While I really like the first part of this, I couldn't get myself to click "next" to read the rest of the article because of the last sentence: "Teenagers who are years away from marriage have no business daydreaming about being in love." It seems that most teenagers DO dream about love, and that's completely normal.
Abegail MartesAugust 15, 2013
Thank you so much for this! I've enjoyed reading and learning from your article :)
MayAugust 14, 2013
Thanks for echoing what I've felt for a long time - that we choose to love.
YoMamma'sLDSAugust 14, 2013
We've been married 33 years. Each of us came to a point during our marriage, though at different times, that we would continue to love our eternal companion. Just because we were "in love" when we married, it did not follow we would stay in love as time passed. Each of us chose the other for pretty pragmatic reasons. For my part, I had observed him to be a man of integrity, a man who kept his word, who was true to the covenants he had made. It helped that, of all the other single young men in our stake, he was the only man who'd read J. R. Tolkien's, "Lord of the Rings" trilogy. And, in a young adult activity during part of which we were paired off for a "Trust Walk" in which we each took turns leading the other on a blind walk, through some woods, on the edge of a park. While other pairs were doing what they could to trip their partner, thinking it was all so funny, he and I were careful with one another - careful the blinded partner didn't trip or fall or walk into a tree. We were the only ones to treat the other carefully and with respect, unwilling to have a laugh at someone else's expense. Both of us talk about that Young Adult activity as one of the moments in which we saw in the other a quality we wanted in a spouse. But I want to close with my first thought, that, in spite of our compatability, and in spite of making love a choice from the very beginning of our relationship, each of us reached a point in our eternal marriage where we had to - HAD to - choose again to love the other, to stay in love. I'm really grateful he chose me over all the other choices he could have made, and that I have had the opportunity to love him, to continue to choose to love him and only him. I think that to choose one's eternal love by making them a choice, by deciding to love or deciding to permit one's self to fall in love, is one of the few times we truly exercise our agency. My husband was a free and deliberate choice on my part. I am grateful that I was, and continue to be, a free agent. Free to love my choice.
A guy.August 14, 2013
I will agree with Kathryn, that is a HUGE concept people miss and don't get, and yes it could change the world. however I Highly disagree with the statement that "flirting is as easy to spot as a black spot on a white t-shirt" umm no, no its not. lol if it was more people would be married and in relationships. and number 4, I don't even know how or where to start to comment as to how incorrect that is. whatever research you read needs to be burned and the authors discredited. because that's not even close to true. the rest of this article is absolutely solid and right on the money.
Renaissance NerdAugust 13, 2013
All of it true, but not confined to falling in love. Human history is an endless series of religious, philosophical and political excuses for our bad behavior. We natural men (and women) desire so badly to not be responsible for our actions that we'll believe just about anything to get there.
Renaissance NerdAugust 13, 2013
All of it true, but not confined to falling in love. Human history is an endless series of religious, philosophical and political excuses for our bad behavior. We natural men (and women) desire so badly to not be responsible for our actions that we'll believe just about anything to get there.
KathrynAugust 13, 2013
If more people realized that love truly is a choice, it could change the world. Thanks for the great insights!
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CBAugust 19, 2013
While I really like the first part of this, I couldn't get myself to click "next" to read the rest of the article because of the last sentence: "Teenagers who are years away from marriage have no business daydreaming about being in love." It seems that most teenagers DO dream about love, and that's completely normal.
Abegail MartesAugust 15, 2013
Thank you so much for this! I've enjoyed reading and learning from your article :)
MayAugust 14, 2013
Thanks for echoing what I've felt for a long time - that we choose to love.
YoMamma'sLDSAugust 14, 2013
We've been married 33 years. Each of us came to a point during our marriage, though at different times, that we would continue to love our eternal companion. Just because we were "in love" when we married, it did not follow we would stay in love as time passed. Each of us chose the other for pretty pragmatic reasons. For my part, I had observed him to be a man of integrity, a man who kept his word, who was true to the covenants he had made. It helped that, of all the other single young men in our stake, he was the only man who'd read J. R. Tolkien's, "Lord of the Rings" trilogy. And, in a young adult activity during part of which we were paired off for a "Trust Walk" in which we each took turns leading the other on a blind walk, through some woods, on the edge of a park. While other pairs were doing what they could to trip their partner, thinking it was all so funny, he and I were careful with one another - careful the blinded partner didn't trip or fall or walk into a tree. We were the only ones to treat the other carefully and with respect, unwilling to have a laugh at someone else's expense. Both of us talk about that Young Adult activity as one of the moments in which we saw in the other a quality we wanted in a spouse. But I want to close with my first thought, that, in spite of our compatability, and in spite of making love a choice from the very beginning of our relationship, each of us reached a point in our eternal marriage where we had to - HAD to - choose again to love the other, to stay in love. I'm really grateful he chose me over all the other choices he could have made, and that I have had the opportunity to love him, to continue to choose to love him and only him. I think that to choose one's eternal love by making them a choice, by deciding to love or deciding to permit one's self to fall in love, is one of the few times we truly exercise our agency. My husband was a free and deliberate choice on my part. I am grateful that I was, and continue to be, a free agent. Free to love my choice.
A guy.August 14, 2013
I will agree with Kathryn, that is a HUGE concept people miss and don't get, and yes it could change the world. however I Highly disagree with the statement that "flirting is as easy to spot as a black spot on a white t-shirt" umm no, no its not. lol if it was more people would be married and in relationships. and number 4, I don't even know how or where to start to comment as to how incorrect that is. whatever research you read needs to be burned and the authors discredited. because that's not even close to true. the rest of this article is absolutely solid and right on the money.
Renaissance NerdAugust 13, 2013
All of it true, but not confined to falling in love. Human history is an endless series of religious, philosophical and political excuses for our bad behavior. We natural men (and women) desire so badly to not be responsible for our actions that we'll believe just about anything to get there.
Renaissance NerdAugust 13, 2013
All of it true, but not confined to falling in love. Human history is an endless series of religious, philosophical and political excuses for our bad behavior. We natural men (and women) desire so badly to not be responsible for our actions that we'll believe just about anything to get there.
KathrynAugust 13, 2013
If more people realized that love truly is a choice, it could change the world. Thanks for the great insights!
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