In my teens, I read In His Steps by Charles M. Sheldon, 1857-1946. Pastor Sheldon was a Congregational minister from Topeka, Kansas. It was published in 1896 and has sold fifty million copies. The book is fiction but perhaps autobiographical as the main character is a pastor of a small-town like the author. The story opens as the pastor, Reverend Henry Maxwell, is preparing his weekly sermon. He hears a ring at the door and looks down from his second-story office to see a homeless man who says he needs a job. (Note that he looked down on him.) Reverend Maxwell says he doesn’t know of any jobs in town and returns to his unfinished sermon.
On Sunday, during Reverend Maxwell’s sermon, this same man walks to “the open space in front of the pulpit,” and presents the facts of his destitute situation and how no one in town helped him. He accuses the congregation of apathy and not living up to the Christian behaviors they profess. Then he collapses and dies a few days later in Reverend Maxwell’s home.
On the following Sunday, Reverend Maxwell, moved by regret and guilt, challenges his congregation not to do anything without first asking, “What would Jesus do?” The rest of the book follows different parishioners as they accept the challenge and have life-changing experiences.
Shortly after reading the book, my Sunday School teacher, Brother Marsden, taught a lesson on the Golden Rule: “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them” (Matthew 7:12). He challenged the class to do what Jesus would do in the everyday circumstances of our lives. I remember he became frustrated with me because I said it was impossible to know what Jesus would do. Sometimes he healed; sometimes he taught; sometimes he forgave; sometimes he cleansed the temple; sometimes he fed thousands, sometimes he called the sinner to repentance; sometimes he chastened with harsh words.
Brother Marsden acknowledged that we can’t heal, teach, forgive, cleanse, feed, call to repentance, or chasten with the omniscience and power of Jesus Christ. Then I remember him saying that the commandment is in the Bible. Jesus said it, and it’s a foundational principle. I’ve thought about this moment in time for many years and have come to the conclusion that there are at least three layers of “do unto others.”
The first level of “do unto others” should be bedrock in Christian communities, but it isn’t always. Recently, I called technical support to get help with my computer. The recorded message about waiting for the next available agent ended with the words: “Our agents are here to help. Please treat them with kindness.” Kindness should be a given, not something of which the public needs to be reminded.
We should obey traffic laws with kindness because we want everyone on the road to get to their destinations safely. We should be kind to the teenagers working at fast-food restaurants who are responsible enough to get a job, come work, and try to get your order completed correctly and quickly. We should allow all clerks and government workers the latitude of having a bad day and treat them as we would want to be treated even if they are abrupt or cranky. Kindness is never ever-rated.
The next level of “do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” is “do unto others as they would be done by.” Not everyone prefers the same things you prefer. If I buy you my favorite candy bar, I am doing unto you as I would want to be done by. But if I find out what your favorite candy bar is, I am doing unto you as you would be done by. Honoring a person’s likes and dislikes communicates more than being kind. It shows love.
I have found in marriage that I can be kind and show love to Richard in things that matter to him. Two examples: He thinks if he isn’t ten minutes early to church that he is late. In the past, I’ve been perfectly happy to walk in during the opening song. After a goodly number of years, I realized how foolish I was to make a fuss every Sunday about ten minutes. Another of his personal preferences is to have separate dishes for each dinner item. I’m happy to have my food touch each other on the same plate. I used to try to convince him that if he used just one plate or bowl, we would save money on dishwashing soap, running the dishwasher, and water. After a goodly number of years, I realized, it just doesn’t matter.
My friend Stephanie and I often give showers for ward members who are getting married or having babies. When Stephanie and I started working together, I suggested serving foods that were easy to prepare. Stephanie wanted to ask each bride or groom or expectant mother their food preferences and also decorate with their favorite colors, photos, and whatever else she could think of to make the shower unique. After a few showers, I realized how Stephanie’s approach turned the party into a celebration of the person and created beautiful memories for them. With this new mindset, I found it was a joy to prepare rather than a duty, even if it took a little more time, money, and effort.
After I had major surgery a few years back, I had been home from the hospital for about two weeks. I finally got the drains out and the swelling was subsiding. My neighbor and dear friend, Julie, is a nurse. She came every day to check on me and asked what she could do to help. Sometimes, I asked for fresh water or my laptop brought to me; things like that. On this particular day, I said, “I haven’t been able to wear my garments for weeks. I would like to try to get them on. She got a pair out of my drawer, but sadly, I was still too swollen. I thanked her for trying. After a few minutes of conversation, she went home. Then, she was back. She had brought some of her garments for me to wear. Since she is six inches taller and wears a larger size, I was able get them on. I truly felt understood and loved. She did unto me as I wanted to be done by.
