Editor’s Note: Our friend and longtime Meridian writer Larry Barkdull recently passed away. To remember and honor him this is one of a series of his past articles that we are republishing regularly.
Are children indiscriminately shuffled into families by a cosmic roll of the dice? Or are they strategically positioned by a divine Hand?
If Heavenly Father’s house is a house of order, if God organizes all the stars in heaven to follow precise orbits so that they might stand “for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and for years,”[i]if He forms every creation to exist delicately in a balanced ecosystem, if by design He places all truth and intelligence into specified spheres so that they might act for themselves[ii] -why would God leave the placement of his children to chance?
Of course, He does not. Countless ages of premortal obedience and righteous living determine our children’s mortal placement, which, beyond every other consideration, is meant to reward them and to magnify their opportunity to advance toward exaltation. Even the difficulties they experience can serve to save and exalt them.[iii]
Elder Neal A. Maxwell declared that the youth of Zion are living here and now by assignment. “These are your days!” he said. “You are in this time and circumstance by Divine appointment. God knows you and he knows what you have the capacity to achieve.”[iv] When our children slip into seasons of waywardness, we might better endure the challenges by remembering who they really are and why God has strategically placed them in our family.
Praying That She Will Remember
“Evelyn” in Michigan (name and location changed) wrote of her daughter: “My husband and I knew that the child I was carrying was a special soul. Early in my pregnancy we began to have experiences with this child. Soon we perceived that a little girl was coming to us. And what a powerful person she was! When we would gather our children together for family prayer, our “little girl” would come and join us, too. Sometimes, we could actually point to the place where she was kneeling. On a few occasions, when we had Monday night activities for Family Home Evening, we perceived that she had come along. Although we had enjoyed special experiences with each of our children before they were born, we had never experienced anything like this.
“When our daughter was born she was the joy of our life, and she lived up to the powerful personality that we had previously experienced. Then, when she entered High School, she hit a crisis point. In a class, she was introduced to another element of friends, who had a profound affect on her. Without our knowing, she began to experiment with alcohol then marijuana. One thing led to another, sloppy appearance–sexual dalliance, more alcohol and drug experimentation–and soon she was spending less and less time with our family, and she abandoned the church altogether. Our hearts were shattered one night when we received a call from the police station that she had been picked up for driving under the influence.
“We do not know when this trial will end for us. We continue to love and encourage her, but we are settling in for what may be a long siege. Our peace lies in the fact that the Lord allowed us to experience early the power and importance of this child who was coming to our family. We know she is ours for a reason, and our responsibility for her is long-term. Our prayer is that our daughter might someday remember who she really is.”
Divine Appointment and Positioning
God, being all-knowing and anticipating every eventuality that would befall our children’s mortal experience, carefully positioned our children into selected families to provide them the best chance of nurture, repentance and exaltation. This is a critical piece of information for parents. Despite their feelings to the contrary, a child’s rebellion is not a parent’s failing but rather a parent’s calling.
When the child does turn back-and most of them will-they will begin to remember who they really are and resume their premortal work-the work of redemption–by gathering the living and the dead to Christ and disseminating the gospel blessings to them, much in the same way “the faithful…of this dispensation, when they depart from mortal life, continue their labors…in the great world of the spirits of the dead.”[v] The scriptural stories of the Apostle Paul, Alma and the Sons of Mosiah are given to us as universal models.
