“I’ve been There”: The Secret to Effective Succoring
I’ve often wondered why it was necessary that Jesus take upon himself our infirmities, so that he could succor us. Somehow, he needed to know exactly what it felt like to be hungry, or sick, or betrayed, or lonely, in order to comfort those of us who are hungry or sick or betrayed or lonely. (see Alma 7:12)
The Atonement of Jesus Christ is a miracle beyond comprehension, and we can’t actually take upon ourselves others’ infirmities like The Savior did. However, if the Savior himself needed to understand how we feel in order to succor us in our sorrows, perhaps we can better succor one another when we are able to “walk in their moccasins.”
There is tremendous relief in truly being understood. Years ago, I was struggling with my calling as a full-time mother. It was an era when the ERA amendment was being touted and equal rights for women was sold as Nirvana. My New England neighbors ridiculed me for staying home, saying I was “wasting my education and my talents wiping snotty noses and changing diapers all day.” Their criticism hurt because, indeed, I was lured by the glamour of a tailored suit and a corner office.
My husband didn’t understand what I was going through. My priesthood leaders didn’t understand what I was going through. However, while attending a conference for public relations professionals I made friends with another Latter-day Saint women who felt exactly as I did. We compared notes, commiserated, vented, weighed options, wrote letters and comforted one another. Throughout the process I found the courage to resist the lures of the world and become content with full-time motherhood. My friend met me where I was and together, we discovered where we wanted to go. This like-minded sister knew just what I was going through because she was experiencing the same thing.
If we are suffering it may take some effort to find someone who understands us and can succor us. However, if Jesus had to “feel our pain” in order to succor us, it makes sense that in order to be succored, we will want to find someone who can “feel our pain.”
Finding Like-Minded Sufferers
When my daughter and later my daughter-in-law gave birth to babies with Down Syndrome they joined an organization DSAJ, Down Syndrome Association of Jacksonville. The other mothers in the organization understood the medical challenges they would face and were facing. They helped my girls with practical matters such as finding doctors, therapists, funding, educators. They also gave the moms hope as they shared the joy they experienced having such incredible, delightful children in their families.
Groups for mothers of pre-schoolers can be sanity-savers for young mothers who are experiencing similar challenges with their toddlers every single day. Such groups help mothers with practical matters such as child-care, sleep hacks, potty-training, feeding, as well as emotional matters such as feeling under-valued, unappreciated, overwhelmed or isolated.
There are groups for cancer-survivors, groups for people who have lost children to drunk-drivers, groups for survivors of abuse, groups for those who survived 9-11, groups for newcomers to the neighborhood, groups for retirees, groups for widows and widowers. I recently joined a writer’s group and my fellow-writers have given me inspiration, support, encouragement, friendship, acceptance and courage. There is a lot to be said for someone who knows what you are going through, and can truly empathize not sympathize, as in “poor you”, but empathize, as in, “I get you.”
After a morning of pickleball I sat in a group of women who began talking about being divorced. One woman spoke enthusiastically about her leadership role in a group for women recovering from divorce. She spoke about legal issues, co-parenting, letting go, moving on, etc. She wasn’t pining, or whining. She was empowering. Some of the other women sitting with us leaned forward, asked a number of questions and gained hope from this woman’s experience with groups that help women recovering from divorce.
It may take effort find a group of those who are truly like-minded. For example, my friend who led the women’s divorce group emphasized that the group was not appropriate for widows. The widows are usually grieving the loss of someone they adored, while the divorcees are grieving the loss of someone for whom they likely feel the opposite. Those who were not like-minded had difficulty succoring one another. To present another example, all immigrants are not alike. Some come to the US undocumented, while others are documented. Just because they are all immigrants does not mean they face similar concerns. The emotions they need to share can be vastly different and it helps to share with those who have the same concerns.
Succoring Others
When we are not currently “carrying your own cross” as Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, and are willing to “be at the foot of another’s,” we can effectively succor someone in need. It is impossible to experience all the pains and infirmities the Savior experienced. The Savior is the only one who knows precisely what we are all going through. However, when I became a counselor, I learned a method for succoring those who had experiences different mine.