Doing unto others what you want others to do for you is good. Doing unto others as they would be done by is better. Doing unto others as directed by the Holy Ghost is the best and closest to what Jesus would do. The scriptures bulge with evidences of the Holy Ghost interacting with prophets, missionaries, and ordinary people, and the pattern continues.
My college-age granddaughter, Becca, was biking with a friend on an early morning. Becca worried that she should not have gone on this bike ride because she had too much to do. She had organized a race that was scheduled to start soon and needed to set up the mile markers. She needed to meet up with the bishop to get the keys to the ward building in preparation for the race. She also had to take her final final. Halfway through their ride, Becca’s friend stopped to check on her bike tire; it was irredeemably flat. Thinking through their options, Becca felt impressed to call her father, Matt.
About ten minutes before Becca’s call, Matt was on his way to work and felt impressed to go a different way. He didn’t know why but changed his normal route. About this same time, Becca’s bishop was in his pickup truck and felt impressed to go to a particular gas station and get a drink, even though he already had one.
When Becca called her father and told him of her situation, he was close by and within two minutes met up with Becca and her friend. Matt was surprised to see the bishop there, handing the keys to the ward building to Becca. Soon the bikes were in the back of the pickup and the girls were on their way to school with Becca’s father.
I could share many stories of the Holy Ghost arranging rescues and interventions that are truly miraculous. Interestingly, they all take a while to tell because there are so many details. Richard and I had such an experience a few weeks ago when we arrived at our ward sacrament meeting ten minutes early. (Yes, we were there ten minutes early. If we had walked in during the opening song, this experience would not have happened.)
A young man, probably in his mid-twenties, was seated in the row in front of where we always sit. I didn’t recognize him. Since it was ward conference, I said to him:
Me: Hello. Are you here with the stake?
Visitor: (After a short pause) Yes, I’m from Michigan.
Me: My granddaughter lives in Saginaw. It’s a nice place. Are you moving into our ward?
Visitor: Yes. I got a job here and want to learn about the local culture. (I was confused but Richard understood what was happening.)
Richard: Have you been to one of our church meetings before?
Visitor: This is my first time. Am I allowed to come?
Me: Absolutely. Welcome.
Visitor: I have come prepared. (He reached into his backpack and pulled out a copy of the Book of Mormon.)
Richard: Have you started reading?
Visitor: (Thumbing through the pages) I’m on page 32. The family is near the Red Sea.
Me: (Just then, the bishop began the meeting.) I whispered something about how I love the Book of Mormon and sat back in my seat.
The bishop welcomed visitors from the stake and announced the opening song and prayer. The visitor sang with the congregation and bowed his head during the prayer. Richard and I couldn’t decide whether we should move up a row to sit by him or not. We were concerned that he was sitting alone.
The bishop stood at the pulpit again. He said with the stake president’s permission he had invited two young men to bear brief testimonies. He said, Andrew, a priest in our ward, had just received a mission call, and Elder Brown, who had been living in our ward as a service missionary on Temple Square, had completed his mission and would be returning home. Andrew came to the microphone, announced where he will be serving, and bore a simple testimony. Elder Brown came to the pulpit. He spoke about five minutes and proclaimed the fundamentals of the gospel of Jesus Christ with power. The Spirit filled the chapel. The difference between a departing and returning missionary left no doubt that missions dramatically change lives. Richard and I again wondered if we should move up to sit by the visitor.
The bishop then announced that since it was ward conference, the first counselor in the stake presidency would give us opportunity to sustain our leaders. Then we would prepare for the sacrament by singing a hymn. It was then, a young couple, Nate and Kaye, seated on the opposite side of the chapel, stood up from their seats. I wondered why they were leaving early. They were not leaving early. They had noticed the visitor sitting alone and came to sit by him. I wondered if they knew each other. As they sat down, Nate whispered to the visitor, “Hi, I’m Nate. May we sit by you?” “I’m Michael,” the visitor said. The two young men shook hands.
After the bishop spoke, the ward choir sang. Richard sings with the choir. When Richard returned to his seat, Michael turned around and whispered, “That was beautiful,” and gave him a thumbs up. Following the stake president’s remarks, we sang a closing him, and a young priest in our ward gave the closing prayer. When I opened my eyes after the prayer, I saw the fulltime missionaries walking in the door and coming towards our row.
The Holy Ghost is in the details. With His guidance, yes, it is possible to know what Jesus would do.
