There was a time when the word “addiction” only brought up images of drug or alcohol addicts. Drunks, druggies, bums, derelicts. People who were obviously in Satan’s clutches. But, with President Hinckley’s prophetic witness ringing in our ears that even anger can be addictive, 1 Latter-day Saints are finding they may need to adjust their definition of “addiction.” Maybe addiction really does plague the Saints far beyond the small percentage that fall into obvious alcohol or drug abuse.
In 1991, a small number of faithful, practicing Latter-day Saints had already felt that witness directly from the Spirit of the Lord. They had problems in their lives – bad habits they could not overcome no matter how much will-power and persistent effort they put forth. Only one thing had made any difference in their lives – learning and living the principles expressed in the Twelve Step addiction recovery program that had originated with Alcoholics Anonymous.
Yet none of these people had a problem with alcohol.
Still they all identified totally with the alcoholics complete powerlessness to break free from their weakness without Divine Power, and they all longed for an LDS version of the Twelve Steps and a recovery program where they could openly acknowledge their LDS faith and lifestyle.
They knew that they could not speak of being delivered from the bondage of their weaknesses without being able to speak specifically and explicitly about the Savior Jesus Christ. Also, they were convinced that they needed to ground their recovery work firmly in the principles of the 12 Steps, but only as those principles were in harmony with the Book of Mormon . They recognized that only in bringing their hearts into harmony with the heart (will and mind) of the Lord, could they hope to be “recovered” from their weaknesses and challenges. 2
Thus, after much prayer and fasting, this little group felt led by the Lord to form such a organization, and Heart t’ Heart was born. For 17 years it has quietly sought to provide faithful LDS members a place where they could come for what might be thought of as an “intensive care” focus on the Atonement of the Lord and how it applies right here, right now, in their everyday lives to fortify them against Satan’s increasing influence in the world – felt so powerfully in the effects of addictive behaviors – whether it be in their own lives or in the life of a loved one.
Everyone is Invited to Heart t’ Heart’s 17 th Annual Conference
On Friday and Saturday, August 15-16, 2008, Heart t’ Heart (HtH) , the longest-standing 12 Step program for addiction recovery in the LDS community, will be holding it’s 17 th Annual Conference at Utah Valley University (formerly UVSC) in Orem, Utah.
Saturday’s all-day program, based on the theme “Come Boldly Unto the Throne of Grace” (Hebrews 4;16), will begin with an “early-bird” sharing meeting at 9:00 a.m., followed at 10:00 a.m. by the keynote address given by, Philip A. Harrison, author of Clean Hands, Pure Heart: Overcoming Addiction to Pornography through the Redeeming Power of Jesus Christ. (See the Meridian archives to read chapters of this book.) Phil will be sharing his recovery through Heart t’ Heart that has contributed to his ability to be clean of pornography addiction for more than eight years.
Throughout the rest of the day, there will be three workshops offered each hour. Each workshop will be led by two presenters who will share their recovery experiences from a variety of addictions and other life challenges. The program will end with the capstone address offered by Mary S., the current president of the General Service Board of Heart t’ Heart. Mary has an amazing story to tell of her loss of more than 150 pounds and the years of recovery through the Savior’s Atonement that has kept her safe from unhealthy eating.
Anyone interested in finding a Christ-centered solution to addiction based squarely on study of the Book of Mormon and the principles of the Gospel as they correlate with the 12 Steps are welcome to attend the conference. Newcomers to HtH are welcome to attend the entire conference free of charge.
There will be a luncheon served on Saturday for those who have pre-paid for it by August 1. This payment can be mailed in with a copy of the registration form, or it can be paid through the online store on HtH’s website. A complete copy of the program of this year’s conference, as well as a registration form, can be found by going to the Heart t’ Heart website at www.heart-t-heart.org.
Another Option – Exploring Heart t’ Heart’s Website and Finding Long-Distance Support for Recovery
When you go to HtH’s website, we invite you to explore the opportunities it offers for sharing in a fellowship of hope in the Savior and continuing recovery from addiction. On the left hand side of the homepage, under HtH Services you will find links to our monthly newsletter, Heartbeats , to finding a meeting. HtH offers meetings online every day of the week, and phone meetings twice a week. There is also a list of face-to-face meetings and contact people in many areas of the US , Canada , and other countries.
