Reviewed by Catherine K. Arveseth
The Rock
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“And the house on the rock stood still.” This concluding line from a children’s song says much. Consider for a moment the kind of dwellings we are creating for our personal relationships. Are we like the foolish man, building our homes upon the shifting sand? Or do we remember the wise man that climbed a little higher and farther to build his house upon the rock? Wendy L. Watson claims, “In a world with so much uncertainty…we need places of security, commitment we can bank on, people we can trust and love we can rely on” (2).
Watson holds a Ph.D. in family therapy, is a professor of marriage and family therapy at Brigham Young University and has been a marriage and family therapist for over thirty years. She believes that “rock-solid relationships” are those that “endure and flourish even when the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune’ (Hamlet III, I 56-58) combine with the adversary’s storms and the world’s…sinister effort to ultimately destroy love” (2). After years of working with countless families and individuals, Watson boldly declares that the only way we can build solid relationships is upon The Rock, the “rock of our Redeemer” (Helaman 5:12). She explains that relationships must have as their foundation, Jesus Christ.
The Best “How To” Books
This truth, found in the scriptures, has led Watson to use the words of Christ when counseling others. She is convinced that the very best “how to” books on relationships are the scriptures. Where else will we find more correct patterns when wondering how to deal with God’s children? The Book of Mormon prophet, Nephi, taught that “the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do” (2 Nephi 32:3).
But is it enough to simply read from the scriptures? Watson says it is not. She explains the difference between reading the scriptures and immersing ourselves in them. “We have an ongoing need to be repeatedly immersed in the truths of the restored gospel, or we will understand and experience enough only to feel guilty – and not enough of the eternal truths to feel joy…a little sprinkling of the scriptures in our lives will never bring us the fullness of joy that accompanies regular immersion” (8-9). This statement rang loud and true in my mind and heart. Most of us have experienced the subtle dissatisfaction that accompanies “scriptural sprinkling” in contrast to the genuine uplift of a “scriptural immersion.”
Watson Wisdoms
Watson’s book is short, easy to read and full of proverbs. Reading the chapter titles alone will give you enough to percolate for some time. Personally, I loved Watson’s fresh examinations and perspectives. She looked at relationships in ways I had never considered – from unique angles that speak of the power we have to strengthen or injure our loved ones. Below are a few of my favorite Watson wisdoms, paraphrased.
Experimenting Upon the Word
A selling point for Watson’s Book is its practical application. In each chapter, Watson gives several examples that illustrate the wisdom she has gleaned from the scriptures. Then she “gets personal” by asking the reader to think of a relationship in their life that needs attention. Almost before the reader can realize what’s happening, they are thinking about how they can apply this newly learned truth. Such personal application makes the book a useful tool, rather than just a discourse. Watson skillfully guides the reader into self-examination, assessment and true experimentation upon God’s words.
There Is No End to Wisdom
A witty wrap-up concludes the book as Watson reminds us “there is no end.” The search for wisdom in the scriptures never ends. If we can avoid reading the scriptures perfunctorily, not just to prepare a lesson or give a talk, we will find more wisdom than we could ever imagine. Watson writes, “Immersing ourselves in the word of the Lord is not just about color-coding our scriptures, although that may help. It’s about adding another level of vibrancy to our relationship with the Savior…It’s not just about reading the scriptures. It’s about learning to hear the voice of the Lord” (161-162).
Rock-Solid Relationships is a self-help book grounded in the teachings of Jesus Christ. I found it applicable, easy to relate to, and enlightening in content. I was reminded to return to the scriptures often when seeking guidance in my own personal relationships. I would recommend it to any parent, sibling or spouse, especially if you are keenly aware of a relationship in your life that needs healing or strengthening. When the rains come down and the floods come up, let us make sure we have built our homes, which are our relationships, upon the rock of Christ.
