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We were at a community reception for donors of the college arts programs. The reception was previous to a big summer concert. I was visiting with a friend when my wife, Donna, brought a lady over to meet me. “This is my husband,” Donna said pointing to me. “Daris, this is Melva. She wants to meet you.”
I reached out my hand. “Glad to meet you, Melva.”
Melva was about sixty years old. She was a pleasant looking woman with a big smile. She seemed almost giddy.
She took my hand and shook it. “I’ve got to tell you, I am one of your biggest fans. In fact, probably the only fan bigger than myself is my husband. We both race to get the paper on Thursdays so we can be first to read your story.”
I smiled. “I’m glad to know that someone reads what I write. Sometimes I think my whole audience consists of my wife, my children, and birds where people use my stories to line the bottom of cages.”
Melva laughed. “You’re funny. I do hope you will be here for a little while. My husband should be back in about a half hour. He dropped me off and left to run some errands. He would love to meet you.”
I wasn’t sure how soon we planned to take our seats for the concert, so I looked at Donna. She nodded, so I knew she felt we could wait.
“Sure,” I said to Melva. “We’ll be around for a while.”
Melva went off to keep an eye out for her husband, and Donna and I mingled with others. We had been involved in theatre and music for a lot of years, and Donna was on the university committee for the promotion of the arts, so we knew a lot of the people there. We enjoyed visiting, but as time for the concert grew closer, I became concerned that we would not get very good seats.
Melva kept coming back to check and see if we were still there, and when she saw we were, she would go off again to look for her husband. Finally, just as we were ready to go to the concert hall, Melva came in pulling a man by the hand.
“Merve,” Melva said, “guess who this is.”
Merve looked like he was completely out of place at this sort of event. The concert was quite formal, and all of the women were wearing dresses and most of the men were wearing suits. All of the men not in suits were wearing collar shirts and ties. That is, all were except for Merve. He had on a nice flannel shirt, new blue jeans, cowboy boots, and bolo tie. The look on his face said he’d rather be almost anywhere else.
“How am I supposed to know?” he asked Melva.
“Think of your favorite things to do every week,” Melva said.
Merve thought a minute. He then looked at me and asked, “Do you work at the feed store?”
I laughed, and Melva said, “No, Merve. Think of the newspaper.”
Suddenly it dawned on him who I was. “Why you’re Mr. Howard, aren’t you?” I nodded, and he grabbed my hand and shook it heartily. “You don’t look anything like your picture in the paper, but then I’m sure they did that Photoshop stuff to make it look better than real.”
I wasn’t quite sure what to say. I knew no one had Photoshopped it.
“When I read your story about the farm and ranch store,” Merve said, “I laughed so hard I almost broke a rib. In fact, I named one of my horses after you.”
“Really?” I said. “That’s quite an honor. I’d like to see your horse.”
“Sorry,” Merve said. “Can’t do that. He was the stupidest animal I ever owned, and I finally had to sell him.”
I guess my fan club is down one horse.
DanJuly 14, 2016
I was cleaning my canary's cage and happened to discover your article as I pulled it from the bottom of his cage. It was a bit "smudged" but I was delighted in your sense of humor and insightful thoughts. It was a magnificent mood booster, and I must say, the canary has been chirping gloriously the last two weeks.
PaulJuly 13, 2016
Ouch! Dumbest horse gets named after you, hopefully not intentional. Your stories stand by themselves, but if I had to explain to someone what to expect, I might say the style is a blend of Patrick McMannus and James Herriot. Looking forward to more.