You will also find a link to the “Forums” of HtH. These are continuous threads of sharing on either general Gospel subjects pertaining to addiction, or addressing a certain addictive behavior.
Those who participate in HtH come together to share experience, strength and hope with each other in the same spirit of mutual acceptance for each other and admittance of need for the atoning power of the Lord Jesus Christ. This is a place where the Atonement is the first and foremost gospel principle studied and testified of.
Some Testimonials from HtH Participants
First from Mary S. of Manitoba Canada (this year’s capstone speaker at our conference):
It’s taken a long time, but in the wonderful grace and mercy of God and in the process of time, I have come to understand that my experiences with addiction, both in myself and in my parents, are not something to be ashamed of or run away from, but a condition to be embraced – just as the Lord gave Joseph who was sold into Egypt the power to turn his hardship into a blessing for himself and others.
Now that I am living in a state of remission from my several addictions I can say that, although it has been very challenging to deal with the confusion of addiction in my parents, it has also become one of their greatest legacies to me. It has brought me to my knees. It has broken my heart, made my spirit contrite, and turned me to Jesus Christ as nothing else did, or could have.
This doesn’t mean that it is desirable to me to continue with addictive practices. It doesn’t mean that I believe that the acting out of addiction is good – what it means is that God has blessed me with an internal propensity towards weakness that almost has, and could still, easily kill me. It means that I must take very seriously my relationship with my Saviour and Redeemer.
I no longer feel to blame my parents, my upbringing, or my particular life circumstances for the challenges and grief addiction has brought into my life for many years. I feel to embrace the great gift of understanding my weakness, and the awesome strength of Christ that moves into my heart, when I freely acknowledge this my absolute, continual need for Him .
Addiction has taught me that in each and every day I have but one thing to do – and that is to come unto Christ – that everything else that happens in my life is an outgrowth of my experience and relationship with my Saviour, Jesus Christ.
Second, from Phil H., our keynote speaker at this year’s conference:
I learned something about Heart t’ Heart Conferences before I ever went to a Heart t’ Heart meeting. My wife, Kathy, had borrowed some tapes from previous conferences and had been listening to them for several days. Whenever I came into the room, she turned them off, thinking I would not be interested in them. I asked about them and she gave me one or two to listen to.
When I heard the first talk, I was knocked off my feet. A man was speaking, and from the background noise, it seemed to me he was speaking to a mixed audience. What astounded me was his first sentence. He said: “Hi. My name’s Duane, and I am addicted to pornography.” Here was a man talking openly, in a public meeting, about what I was keeping buried in the deepest recesses of my soul. And he didn’t seem the least bit afraid or embarrassed. There were several messages conveyed to my heart as I reflected on this amazing situation:
- This Heart t’ Heart must be a safe place – a place where a person doesn’t need to hide who he really is or what his biggest challenges in life are.
- Heart t’ Heart must be an incredibly supportive group for someone to feel that open.
- HtH must be a place of healing, where people not only can talk about their challenges, but start experiencing freedom from the bondage they have been in for years.
- This degree of compassion and understanding feels like the way the Lord Himself dealt with sinners. I realized that what I was feeling-even in the recording of the conference-was the Spirit of the Lord. That was the day my healing from pornography addiction began.
This year is ten years since I went to my first Heart t’ Heart Conference. I haven’t missed one since, and I will be there this year, to drink in the Spirit, to hear the challenges and the blessings in the lives of my brothers and sisters, and to share the same from my own life. In a big way, I am going home, to attend a reunion of a very special family that I am grateful to be a part of.
Peg W., who currently serves on the HtH General Service Board, testifies of the programs support in recovery from perfectionism and codependency:
Before I came into recovery, I had so little sense of my own worth to the Lord that I allowed others to control and abuse me. In return I also inflicted abuse, mostly on myself and on my children. Though I was very active and involved in the Church, I privately suffered from so much shame and guilt, I found myself losing hope and battling with depression.
