While serving as group facilitators for the church’s addiction recovery program at BYU Hawaii, at the beginning of each session there would be different types of introductions. Some would say “I am an alcoholic.” Others would say “I am a drug addict.” Others would say “I’m addicted to pornography.” Others would simply say “I’m an addict.” Then we would hear someone say, “I’m a recovering addict.” Once I heard a talk where the speaker said, “I’m a recovering sinner.” Aren’t we all? And it seems to me that the extra word “recovering” means there’s hope.
At the beginning of recovery, one of the biggest hurdles to overcome is the feeling of intense shame. Sometimes before the addiction recovery group, we might see someone who was lingering in the foyer, reluctant to come into the room where we were meeting. It was their first time and they felt so ashamed.
There is a difference between good guilt and bad guilt. Bad guilt is that sense of shame. It’s the feeling that “this is in my DNA”, “this is so ingrained in me I cannot get rid of it,” “my addiction has rewired my brain,” “I am lost and so alone,” “I have no hope.” This message comes from the adversary who would have us think there is never hope. He wants us to be as miserable as he is. [Note: addiction can rewire the brain, but the neuroplasticity of the brain allows it to recover and rewire back into a healthy form.[i]]
Good guilt is a sense of remorse we’re feeling that we have disappointed the Lord. Good guilt leads to repentance, it leads to making a change in our lives. Genuine remorse turns us toward the Savior. There is always hope with the atonement of Jesus Christ. In step 2 of the addiction recovery program the key principle is “Come to believe that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health.”
There is always hope! Pres. Boyd K. Packer said, “[there is] no habit, no addiction, no rebellion, no transgression, no offense exempted from the promise of complete forgiveness.” (Ensign, Nov. 1995, 19). Elder Jeffrey R. Holland said, “…I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines.” (“The Laborers in the Vineyard,” April 2012 General Conference). I have seen the cleansing and healing power of the atonement of Jesus Christ work in so many lives.
There are many different coping skills available to address addiction: the Twelve Steps in the Addiction Recovery Program; the Life Helps section on the church website; different styles and methods of counseling; and many sources online and in literature provide tools to address addiction. There are more methods for addressing addiction than can be listed in a “Minute.” The key is to find one that works for you, then work at it. The Lord will bless you efforts!
An important principle that can sometimes be difficult to learn is that “relapse is part of recovery.” When people relapse, they feel again a deep sense of shame. The important part is to recognize the thoughts and feelings and situations that led to a relapse. Then, when a relapse happens, you can turn it into a learning experience. When those thoughts and feelings and situations appear again, a person can already have prepared healthy alternative actions and no longer be trapped. Learning to turn to healthy alternatives takes time and practice. Many addictions have held us hostage for several years, therefore we can take the time necessary to patiently and persistently learn and apply the skills to manage and overcome the addiction. There is always hope!
May the Lord continue to bless each one of us as we continue in our own recovery and feel the blessings of the gospel of Jesus Christ every day.
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