We’ve all experienced that, “Oh, No!” moment, when you realize you’ve done something you seriously regret. It’s the moment you crash the car, the moment you realize you forgot to pick up your kid from school, the moment you realize you transferred your fortune to a scam artist.  Maybe you said something mean that you can’t take back.  Maybe broke a promise to someone who trusted you.  The “recognition” that we have done something terrible causes our heart to turn to lead and drop into the pit of our stomach.  We want to disappear, to hide under a rock.  We wish we could turn back time, do anything to undo what we have done.  Nevertheless, night comes, we sleep and we dream, and in the morning we wake, and the error still exists.  It wasn’t just a bad dream.

The intensity of that “Oh, No!” moment will vary with the gravity of the sin.  Alma the younger’s very grave sin of persecuting the church of God led his soul to be filled with inexpressible horror.  We remember the words of Jean Valjean in Les Miserables who said, “My shame cuts inside me life a knife.”   Lesser sins may not result in such severe self-castigation, but we still blush deeply, burdened by the inevitable guilt that accompanies those of us who sin and are in no way “past feeling.”  The “recognition” stage of repentance results in intense feelings of discomfort.  Those feelings haunt us, invade our thoughts and rob us of joy.

The “Oh, No” moment is universal.  Recognition happens.  It might not happen in response to a specific episode, like wrecking the car.  Recognition might happen in response to a lifestyle, as it did to Alma the younger.  Unless we are “past feeling” everybody gets to experience the first step of repentance, recognition.  We all have the light of Christ, we all have a conscience.  We know the difference between good and evil.  At some point in time, we are going to be awakened to a consciousness of our own guilt.

There are two ways to handle the uncomfortable feeling of recognition: 1) try to bury them or 2) access the Atonement Jesus Christ.  Satan encouraged Adam to choose option #1 “run, hide.”  The Lord introduced option #2 and provided Adam and Eve with “coats of skins” which represented the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

Option #1

In this day and age those who do not know about the Atonement of Jesus Christ, or those who do not understand the Atonement of Jesus Christ, or those who do not have faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ will choose option #1, “run, hide”… bury the sin.  The feeling of guilt remains.  It is uncomfortable, irritating, annoying, & eating away at them.  They wander looking for places to hide, grasping for branches and leaves to cover their nakedness.

Some of these attempts to run and hide may include addictive substances—alcohol or drugs, legal and illegal.  Attempts to hide may include escaping through pornography or incessant use of social media.  They may include “checking out” of life and “checking in” to video games.  They may include loud, beat-driven music that leaves the listener in a semi-hypnotic state.

Any attempt to hide the original sin brings the sinner more and more anguish.  The original feeling of discomfort becomes compounded by ineffective ways to mute it.  The original feeling of discomfort leads to more and more discomfort, greater and greater guilt, deeper and deeper misery.

Before choosing either Option #1 or Option #2, we all experience the same, feelings: wishing we could disappear, wishing we could turn back time, horror at what we have done, or what we have been doing.  However, to avoid becoming more and more miserable, more and more unhappy, more and more withdrawn, we can choose Option #2.

Option #2

The exact opposite happens when we choose Option #2.  With each step we feel less and less burdened.  We feel less and less miserable.  We feel lighter and lighter.  Our happiness returns.  The spirit returns.  We feel joy.

Option #2 it does not follow the traditional “four steps of repentance” that all begin with “R.”  Option #2 is all about Accessing the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  In fact, every step of Accessing the Atonement of Jesus Christ begins with an A.  To access the Atonement of Jesus Christ we acknowledge, ask, appreciate, act and avoid.

Accessing the Atonement of Christ

Acknowledge that Christ is the only one who can take away the miserable feeling that accompanies sin.  If we’re going to hide our nakedness, fig leaves won’t do the job.  We must have a coat of skins.  A coat of skins will protect us from all the elements that will assault us in life.  It will protect us from excess sun, from rain, from snow, from arrows, from thorns, and from temptation.

Ask Christ to intervene.  As sinners we must ask Christ to intervene in our behalf, and on behalf of those we have wounded.  He is the only one who can heal the wounds of those we have disappointed.  He is the only one who can make us whole when our sin has torn us up.  What do we ask him?  We ask his forgiveness.  We ask him to help us avoid sin in the future.  We ask him to be our advocate before the Father.

Appreciate the magnitude of the Atonement.  So often we ask for forgiveness, but once we are forgiven, we fail to express gratitude for being made clean again.  We need to appreciate the blessing of being whole, of no longer dealing with that miserable feeling that came when we recognized our sin.  We need to appreciate Christ for paying our debts.  We need to appreciate that he has healed those we have offended.  We will want to be like the leper who returned, so grateful to be cleansed that in his celebration of his new life he remembered to thank the master healer.

Act in a manner that shows gratitude.  If we’re truly grateful to Christ for making us whole, and for healing those we have wounded, we will do everything we can to show our gratitude.  We will testify with boldness, serve with gladness.  We will obey without argument.  It’s one thing to send a thank-you note, but it’s another thing entirely to always remember Him.

Avoid the very appearance of evil.  Like the anti-Nephi-Lehis, we want to bury our swords so deep that if we are every tempted to dig them up, we will have come to our senses before we insert the first shovel in the dirt.  Whatever tripped us up in the first place should be avoided like the plague.  If it is social media, so be it.  If it is a friend, so be it.  Our relationship with Christ matters more than anything we have to give up in order to stay in his good graces.

Note the similarities and the differences between Option #1 and Option #2.  Both options begin with a recognition that we have sinned.  In both cases we feel terrible, miserable, and don’t want to live with the pain.  This is where the options diverge.  With option #1 we become more and more miserable, the more we try to cover our own sins.  With option #2 we feel lighter and lighter with every step, finding more and more happiness, until we are living in joy.

The recognition stage of repentance can be the beginning of something awful, or the beginning of something beautiful.  Whatever happened, happened.  We might as well make the best of it and come unto Christ to find joy.

JeaNette Goates Smith is a retired Marriage and Family Therapist and the author of four books on family relationships that can be found at amazon.com.  She and her husband, Bret, served as mission leaders in the Dominican Republic from 2017-2020.