Desperate for help, I prayed for the Lord’s guidance. Then one day, seemingly by total “coincidence” I found myself introduced to the study guide, He Did Deliver Me from Bondage and the online fellowship of HtH. I asked the Lord if this was the answer to my prayers and immediately felt a burning in my bosom – an experience I had prayed for often but had never before received. I began attending daily online meetings, working through the writing exercises in the study guide, and writing to a sponsor.
It wasn’t long after I began participating in the 12 Step program HtH offered, that I began to experience such a strengthening and deepening of my spiritual awareness of Heavenly Father and the Savior’s very personal, individual love for me. Above all, I was learning how very true the promises of the Sacrament prayers are – that if I am willing to come unto the Lord and take upon me His name, willing to keep His commandments, and willing to always remember Him, His Spirit will always be with me.
Today, I am no longer a miserably frightened woman. I know my Savior loves me! Through living these principles, I have experienced the great mercy of my Lord. I am wrapped in His arms of safety, as mentioned in Alma 34:16. I still have many challenges, but, like Nephi, I know in whom I can trust – my Savior Jesus Christ. (See 2 Nephi 4:19.)
And finally, from Keith H. of Mesa, AZ:
Although I grew up in the Church and had a great desire to live the commandments, in my twenties I fell into the trap of pornography, and it became a lifelong struggle to try and resist its lure. After struggling with this “bad habit” for more than two decades, I reached a point where I had finally concluded I would never win the struggle, and was ready to give up all hope of ever returning to my Father in Heaven, and even quit trying to keep the commandments. At that point of despair, I was led to Heart-t-Heart.
When I attended my first Heart-t-Heart online meeting, the Lord blessed me with an Alma-like experience, in which he wrapped me in his arms – I knew he was with me in the room, even though I could not see him – and changed my heart in an instant. I had grown up viewing God as authoritarian and judgmental, but on that miraculous morning, I felt no criticism or judgment, only pure, overwhelming love.
All desire for evil left me. All selfishness left me. I desired to do anything the Lord asked of me, simply because of the love I felt in his presence. Not everyone who attends Heart-t-Heart meetings has that same kind of sudden miraculous change of heart, but all I have known who have attended Heart-t-Heart meetings and who have honestly attempted to work the 12 principles of recovery find so much support for their ongoing journey.
Heart-t-Heart has helped me learn of my utter dependence on the Lord, and the joy that relying on Him brings, and has helped me immeasurably in my efforts to walk hand in hand with Him daily.
In Conclusion
Heart t’ Heart acknowledges the truth that addiction is one of Satan’s most powerful tools against the Saints. Why do we feel that way? Because addiction can shows up in our lives in as many forms as there are ways to do something – anything – to avoid facing the truth and seeking counsel from the Lord. We do not pretend to be a professional resource. We are simply a supportive fellowship of faithful LDS members who agree that there is no other name or way or means whereby salvation from our weaknesses will ever come than through our Savior’s intervention in our behalf.
Though it has been very humbling, we’ve had to acknowledge that our various addictions are all nothing more or less than a new name for the ancient act of idolatry – of substituting something or someone else for God. It is seeking solace and security, comfort and relief from life’s challenges by running away not only into drugs, alcohol, and sexual misbehavior, but also into unhealthy eating behavior, compulsive spending, compulsive internet use, gaming, television – or (and this is the hardest form to admit) even admirable activities like seeking perfect appearances and performances, taking charge and giving service.
Heart t’ Heart in no way poses an “alternate voice” or a threat to one’s testimony of the Restored Gospel of Christ or of the Church. It charges no fees or dues of any kind to those who participate in it, and poses no attendance requirements. It seeks to do nothing except offer a gathering place for LDS members who feel interested and willing to explore the concept of addiction and the miracle of recovery from a LDS point of view.
If you have any questions about Heart t’ Heart , you’re welcome to email them to [email protected].
Notes
1. Gordon B. Hinckley , “Living Worthy of the Girl You Will Someday Marry,” Ensign, May 1998, 49
2. See Ether 12:27.
