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In this episode, I interview Mari Lee, LMFT, CSAT-S, CPTT-S, CMBAT-S on the topic of toxic giving and taking in relationships. She also wrote a helpful blog post addressing this topic here:

In this episode, we discuss:

1.  The differences between givers and takers.
2. What a healthy balance of giving and taking looks like.
3. What causes people to become toxic givers and takers
4. How the giver and taker dynamic impacts recovery for trauma and sexual addiction.
5. What needs to happen with givers and takers to create change.
6. Specific tools you can use to change these dynamics in your relationships. 

Mari A. Lee is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor, a Certified Partners Trauma Therapist and Supervisor, a Certified Mindfulness Based Addiction Therapist and Supervisor, and the founder of Growth Counseling Services, a private recovery practice located in Glendora, California. Mari is recognized for her clinical work with sex addicts, traumatically betrayed spouses, and couples healing from infidelity.

Additionally, Mari is a trusted coach with 30 years of business experience. She is the founder of, “The Counselor’s Coach” and provides coaching and consulting, clinical materials, and dedicated support to therapists across the U.S. and around the world. Mari’s specialized coaching is focused on helping therapists create and launch multiple income streams beyond the one-on-one clinical hour.Mari is also a popular national speaker and presents across the country on the topic of sex and love addiction and betrayal trauma. She is the co-author of the bestselling book, “Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts”, and she is the author of, “Healing Betrayal”, and “The Creative Clinician”, and a contributing author to “Behavioral Addictions: Criteria, Evidence and Treatment.”

Her next book, “The Gift in the Wound: Stories of Resiliency and Hope” will be out in 2020.To learn more about Mari’s clinical work visit: www.GrowthCounselingServices.comTo schedule coaching session with Mari visit:

The Illuminate Podcast is hosted by Geoff Steurer, MS, LMFT and founder of LifeStar of St. George, Utah, a treatment program for couples healing from the impact of pornography and sexual addiction. Learn more at

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Geoff has also created audio and video courses to help support individuals and couples in marriage, addiction, and betrayal trauma recovery at