Whatever you do, do NOT marry him until he has overcome his bitterness and is truly ready for a committed relationship. If he is unwilling to get some counseling, you cannot heal him, and I would move on. Otherwise, you will spend your life suffering as a result of his suffering.
Someone who has been as damaged as this boyfriend is so busy protecting themself from further harm that they often don't have the ability to form a healthy relationship. If you accept him as he is today then he will see no reason to change. He needs help in seeing that he is passing on the damage done to him, thus making him an abuser. He needs this help before your relationship continues on, or it will be a case of "what you see is what you get." I assure you, marrying him now would be the same as signing an agreement to spend the rest of your life as an abuse victim.
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