The Want List
by Richard P. Halverson
How much do you want what is on your “wants list?”
Let me tell you about a conversation I had once as a bishop. A fine woman in my ward asked if we could visit. During the interview she expressed her despair that she and her husband had not been to the temple to be sealed. The issue was tithing. In this case her husband handled all the family finances. She could not understand why they were not tithe payers. I didn’t know either so I decided to ask.
Her husband wasn’t surprised when I called. In truth he was annoyed, but figured he should at least give his side of the story. He said, “Sure she wants to pay tithing, so do I. But she wants a lot of other things too!” With that he pulled out what he called “Heather’s Want List”. It was a long list of all the things they had purchased that his wife wanted. It included drapes, furniture and a cruise. With each item there was a story of how the item got on the list, how she fussed for it, and how he had eventually given in to placate her. Well, I was amazed. I could see where the tithing money was going. The thought struck me that if there was a Heather’s want list there was probably a Marty’s want list as well. I was surprised that he was surprised when I said I was surprised when he said there wasn’t one. (Did you follow that?) Well, after some coaxing a verbal Marty’s want list began to emerge. Somehow he didn’t see the things he wanted as being as frivolous as the things she wanted. Of course, she had quite a different view. When you put the two lists together I couldn’t believe they were able to buy gas money to get to church, let alone pay tithing.
Creating a Wants List
The more I thought about the lists Marty had shared with me the more I thought a real “Want List” might be good for them. The lists he had shared with me were, in fact, “Bought Lists”. Everything on them had already been purchased. They still had a list of things they wanted to buy, only they hadn’t written them down. It turns out a “Want List” is a good idea for all of us. It helps us manage our resources better. In my experience just about everyone’s wants are longer than their money. This seems to be true for individuals, corporations, wards, governments you name it. The problem rapidly compounds when more than one person is contributing their wants to the list. Here are some suggestions on using this simple tool.
1) Work as a family. In my experience one spouse or the other tends to handle most of the family’s finances and that is fine. However, everyone – even the children – have a list of things they want. Communication is important. When the dominant personality takes this process over and comes up with what amounts to a “My Wants Only List” there is going to be a lot of bad feelings.
2) Have a budget. A “Want List” assumes you already have a budget that covers regular expenditures for things like food, clothing, insurance, mortgage payments, etc. Hopefully, there is some money left over after all the normal expenditures to save and apply to your wants. Incidentally, I believe tithing is the top item on your regular expenditure list. If you agree, then tithing will not become part of a “Want List”.
3) Establish criteria. This is a very important step. Criteria will help you establish priorities among the things you want. Most people want everything on their list and they want them right now. Furthermore, family members won’t always agree on what the family wants. Mom may want a motor home to get to her favorite fishing spots. Sis may have her heart set on a pet racehorse. And Dad may be holding out for a new bathroom — one that is indoors. Generally, it is easier for people to agree on criteria than it is to agree on the wants. So, it is a good idea to complete this before people begin discussing the things they want to buy.
Every family will have different criteria. I’ve listed some examples that may be helpful.
a) Will the item improve the health, safety, or well being of the family? 10 pts
b) Will the item protect or improve an existing investment? 9 pts
c) Will the item contribute to income or learning? 9 pts
d) Will the item reduce work? 8 pts
e) Will the item be used often? 5 pts
f) Is the item simply for esthetics? 2 pts
g) Is the item expensive to maintain or operate? -3 pts
h) Is the item a fad? -10 pts
4) List your wants. Establish a time for everyone who is going to be involved in the process to meet for a brainstorming session (even if you are the only family member). Let everyone make suggestions about what they want. Since this is a brainstorming session any want should be allowed without criticism from others.
5) Rank your wants with your criteria. You might rank each want by each criterion on a scale of 1 (lowest) to 5 (highest). Then multiply the rank by the points you established in step 3. Picking on the racehorse, for example. Some may argue the horse will improve health because people will spend time outdoors riding it. Assume the family finally settles on a 3 for this criterion. 3 x 10 points equals 30 in this category. However, a horse is very expensive to maintain. This might rank a 5 x -3 points equaling -15 in this category. And since your daughter is only five you might conclude this is really sort of a fad. When you have ranked all the criteria and their points add them up for each item.
6) Estimate costs. Be realistic about your estimates. If you characteristically wind up getting the deluxe model of everything you buy, use the deluxe price. For example, if you want a trash compactor and if deluxe models that say “thank you” cost $750 then estimate $750. Don’t record the price of some stripped-down model that only “burps” when you are almost certain to pay more.
