I felt some empathy with this woman as I have something similar going on.My husband's sister has an undiagnosed mental illness,2 of her 3 children have little to do with her,all her family find her extremely difficult to deal with.My husband has always been close to his sister and she didn't like it when we got married or looked after 2 of her children as they were being neglected.She has told me she hates me,walks across the road when she sees me and many other things.But she is my sister in law and is mentally ill,what would the Saviour do?He is the person she phones when she needs something even though she has other family members.At times I find it extremely hard.My husband puts me first and has told her that I'm more important to him than she is.It's true that if he didn't go out of his way to spend time with her then she would have no one and I understand that.It's a very difficult situation and we try our best.
My mother-in-law was so much like this. She thought my husband could do no wrong and she thought my husband should be the one to help her and not anyone else. Her problem was a control issue. To say it is the wife’s problem is rediculous. If she has a husband, two grown children close and could afford public transportation or even better yet just take your own car to the airport and then it is there when you need a ride home. Her kids probably won’t come and pick her up because they are tired or he meddling and demanding ways. Somehow, the husband needs to get control of sister or they could have many more years of her trying to control them and if it is because he wants to get away from his wife she has bigger problems than she thinks she does. I’d check out if he is using his sister for an excuse to get away. I just don’t think we know all of the story and neither does the wife.
I don't feel the problem is the wife; it sounds like the husband doesn't know how to set good boundaries with his sister. They planned to go to a concert/performance and then the sister demanded she come and pick her up?? What about her children or Uber, etc...I agree this is an issue between the husband and wife but he needs to learn to set better boundaries with family....
From what little we get from this letter, the sister sounds like an emotional bully/blackmailer. She will get her way or else. You will do what she says or else. Everyone around her learns it's easier to simply obey than to not. I have a feeling that the husband learned as a child to obey -- or else. Were they raised in a home where girls were always right and boys were expected to obey? If so, husband and sister both need to be re-educated.
Very interesting analysis, and comforting solution.
My question, Could the problem also be wife is jealous??
Perhaps when husband was young he was told to take care of his
sister? It does not sound that he is a neglectful husband in other
areas. Why would something this trivial become a problem??
I feel she has issues she has not confronted.
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