Bottom line: we all experience fear.
It is an inherent part of being human and going through this mortal life.
Also, fear isn’t all bad—it serves as a natural defense mechanism, protecting us from potential dangers and helping us to stay safe. However, when we allow fear to control us, it holds us back from achieving our goals and living the life we are seeking.
By defining our fears and facing them head on, we can overcome self-imposed limitations and move closer to our goals and objectives.
One way to define and confront our fears is through a process called “fear-setting” (popularized by entrepreneur and author Tim Ferriss). This practice involves fully envisioning and writing down fears in detail, as well as considering the potential consequences of giving in to these fears and not taking action. By doing this, we can gain a better understanding of what truly makes us afraid and begin to identify ways to mitigate or manage those fears. In fear-setting, you specifically address the following areas:
Define: List the worst things that could happen
Prevent: List how you can stop the above bad things
Repair: If the worst happens, list how to repair each bad thing
Benefits: List all possible benefits from taking this action
6 Months: List the costs inaction during this time
1 Year: List the costs inaction during this time
3 Years: List the costs inaction during this time
When I was younger, I was deathly afraid of public speaking. I worried about misspeaking, talking too fast or too slow, and just not connecting with my audience. Through fear-setting, I realized that my fear stemmed from a belief that I might be judged or criticized by others if I make a mistake. By first acknowledging and defining this , I had an opportunity to consider the potential consequences of not speaking (e.g., missing out on opportunities to share your ideas or make a difference in my career, congregation, and community). By weighing the potential consequences of inaction, I gained the motivation and courage to take action despite my fears. In regards to public speaking, I decided to seek out opportunities to practice and improve my speaking and presenting skills on smaller audiences with less risk and by creating a system to help me prepare more thoroughly before I present.
In addition to helping us take action, fear-setting can also help us to separate what we can control from what we cannot. By fully defining our fears, we can often identify the underlying causes and recognize that many of our fears are based on assumptions or beliefs that may not be accurate. By acknowledging and addressing these underlying causes, we can gain a greater sense of control over our and be better equipped to manage them.
For example, many people are afraid of starting a business because they fear failure. Through fear-setting, they may realize that their fear is based on a belief that they are not capable of success or that they do not have the necessary skills or resources to succeed. , they can then consider the potential consequences of not taking action. In this case, the consequence may be missing out on the opportunity to pursue their passion and build a fulfilling career.
By acknowledging and addressing these underlying causes, we gain a greater sense of control and be better equipped to manage our fears. By defining our fears and using the process of fear-setting, we can overcome self-imposed limitations and take positive action towards our goals. By fully envisioning and writing down our fears in detail, we gain a better understanding of what we are truly afraid of and identify ways to mitigate or manage those fears. By weighing the potential consequences of inaction and separating what we can control from what we cannot, we can gain the motivation and courage to face, and overcome, our fears.
As Eleanor Roosevelt so succinctly shared, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
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