Refining the List
Now to see how this works let’s say the members of a family contribute the following list of things they want at the following criterion value and estimated costs. Rank the items according to criterion. If you are able to get agreement on this the first time around you are amazing, even if you are working by yourself.
ITEM CRITERION ESTIMATED COST
Indoor bathroom 185 pts $2,225
Bed frames 90 pts 75
Home computer 84 pts 1,650
Lexus Sports Utility Vehicle 68 pts 52,000
Cruise to Bahamas 43 pts 7,000
Living room drapery 25 pts 1,450
Trash compactor 18 pts 750
Grandfather clock 12 pts 1,650
Drinking fountain in kids’ room 7 pts 750
Motor home 2 pts 187,000
Pet racehorse -12 pts 115,000
Total Estimated Cost $369,550
O.K. so my own biases may be showing through. That is why it is important for everyone who should be involved to be involved.
The Sobering Part
Now for the really sobering part – figuring out when you can buy all the things on your want list. Assume a look at this family’s budget for normal living expenses indicates they have $8,000 a year in cash flow to buy these items. That means they can start on the bathroom in about three months but they are not going to buy that SUV for nearly seven years. And the motor home? Don’t even go there.
This step will tend to do three rather important things. First, sometimes the criteria and their weightings get adjusted. Hopefully, it is in a more responsible direction and not in a more whimsical way. Second, you may conclude you can survive with less expensive options. Finally, some items will simply get scratched all together.
ITEM CRITERION ESTIMATED COST
Used Subaru Outback 200 Pts $18,000
Indoor bathroom 185 pts $1,850
Bed frames 90 pts 75
Home computer 84 pts 1,350
Trip to Yellowstone 43 pts 1,000
Living room drapery 25 pts 1,450
Trash compactor 18 pts 500
Grandfather clock 12 pts 1,650
Drinking fountain in kids’ room
Motor home
Pet racehorse
Total Estimated Cost $25,875
In this case the car has gotten a lot less expensive in line with the family’s finances but it has also moved to the top of the list. In this example we will assume a new car is really a necessity for some reason. Based on the previous assumption that this family has $8,000 a year to apply to want list items this means the car can not be purchased for 2 ? years. This introduces the idea that perhaps this family will need to borrow to buy the car.Debt is really a way to bridge the gap between where we are and the want list. This is not an article on debt management, so I will not dwell on it except to offer some hopefully obvious cautions. While debt can be good when used properly it has a lot of drawbacks. First, it raises the cost of everything that is purchased because of the interest that must be paid. Second, getting a loan has become so easy, it provides almost no discipline. Far too many people have come to feel that as soon as they see something they want, they should bridge the gap with a loan. Before long they are totally enslaved to debt repayments for things they didn’t really want or need that badly. Third, the debt repayments reduce cash flow and make it more difficult to buy the other things on the want list. This is especially bad if some new and very important want shows up a few months down the road. For example, this family has not listed a refrigerator on this want list. Assume they maxed out their borrowing capacity to buy every want on their list right now. Then their refrigerator quits. They are in real trouble. If they do not have the debt they can make up a new want list and they will probably discover a new refrigerator is right at the top.
A well constructed, properly used want list can help you spend your money on things you really want, rather than blowing money on momentary whims. It can actually help you do a better job of buying and getting good value for your money, too. When purchases are scheduled and written down, adequate examination of the purchase is more likely to occur than when a purchase is made hurriedly. Timing also improves. For example, purchases can be scheduled during periods when the items are most likely to be on sale. The benefits of a want list can be substantial.
But beware! The want list can create more problems than it solves. Some people don’t have much buying discipline. The mere process of writing all their wants down on paper gets them excited. Then they can’t resist running out to look. Then they wind up borrowing to buy all the items on their entire want list immediately. This is especially true when they see what they think is a once-in-a-lifetime sale. Sales are rarely once-in-a-lifetime. This syndrome may be called the “accelerated buying” phenomenon. It results in all the nasty side effects created by having too much debt. Then you discover the new trash compactor may be “burping” and saying “thank you” as it consumes baskets of threatening past-due notices.
Happy Ending
Oh, I don’t want to forget Heather and Marty. They are doing great. I would love to tell you the want list changed their lives and saved their marriage. They actually did use it and I actually think it did help. But I am sure they would have made it anyway. Fortunately, they began with a very good marriage. They had slipped into some bad habits with respect to their buying and their communications about money. Once the problem was laid out before them they worked together to reorder their priorities and make improvements. They did start paying tithing and they have been to the temple. And I do think they are happier with the way they manage their money today.
2001 Meridian Magazine. All Rights Reserved.
