Visiting teaching is sometimes difficult to fit in, right? It seems that the month zooms by and suddenly there are only two days left. You might worry, “Will Sister Sorenson notice that I’m calling on the 29th and will she notice the edge of persuasion in my voice when I ask her, quite firmly, if I can stop by tomorrow?”
What is it about visiting teaching deadlines? Why do we operate on a 30-day cycle? Are we saleswomen trying to achieve our monthly sales quota? And why are there visiting teaching coordinators who call us the first week of the following month and ask for our report? Have you ever said, “Sure, I visited with her . . .” then mumbled, “for 10 seconds in the church hallway.”
What’s the big deal? Miss a few days, miss a few weeks, a month or two. You see the sisters you visit teach around the neighborhood. They have a smile on their face at church. So everything is fine, right? Besides, you don’t have time for visiting teachers to come to your house, so you’re pretty sure that your assigned sisters feel the same way.
I think of the way I often handle my time, and the majority of it is “reactive” instead of “proactive.” When something has to be done, I am doing it. When there is another day or another week to put it off, I find myself putting it off.
Living in Jerusalem as a teenager was an eye-opener in more ways than one. Members in our LDS branch often traveled a great distance to attend Sabbath meetings, and sometimes they wouldn’t be able to attend due to government curfews. It made sacrament meeting all the more sweet when they were able to attend. My mother was assigned to visit teach a woman who lived in an Arab village about thirty miles away. Because of curfew, the only time she could visit this woman was in the middle of the day, with relying on the somewhat unpredictable bus system.
One afternoon, the bus she rode on was stopped. There had been a skirmish at the village border, and from the window, she could see the border wall covered with blood. Finally, the bus proceeded, but not with some trepidation in my mother’s mind.
When I think of my mother faithfully visiting teaching, even at physical risk, I realize that carving out time to visit a sister who lives just down the road from me, or at a very convenient drive’s time, I don’t have many excuses to not visit those I’ve been called to serve.
For several years, I visit taught the same woman. I’d gone through three different partners, yet I remained assigned to this woman. We’d become good friends, and our appointments lasted at least an hour as we each caught up on our lives. The third partner I was assigned to never returned my phone calls. She never showed up at appointments, but I didn’t mind. I was fine going by myself. Once in awhile, when I’d show up she wouldn’t be there. So if rescheduling didn’t work, I’d drop off something with a note. Without an active partner, it became harder to stay accountable. Then one time I set up an appointment and forgot to go. She called me an hour after the set time and asked if I was coming. I apologized and said I could come right over, but she had to leave.
The next couple of weeks sped past and one day she called me. We chatted for a few minutes and then she became emotional. Some kids had at school had been giving her daughter a hard time. She really needed someone to talk to about it because she didn’t know how to deal with it or how to counsel her daughter. When we hung up from the conversation, I felt sad. Not just about her daughter, but because the one month I had missed was the one month that she needed me the most.
I started to see the wisdom of the monthly appointments. They aren’t meant to bog down our life. They are meant to develop friendships and relationships of trust. They are meant to teach us service—not at our convenience, but within the guidelines that the Lord has sent forth.
Visiting teaching is a great responsibility. We are bringing the message of Christ to our sisters. We are forging friendships that will last into eternity. We are serving in the most important capacity that is possible—but most importantly, we are saving souls.
We need to find the time. Service takes time, and despite our busy lives, it should be a priority.
In the words of Sheri Dew, “It is vital that we, the sisters of Relief Society, learn to hear the voice of the Lord . . . the Holy Ghost blesses us with optimism and wisdom at times of challenge that we simply cannot muster on our own. No wonder that one of the adversary’s favorite tactics among righteous LDS women is busyness—getting us so preoccupied with the flurry of daily life that we fail to immerse ourselves in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Sisters, we can’t afford not to seek the things of the Spirit! There is too much at stake. Too many people are depending on us as mothers, as sisters, leaders, and friends.” (October 1998 General Relief Society Conference)
The women we have been called to visit teach need to know that they are our friends. That they can call us. That they can ask favors. That they know we will be happy to help. That they know we love them. That we will take that bus, no matter how far, to reach their home.
Heather Moore is the author of Women of the Book of Mormon: Insights & Inspirations as well as the award-winning historical novels: Abinadi and Alma.