We must keep in mind that because our children were assigned to come forth in the last days, they are targets for the Adversary. We are clearly taught that children born in the Covenant in the last days have come to earth with the singular assignment to prepare the world for the Savior’s Second Coming. Therefore, our children, who are born or adopted into the lineage of Israel are “marked” for greatness because of their former greatness. President Ezra Taft Benson said,
In all ages prophets have looked down through the corridors of time to our day. Billions of the deceased and those yet to be born have their eyes on us. Make no mistake about it-this is a marked generation. There has never been more expected of the faithful in such a short period of time than there is of us. Never before on the face of this earth have the forces of evil and the forces of good been so well organized. Now is the great day of the devil’s power. But now is also the great day of the Lord’s power…. While our generation will be comparable in wickedness to the days of Noah, when the Lord cleansed the earth by flood, there is a major difference this time: God has saved for the final inning some of His stronger and most valiant children, who will help bear off the kingdom triumphantly…. You are the generation that must be prepared to meet your God….The final outcome is certain-the forces of righteousness will win.[vi]
An Amazing Promise Waiting for Fulfillment
Clearly, to be purposely and divinely placed at this crucial time and place, each of our children had to have proven exceedingly righteous. Joseph Smith revealed, “There is a time appointed for every man, according as his works shall be.”[vii]
Paul explained that this “time appointed” would be especially true of the latter-day children of Israel; they would be specifically singled out and strategically placed because premortally they had “conformed to the image of [God’s] Son.”[viii]
Therefore, God took careful note of their potential to do good and deigned to position them in an era and circumstance that was best suited to their strengths and weaknesses. Elder Erastus Snow, explained that the premortal ministry of God’s “peculiar people,” destined them to assume important mortal callings in the Melchizedek and Aaronic Priesthoods:
For he has had his eye upon the chosen spirits that have come upon the earth in the various ages from the beginning of the world up to this time…The Lord has sent those noble spirits into the world to perform a special work, and appointed their times…and their future glory and exaltation is secured unto them; and that is what I understand by the doctrine of election spoken of by the Apostle Paul and other sacred writers: For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of His Son, that he might be the first-born among many brethren.
Such were called and chosen and elected of God to perform a certain work at a certain time of the world’s history and in due time he fitted them for that work.[ix]
This is an amazing promise that should give parents of “elect” albeit wayward children cause to patiently persevere and hope that their children will yet remember who they are and rise to the stature of their premortal greatness.
The Noble and Great Ones
Pursuant to the perfect foreknowledge of God, our children were likely assigned family placement, birth time, location, and mortal opportunities according to their strengths and weaknesses. According to many sources, they were among the noble and great ones, who were shown to their forefather, Abraham.
Now the Lord had shown unto me, Abraham, the intelligences that were organized before the world was; and among all these there were many of the noble and great ones; And God saw these souls that they were good, and he stood in the midst of them, and he said: These I will make my rulers; for he stood among those that were spirits, and he saw that they were good.[x]
Speaking of our children’s premortal nobleness and greatness, President Spencer W. Kimball said to the youth, “The prophets in this dispensation have taught us that special spirits were reserved to come forth at this time in this last dispensation. You are among those very special spirits!“[xi]
If you have a wayward child, this may be hard to believe. You might ask, “Was my troubled child included in the prophet’s declaration?” Yes! Speaking to the youth of the Church, Elder H. Burke Peterson said, “My dear friends, you are a royal generation. You were preserved to come to the earth in this time for a special purpose. Not just a few of you, but all of you.”[xii]
The Noble and Great Ones will do the Work of Redemption
What was the premortal work that our children did so well that caused them to be distinguished above the majority of the hosts of heaven?
Redemption is not a work of God, it is the work of God, and therefore it is the preeminent work of all celestial beings-those who are or would be gods. Former Brigham Young University professor, M. Catherine Thomas, wrote:
Out of all of Heavenly Father’s spirit children, a smaller group distinguished itself by its exceeding faith in the Lord Jesus Christ during the conflicts that occurred incident to the war in heaven. Those who were valiant in these conflicts, and in other ways also, demonstrated both their abilities and their desires to become actively involved in the cosmic work of redemption through the great atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ. The thing that characterizes the Gods and those who aspire to godhood is the love of the work of redemption; that is, nurturing spirit children through the first estate of premortality, then leading them through a mortal probation, and finally raising them to the level of their parent Gods….the great work of the Gods is family work-the raising and nurturing of children and the redemption of families to be sealed together for all eternity. We cannot comprehend the cosmic proportions of the love and the infinite investment of labor and grace that go into this magnificent work. You and I, as members of the literal house of Israel and of the Church of Jesus Christ, were called in the premortal world to participate in that work, everything else being trivial in comparison. Redemption is not just one of the things going on in the universe; it is the thing. That work of redemption is the work to which the premortal covenant people, the house of Israel, were called, and it was to take precedence over all other work and to subordinate all other work to itself.[xiii]
Although they are proportionally few in number, today’s youth comprise an unparalleled army in the earth’s history. Elder Gene R. Cook said, “I salute a royal generation, the greatest generation of youth in number and quality to ever live on the face of the earth. The amount of good that is being done by you is immeasurable. Your influence will be felt worldwide before you have finished your stay on earth.”[xiv]
When we consider the proportionately small number of Israelites who have been found, gathered or born into the Church, we are awed by our children’s apparent premortal stature. Clearly, each is one in thousands. If the Lord’s intention is the redemption of all his children, no child’s birth into a Latter-day Saint home is a mistake or a roll of the dice.