There was no way I could have experienced myself the variety of things my clients had been through. I had clients who had been abused, and that had not happened to me. I had clients who had been divorced and that had never happened to me. Some clients were struggling with gender-identity and that was something I had not experienced. However, the essence of what they were experiencing was something I could relate to. Although I had not been abused, I knew what it was like to be objectified. Although I had not been divorced, I knew what it was like to be rejected. Although I did not struggle with gender-identity, I had certainly struggled with my identity. It was important that I could hone in on those feelings in order to “get them,” to comprehend the type of pain my clients were experiencing. I had to listen very carefully to understand their pain, and perhaps add a significant multiplier to the pain I had experienced myself. However, I could get there, I could be with them in their pain.
The Society of Succoring
In Spanish “Relief Society” is translated as Sociedad de Socorro, or the “society of succoring.” The organization has evolved over my lifetime, and when I was young it was all about reaching out to others, to your family, to your community. Then there was a period of time where the Relief Society encouraged its members to succor one another. Rather than meet as an entire relief society during the week, the idea was to meet with like-minded sisters, those who were interested in the same things. These groups were intended to be a modern-day version of our mothers’ sewing circle. They would provide the exact same resource as any other group—women offering succor to those who had had similar experiences.
Ostensibly, Latter-day Saints understand one another better than those of other faiths, or those who are not part of any faith group. Because we are a like-minded group of Christians we will be able to succor one another more effectively than a groups from different faith traditions, or those who don’t believe in a deity.
Accepting Succoring
Sometimes we can be proud and independent and think that we need to suffer all on our own. We may be reluctant to attend such programs as an addiction-recovery group provided by the church. However, those who take advantage of the fellowship of fellow-suffers can find tremendous relief. One of the reasons these programs work is because they are full of those who have been succored and felt the relief of being understood and they are now in a position to succor others.
We can all benefit from fellowship with like-minded people. Sometimes we share our sorrows and we succor one another. Sometimes we share our joys and we celebrate with one another. People in the same situation, or who have had the same experiences benefit from someone who “gets them.” There is no reason to go at it alone. The Savior may have taken our sins upon himself so that he could succor us in a way that no one else could. But he also provided communities where we could benefit from the succor of others and where we could learn the joy of succoring.
JeaNette Goates Smith is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the author of four self-help books for families. She and her husband recently served as mission leaders in the Dominican Republic. More information is available at www.smithfamilytherapy.org
Gethsemane: How a Precious Truth was Lost and Found
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As Latter-day Saints, we believe that what happened in Gethsemane was essential to the Atonement of Jesus Christ. As True to the Faith explains, “Jesus’s atoning sacrifice took place in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross at Calvary. In Gethsemane He submitted to the will of the Father and began to take upon Himself the sins of all people … The Savior continued to suffer for our sins when He allowed Himself to be crucified—‘lifted up upon the cross and slain for the sins of the world’ (1 Nephi 11:33).” (True to the Faith: Atonement).
It was in Gethsemane that Christ began His Atonement and it was on the cross that he completed his suffering as “all the infinite agonies and merciless pains of Gethsemane recurred” (McConkie, Ensign May 1985). Truly, it was a “perfect atonement” wrought out “through the shedding of his own blood” in both Gethsemane and on the cross (D&C 76:69).
When sharing these beliefs with other Christians, many Latter-day Saints are surprised to find out that our belief in the role of Gethsemane is not a common belief shared with most other Christians. Typically, they believe the Atonement of Christ took place exclusively on the cross and that the events in Gethsemane were just in prayerful preparation and anticipation for that suffering. Even more surprising is the fact that a key scriptural passage supporting our view of Gethsemane has been removed by many modern translations of the Bible. What happened to cause this plain and precious truth to be lost and what we can learn from it is an important topic for Latter-day Saints to consider.
The Case of Luke 22:43-44
After Christ’s earnest prayer to have the bitter cup of His atoning suffering removed and his expressed submission to do the will of the Father, Luke records these words, “And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him. And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground” (Luke 22:43-44). Latter-day Saints recognize these simple words as doctrinally important because they describe the suffering that Christ endured for our sins in Gethsemane.
