An ’empty nester’ writes, “I thought by the time I reached this stage of my life, my home would be orderly and organized and that there would be so much less stuff since all six children are married. But, alas, such is not the case. How do I begin to lighten the load in this home? I just don’t know how to let go of some things that we will never use.
My home is neat and clean, but the cupboards and drawers and closets are full of things that I’m sure others can use, but I need someone to come and hold my hand and tell me it’s okay to toss it. I really do want it gone but doing it is a different story.
Thank you for any suggestions you could give me, KK”
Dear KK,
Inasmuch as there are hundreds of women out there who struggle with the problem of too much “stuff” and who feel exactly the way you do about it, I’m using my reply as the basis for this month’s column. So here goes. . .
First of all, I commend you for keeping a neat, clean home! I appreciate the desire and the dilemma that is yours in ridding closets and cupboards of unneeded “stuff.” You’re right! Engaging the services of a “hand holder” to help you toss things is a good idea. In some of my talks and writings, I have recommended a “clutter coach” or “clutter buddy” – a family member or friend who could cheer you on in your pursuit. (Then maybe you could return the favor by going to their home and motivating them by being their coach!)
I find it helpful to reduce the stuff in our closets, cupboards, and storage areas by about 10% each year. I do this by “sweeps” through the house where I toss books, papers, clothing, and miscellaneous items such as vases. I do endeavor to be selective, keeping those things that have value. I find it easier to part with the rest by visualizing how the items could be of use to someone else. With each sweep I find a few more things I can part with.
My strongest motivation for getting rid of stuff at this time of my life is to think, “If I don’t throw it away, my children will have to.” I don’t want to leave them with such a burdensome task any more than I want to pass on unpaid bills and debts to them.
What I do want to leave them is the following:
1. A legacy of faith—a love of the Lord and a desire to keep His commandments and honor their covenants and serve Him and others.
2. My life story—showing the hand of the Lord in blessing my life. My husband and I have each served three missions. We are now fulfilling one more “mission” by writing our life stories and passing them down to our posterity for the “learning and profit” of our children and grandchildren.
3. My house in order which includes
a. An up-to-date will
b. No debts – all bills (expenses) current
c. Family records organized and indexed
d. Streamlined household with junk-free closets and cupboards
My husband, Hank, recently celebrated his 80th birthday. We gathered our family (which now includes four generations and numbers in the sixties) for a reunion to commemorate the occasion. The highlight of the reunion was Hank’s presentation of his life story (autobiography). Our hearts were warmed as we observed how thrilled each family member was to receive a copy.
Hank is facing some health challenges, so he wrote this tender conclusion to his autobiography:
. . . I am determined to do all I can for as long as I can to maintain a quality lifestyle and faithfully and cheerfully endure to the end. This quote by Soichoro Honda sums up my situation: ‘You see life is like an airplane journey. No matter how good the take-off, no matter how good the flight, if you have a crash landing then it was all for nothing. I’m coming in for the landing now, the most important part is just beginning.’
(Followed by his testimony.)
Leaving things in order is part of a good landing. So, my Empty Nester friend, I hope these suggestions can provide the information and even some inspiration to help you accomplish this.
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I’ve addressed the subject of “de-junking” your house a number of times in my monthly Meridian Magazine column. You can find information that provides tips and motivation on Meridian’s archives or posted in user-friendly categories on my website, www.theartofhomemaking.com. Click on “free articles” and then “The Organization of Things,” and “The Organization of Papers”
Do you need H.E.L.P.?
Home Executive Lessons and Principles
By Daryl Hoole
Daryl is answering questions from readers who contact her at [email protected]. Her response will be sent directly to the reader. Some responses may also be incorporated into her “At Home” column that appears every four weeks on Mondays on Meridian. This information will also be available on her personal website at www.theartofhomemaking.com