The Work of Redemption within Families
God organizes his children into saving relationships so that the weak might be nurtured by the strong. That fact is most evident in families. God’s divine positioning often calls for weak children to be placed with strong parents, strong children to be placed with weak parents, or strong individuals to marry into weak families. Why? To do the work of redemption.
Catherine Thomas, said, “God may place spiritually challenging children in homes of spiritual and conscientious parents for their mutual benefit.”[xv] Carlford Broderick, an LDS marriage and family therapist, wrote:
My experience in various church callings and in my profession as a family therapist has convinced me that God actively intervenes in some destructive lineages, assigning a valiant spirit to break the chain of destructiveness in such families. Although these children may suffer innocently as victims of violence, neglect, and exploitation, through the grace of God some find the strength to “metabolize” the poison within themselves, refusing to pass it on to future generations. Before them were generations of destructive pain; after them the line flows clear and pure. Their children and children’s children will call them blessed. In suffering innocently that others might not suffer, such persons, in some degree, become as “saviors on Mount Zion” by helping to bring salvation to a lineage.[xvi]
Perspective on the Cosmic War for Souls
Are we prepared to disregard the volume of Restoration literature that pertains to redemption work in the spirit world, the foreknowledge and mercy of God, and the far-reaching effects of the Atonement of Jesus Christ? If so, we do both God and Christ a disservice by imagining limits to their ability to save. To gain perspective, let us review some truths.
Our children are ancient souls, who practiced righteousness and did the work of redemption over vast periods of time.During that enormous duration, the focus of their attention was to become like their heavenly parents by coming to earth, gaining a body, achieving a glorious resurrection, and earning exaltation.
Our children bring with them mature gospel knowledge. It may be buried deep in their souls, but it is there just the same. The Fall may have caused them temporary amnesia, but God has not forgotten who they are or what they did. He said, “I will not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands.”[xvii]
Of course, neither has Satan forgotten our children. These are they who helped Michael cast out the devil and his angels from heaven, causing Satan to swear in his wrath that he would destroy them in the flesh. And for good reason. Satan knew if our children were allowed to continue their premortal work, they would conquer him again and cast him into outer darkness forever.
Therefore, the war in heaven goes on, and this earth is its frontline. Hence, while the world is merely tempted,[xviii] our children are viciously attacked.[xix] Why are our children so ruthlessly confronted? Brigham Young had the answer:
God never bestows upon his people, or upon an individual, superior blessings without a severe trial to prove them, to prove that individual, or that people, to see whether they will keep their covenants with him, and keep in remembrance what he has shown them. Then the greater the vision [or blessings], the greater the display of the power of the enemy. So when individuals are blessed with visions, revelations, and great manifestations, look out, then the Devil is nigh you, and you will be tempted in proportion to the visions, revelation, or manifestation you have received.[xx]
Our children’s premortal nobility, righteousness and exceedingly good works warranted extraordinary blessings and opportunities in this life-royal birth, immediate access to gospel blessings, and so forth. But these blessings carried a price. The adversary would attack in proportion to their blessings, and once seemingly invincible souls, weakened by the Fall, would now be more susceptible to cutting down and wounding.
Wounded, But Not Defeated
The Book of Mormon contains a possible latter-day parallel and a promise. Imagine our children like the ancient Stripling Warriors, who, like their Nephite counterparts, are called upon to defend and save the kingdom.
