart amidst doubt and criticism.
Several years ago I saw this principle in action as full-time missionaries were presenting a lesson to a friend of mine. With each concept presented by the elders, my friend would challenge their assumptions with contentious questions and arguments. He would seek to tear apart their reasoning with his training in logic and philosophy. This friend had been a national debate champion in college and it certainly manifested itself in his “discussion” with the missionaries.
Finally, after a torturous hour of trying to make it through the lesson, the junior companion from a small town in Idaho spoke up. “I am not very good with words,” he started out. “I can’t hold a candle to you when it comes to debating. I don’t even know the meaning of the big words you’ve been using. I can’t answer all of the questions you have raised. I don’t know very much, but I do know that the Book of Mormon is true and that this Church is the true church on earth. I know that with all my heart and there is nothing you can say that can change that!”
With that statement there was silence. For over an hour my friend had tied these young elders in knots with his knowledge and debating skill, but now he had nothing to say. What the young junior companion didn’t know, in comparison to the worldly knowledge of my friend, paled in comparison to that which he did know. Because of that firm foundation he may have been flustered and frustrated, but he, like Jacob of old, was not shaken.
Each of us today will face challenges to our faith from many critics and unbelievers. We may also encounter a personal “crisis of faith” through adversity and affliction in our private lives. There may even be troubling issues of doctrine or history that threaten the very underpinnings of our faith, leaving us uneasy and without rational explanations. It is comforting to know that we need not know all things if we will but know the fight thing–the truthfulness of the gospel, the divinity of Jesus Christ, and that the Church is, indeed, “the only true and living church upon the face of the whole earth” (D&C 1:30).
I do not believe it is merely coincidence that the first several questions of the temple recommend interview deal with our personal conviction of the fundamental teachings of the gospel–the reality of God, the transforming power of the Atonement, the truthfulness of the Restoration, and the authoritative and inspired ministry of living prophets. This is the knowledge that is foundational to all other things and that will protect us in times of doubt and difficulties. “I am satisfied. I know it’s so,” President Gordon B. Hinckley testified, “that whenever a man has a true witness in his heart of the living reality of the Lord Jesus Christ all else will come together as it should. . . . That is the root from which all virtue springs among those who call themselves Latter-day Saints.” (Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1997], p. 648.)
We are being spiritually assaulted today by means of the same tactics and philosophies utilized anciently by Sherem, Nehor, Zeezrom, and Korihor. To remain unfazed and unshaken we must be like Nephi, Jacob, Enos, having a personal knowledge and conviction of the truth. We are living in the days of and experiencing the very fulfillment of President Heber C. Kimball’s prophecy of the last days.
To meet the difficulties that are coming, it will be necessary for you to have a knowledge of the truth of this work for yourselves. The difficulties will be of such a character that the man or woman who does not possess this personal knowledge or witness will fall. . . .
. . . The time will come when no man nor woman will be able to endure on borrowed light. Each will have to be guided by the light within himself. If you do not have it, how can you stand? (As quoted in Orson F. Whitney, Life of Heber C. Kimball [1888; reprint, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1967], p. 450.)
“Have ye inquired of the Lord?” Nephi asked his brothers. That question is as relevant to my daughter, my family, and myself as it was anciently for Lehi’s family. Only from seeking truth as Nephi did and “experimenting” upon the word of God as Alma taught can we stand upon a firm, rock-solid foundation in a world of shifting values and quicksands of cynicism. Only with a testimony burning in our hearts can we remain “unshaken” like Jacob in the face of anti-Christs–whatever their modern disguises. The words of Helaman to his sons, Lehi and Nephi, are needed just as much today by my own doubting daughter, as well as by each of us in our own lives.
And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall (Helaman 5:12).
