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The following was written by Kristena Eden for LDS Living. To read the full article, CLICK HERE

When our fears are triggered, our natural instinct is to react, giving our self-control over to our anger. But do we really want to live at the mercy of our own anger? To change our natural instincts, we first need to understand our own fears. Do we fear failure, losing a child, losing respect, or losing something very meaningful in our lives? Most often when we are angry, we fear either failure or loss.

Anger can be very corrosive mentally and physically. It releases a flood of cortisol and adrenaline, causing our muscles to tense and our heart rate to increase. High levels of cortisol and adrenaline can destroy the judgment area of neurons in the brain and our short-term memory. They can also weaken our immune system.

So why do we allow this emotion to be part of our life? In reality, we should not make room for any anger, but that is a tall order. So, let’s start small and progress from there. Here are some steps to help you turn anger into love:

1. The first step toward turning anger to love is to ask yourself in the moment if you’re angry, sad, feeling rejected, or some other emotion. (See “Slow to Anger” by Elder Gordon T. Watts.) Pause and identify what you are actually feeling.

2. Once the actual emotion is identified, search for what triggered your reaction. Was it a tone of voice? Poor timing? A situation that made you feel attacked? If you know what kind of situations tend to bring your anger to the surface, you can be better prepared to manage that emotion.

3. Think about what actually happened and what you can learn from it.

To read the full article, CLICK HERE