I am a creator.

It took me a long time to embrace that label.  It made me nervous. I can’t draw worth a darn. I faked my way through being the drum major of the high school marching band. (The previous drum major had perfect pitch. I don’t. Understatement.) Though I have had two solo shows and curated another…I still twitch when I use the term “artist” about myself. 

But, a few years ago, I heard Elder Uchtdorf’s talk about happiness… and his thoughts on creativity struck me.  
“The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.”— Elder Uchtdorf

At the time I heard that, I was in the middle of creating a business… which means creating a culture, and processes, and a team, and relationships, and trust, and a brand, and and and. The list goes on. But, I didn’t know that COUNTED.

After I left that business I had an opportunity to evaluate what I wanted to do next. I was also in the throes of creating a family (which also needs a culture, processes, team, relationships, trust, etc.). And lots of career advice people kept repeating a very similar refrain— when you are in the flow, when time passes easily, when you hop out of bed to do it (well, not sure about that as a very non-morning person), when you feel energized— you are in your BIG YES. And that made sense to me… but I found another layer of doctrine that made it even more meaningful to me. 

The doctrine:

“In the ongoing process of creation— our creation and the creation of all that surrounds us— our heavenly parents are preparing a lovely tapestry with exquisite colors and patterns and hues.” —Elder Jeffrey R. Holland 

Isn’t that amazing!!! 

(We know that Jesus led the creation. And I am not trying to minimize His role at all. But I think of when I do my beaded art projects… there are different people who play different roles. And, of course, since Christ and His Parents are united, then it is not a competition… even in our hearts.) 

I have always loved creating spaces and to think of my Mother in Heaven also working to create the earth life around us… it makes my soul happy. Frankly, if I were a God, I would have been in charge of everything in the exquisite coral to salmon range. We are talking sunsets and monkey bums and the stem of lotus flowers and Japanese maples in fall and flamingos. (If you have seen our book, “A Girl’s Guide to Heavenly Mother”— well, that cover color didn’t happen on accident.) Right now, I just force my family to live and breathe in those shades everyday.

As an artist (twitch), I especially appreciate the quote. To understand that when I am acting as a creator… when I am planning my art shows, when I am writing books, when I am creating my home culture, when I am telling a story, when I am designing my textiles— that I am also practicing my particular kind of nascent creation skills. I am practicing becoming like my Mother. 

But, as we read earlier, bringing ANYTHING into existences is an act of creation. And creation is a potent power. We can change a mood, we can start a movement, we can create jobs, we can create space for others, we can create friendships, we can create opportunities for our kids… we can, literally, create anything. 

Also, destruction is inherent in creation. Sometimes we have to destroy who we are or where we are to create again. This is common in nature— the shell around a seed has to die before it can be grow a new tree. A baby chick has to break the shell in order to begin her life. What do we need to break? (Or let die?) I can think of systems that need breaking and habits I need to let die. For me, it’s an interesting thought to consider. 

I listened to a podcast recently with Diana Chapman. She talked about how she and her husband had to face that their marriage was dead, and then decide if they wanted to begin again in that framework or change to something different. Three times they went through this process of destruction and creation— and are still happily, passionately married. But they had to choose to create anew. 

And, of course, the greatest creation we will ever do is our own life. We decide what we want it to be filled with and, in turn, who we become. 

We know Heavenly Father and Jesus love us. We know we can pray to Them for help and guidance. That has been an assurance my whole life.

But, through restored doctrine, I now also know Heavenly Mother loves me too. She can be involved in that process as well. According to President Harold B. Lee, a friend of his was making a decision to continue an addiction… and then he felt a voice like a mother’s calling him by name— and telling him to cut it out.

And, of course, it makes sense. 

“Do you think our Heavenly Parents want us to succeed? Yes! They want us to succeed gloriously! And do you think They will help us? Absolutely!” — President Jean B. Bingham

So, if you knew you could reach your Heavenly Mother and that She would help you, would that change anything for you? 

I get asked a lot about how to reach Her when President Hinckley has advised that we don’t pray to Her. I think She is a god and that means She is infinite with infinite touch points. For me, I feel Her when I create. I have friends who feel Her when they are in nature, when they whip up delicious meals (this could never be me), or when they are supporting their sisterhood. But, whatever way you reach to Her, there is a place to meet you. 

“On a particularly difficult day—or sometimes a series of difficult days—what would this world’s inhabitants not pay to know that heavenly parents are reaching across those same streams and mountains and deserts, anxious to hold them close?”— Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

I am coming into a new season in my life. I have significant decisions to make about the life I am creating. This is true for all of us, always. But, today, I am so very grateful to know more of my Heavenly Mother… knowledge that is a star for who I want to become.

And, p.s. My beaded art piece was just accepted into the LDS Church International Art Competition and will be displayed at Temple Square at the Church History Museum March-December 2022. I just might be an artist after all.