Premortally, our children were “exceedingly valiant for courage, and also for strength and activity; but behold, this was not all–they were men [and women] who were true at all times in whatsoever thing they were entrusted. Yea, they were men [and women] of truth and soberness, for they had been taught to keep the commandments of God and to walk uprightly before him.”[xxi]
Now, having forgotten all, our children have come to earth to be born of goodly mothers and fathers,[xxii] who try to teach them the gospel of Jesus Christ and prepare them to face the battle for the kingdom. Here, then, is an important lesson: Although every one of them is wounded in the battle with “many wounds,” “not one soul of them did perish.”[xxiii]
Although the comparison between the Stripling Warriors and latter-day youth has limitations, it nevertheless might give parents reason to hope and persevere knowing that perishing is not in the Lord’s design. President J. Reuben Clark said, “I believe that our Heavenly Father wants to save every one of his children.”[xxiv]
Divine Positioning at Work
One thing is certain: Parents are not cursed with wayward children; parents are called by God to rear and redeem these precious souls, in partnership with Jesus Christ. What we are experiencing is a trust. Therefore, we become to them “Saviors on Mount Zion.”[xxv]
That they have been sent to our family is evidence of God’s divine positioning at work, and the purpose of that divine positioning is to redeem those for whom we have a responsibility. Because God called us to this work, he will make us equal to the challenge. President Hugh B. Brown’s apostolic blessing and promise to youth leaders might be applied to latter-day parents:
God help us all that we may do our part to prepare for that future, ominous though it may be. I leave a blessing with you…. From my heart I pray God to bless and guide you as you undertake to help to guide the youth of the Church, the reserves of the army of the Lord. I pray that God will bless you in your homes, in your work, in your play, and that He will give you faith and courage and fortitude to make you equal to your tasks. I pronounce this blessing upon you and promise that these things will be yours.[xxvi]
[i] Moses 2:14.
ii] D&C 93:30.
iii] For example, see 1 Corinthians 10:13; Romans 8:28; Ether 12:27
iv] Neal A. Maxwell, “These Are Your Days,” New Era, Jan 1985
v] D&C 138:57
vi] Ezra Taft Benson, “In His Steps,” Ensign, September 1988; Ezra Taft Benson, “You are a Marked Generation,” Ensign, April 1987
vii] D&C 121:25
viii] Romans 8:29
ix] George D. Watt, ed., Journal of Discourses, vol 23:186-187, emphasis added
x] Abraham 3:22-23
xi] Spencer W. Kimball, “In Love and Power and without Fear,” New Era, July 1981
xii] H. Burke Peterson, “Your Special Purpose,” New Era, October 2001
xiii] M. Catherine Thomas, “Alma the Younger, Part 1,” Neal A. Maxwell Institute for Religious Scholarship
xiv] Gene R. Cook, “The Seat Next to You,” New Era, October 1983
xv] M. Catherine Thomas, “Alma the Younger, Part 1,” Neal A. Maxwell Institute for Religious Scholarship
xvi] Carlfred Broderick, “I Have a Question,” Ensign, August 1986, p.38-9
xvii] Isaiah 49:15-16
xviii] D&C 29:39
xix] D&C 76:28-29
xx] Brigham Young, Discourses of Brigham Young, p. 338
xxi] Alma 53:20-21
xxii] Alma 56:47-48
xxiii] Alma 57:25
xxiv] J. Reuben Clark, Jr, Conference Report, 3 Oct. 1953, p.84
xxv] Mark E. Petersen, Conference Report, October 1959, p.14: “I would like to talk with you about your ministry among your own children, because you are ministers of the Lord unto your children, and if you will do your duty by your children, you will be as saviors on Mount Zion to them….”
xxvi] Hugh B. Brown, The Abundant Life, p.188
Maryann TaylorFebruary 1, 2018
To Donna--Please, please do not feel that you have failed. There are MANY parents, including me, who have children who have left church activity. The fact that you continue to love and pray for your son is a wonderful thing! Remember that he is in Heavenly Father's hands and your son may yet come back. I am sure the Lord is pleased with your love and prayers for your son. There are prophets in the scriptures and also in our day who had children who rebelled and fell away. After all is said and done, we each much make our own choices, but don't give up, and don't blame yourself!
DonnaJanuary 27, 2018
This feels like confirmation that I have failed my oldest child. He always was/is a very headstrong person. I tried to teach him but he's chosen another path. I pray every day that he will find his way back to Christ. But in the meantime it's very stressful on the family.