It's easy to generalize. My daughter was divorced just last month, a no-fault divorce that took 3 months to accomplish in our state. She had been married only 3 years (temple marriage), no children. Her husband left the church and then left her. There was no fighting, no problems that she knew of in the marriage until he suddenly left (yes, turns out he was having an affair & had secret issues with porn). He had no inclination to work on the marriage--he just was gone, living 2000 miles away. She tried everything she could, but he would not respond. A quick no-fault divorce is enabling her to rebuild her life immediately. She is back at school, she is able to attend a YSA ward instead of being in limbo for years. I do not think the fault is with the method of divorce, it is with the people who marry and do not take their covenants seriously. Back in the day when divorce was difficult, many people--mostly women--suffered the consequences. Many were simply abandoned and were not able to get on with their lives. It is not as simple as you make it seem.
Anonymous in CaliforniaAugust 18, 2014
Give me a break. My marriage was not broken by California's no-fault laws, it was broken by a man who repeatedly broke his temple covenants. Under the old laws, the divorce would have been a long, drawn-out, public spectacle. Under no-fault, no one had to drag anyone through the mud, the children were spared much of the drama, and the pain of divorce was greatly reduced. And not one of my now adult children has ever failed in school, been arrested, used drugs, been molested, become a teen parent, or any of the other statistical nightmares that are supposed to happen to children of divorce. Divorce is never anyone's first choice, but when it's a necessity, there's no reason to make it even harder by harsh, archaic, divorce laws.
MBBAugust 18, 2014
I too was divorced when my son was 4. It ruined his life. Remarriage brings problems with ex-spouses on both sides, step-children, and financial difficulties. I do not believe divorce is the answer. People should fight to keep their family together if possible, except in cases where there is abuse.
leahAugust 18, 2014
Yep. I can concur. I was divorced 22 years ago when our children ranged from age 8 to 18. We seemed to have a "good" reason to divorce. I wish we had stopped fighting and taken care of our kids. Their lives were devastated. None go to church, only half still speak to me - their mother. The legacy of estrangement and lack of forgiveness repeats in their lives Family resources went to hubbys new wife and step kids and my kids were impoverished due to lack of parental support. Back then, it seemed the only thing to do. Looking back, it was the stupidest decision of our lives. - and before he died, my ex agreed - it was a mistake to divorce. But who listens? Too many people think how we thought and make that stupid choice.
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ktn August 18, 2014
It's easy to generalize. My daughter was divorced just last month, a no-fault divorce that took 3 months to accomplish in our state. She had been married only 3 years (temple marriage), no children. Her husband left the church and then left her. There was no fighting, no problems that she knew of in the marriage until he suddenly left (yes, turns out he was having an affair & had secret issues with porn). He had no inclination to work on the marriage--he just was gone, living 2000 miles away. She tried everything she could, but he would not respond. A quick no-fault divorce is enabling her to rebuild her life immediately. She is back at school, she is able to attend a YSA ward instead of being in limbo for years. I do not think the fault is with the method of divorce, it is with the people who marry and do not take their covenants seriously. Back in the day when divorce was difficult, many people--mostly women--suffered the consequences. Many were simply abandoned and were not able to get on with their lives. It is not as simple as you make it seem.
Anonymous in CaliforniaAugust 18, 2014
Give me a break. My marriage was not broken by California's no-fault laws, it was broken by a man who repeatedly broke his temple covenants. Under the old laws, the divorce would have been a long, drawn-out, public spectacle. Under no-fault, no one had to drag anyone through the mud, the children were spared much of the drama, and the pain of divorce was greatly reduced. And not one of my now adult children has ever failed in school, been arrested, used drugs, been molested, become a teen parent, or any of the other statistical nightmares that are supposed to happen to children of divorce. Divorce is never anyone's first choice, but when it's a necessity, there's no reason to make it even harder by harsh, archaic, divorce laws.
MBBAugust 18, 2014
I too was divorced when my son was 4. It ruined his life. Remarriage brings problems with ex-spouses on both sides, step-children, and financial difficulties. I do not believe divorce is the answer. People should fight to keep their family together if possible, except in cases where there is abuse.
leahAugust 18, 2014
Yep. I can concur. I was divorced 22 years ago when our children ranged from age 8 to 18. We seemed to have a "good" reason to divorce. I wish we had stopped fighting and taken care of our kids. Their lives were devastated. None go to church, only half still speak to me - their mother. The legacy of estrangement and lack of forgiveness repeats in their lives Family resources went to hubbys new wife and step kids and my kids were impoverished due to lack of parental support. Back then, it seemed the only thing to do. Looking back, it was the stupidest decision of our lives. - and before he died, my ex agreed - it was a mistake to divorce. But who listens? Too many people think how we thought and make that stupid choice.
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