Unfortunately though, for years these two verses have been disputed by scholars because they are not found in some of the early manuscripts of the Bible. Many have assumed that this meant they were added as “interpolations” to the original text and many modern Bible translations have left out this passage or put it in brackets to identify it as questionable. More recent scholarship, however, proposes the opposite explanation. It suggests that these verses were actually deliberately removed from the text. Some of the evidence for this is that the passage is found in the earliest extant fragment of Luke, it was known by many of the early Christian writers of the second century, and it does not begin to disappear from the text until later in the third and fourth centuries (L. H. Blumell, “Luke 22:43-44: An-Anti-Docetic Interpolation or an Apologetic Omission?”, TC: A Journal of Biblical Textual Criticism 19 (2014):1-35.).
There are several reasons why well-intentioned but misinformed men would seek to remove this passage in early Christian history. One reason is that this passage was a favorite of early Anti-Christians who mocked the idea that a divine being would be weak enough to suffer and ask for help. Many early Christians may have been embarrassed by this attack and found it easier to remove the passage rather than defend or explain it to critics (L. H. Blumell, “Luke 22:43-44: An-Anti-Docetic Interpolation or an Apologetic Omission?”, TC: A Journal of Biblical Textual Criticism 19 (2014):1-35).
Another compelling reason some might have removed it is that Christ’s suffering seemed to contradict ideas from the Nicene creed about Christ’s humanity and capacity to truly experience mortal suffering and temptation. The best evidence for this happening is that one early Christian literally witnessed it and wrote about it! He reported that “orthodox” supporters of the Nicene Creed were removing verses from the Bible and specifically listed Luke 22:43-44 as among those verses. He described that they “being afraid and not understanding the meaning and power of the passage [Luke 22:43-44], have expunged it” (Epiphanius, Firmly Anchored One, in Holl, Epiphanius, 31.4-5; see Lincoln H. Blumell, “Rereading the Council of Nicaea and its Creed”,” in Miranda Wilcox and John Young (eds.), Standing Apart: Mormon Historical Consciousness and the Concept of Apostasy. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2014, 191–212).
Fortunately, the passage remained in enough manuscripts that it was not completely erased and survived to the modern era. But even with the passage included in many Bibles, because of diminished support and misunderstanding of its significance, it has often been interpreted as figurative and downplayed as just referring to Christ sweating profusely in anticipation for the suffering on the cross. The full weight of what took place in Gethsemane was largely lost from Christianity.
The Loss of Plain and Precious Truths
The loss or removal of important doctrine from the Bible is not surprising for Latter-day Saints. Nephi reported in vision seeing that “many plain and precious things … have been taken out of the book, which were plain unto the understanding” and that this textual tampering has caused many to stumble (1 Nephi 13:29). The story of Luke 22 helps us better understand how this tampering may have taken place. Often it was deliberate and intentional not accidental or indiscriminate. It was also not necessarily done with malicious intent but at least some tampering was done by “orthodox” Christians who were sincerely trying to “improve” the text based on their misunderstandings or to defend the text from the attacks of critics. However well-intended and sincere they may have been, such tampering with the word of God still had lasting consequences on our ability to understand and interpret the Bible correctly (see JS-H 1:9-12).
What happened with Luke 22 also helps us better understand what Joseph Smith meant when he proclaimed that “we believe the Bible as far as it is translated correctly” (A of F 1:8). Often we read the word “translated” and think only of the process of changing one language to another, but this account makes it clear that a bigger problem in translation was the transmission and interpretation of text. The best translators in the world can’t translate words if they are no longer in the text and the words in the text will likely be misunderstood if they are subjected to centuries of uninspired interpretation. In other words, to be “translated correctly” the Bible must be “transmitted correctly” and “interpreted correctly.” This use of the word “translation” to include transmission and interpretation is consistent with the way Joseph Smith used the term in his “translation” of the Bible which was not an attempt to change the language from English but the inspired effort to restore lost texts and clarify existing texts to help the Bible be understood more plainly.
Restoring Plain and Precious Truths
The solution to this problem of Bible tampering was also shown to Nephi in vision. He witnessed the coming forth of the Book of Mormon and “other books” of scripture in the latter-days that would serve three important purposes. First, they would “establish the truth” of the Bible by confirming and correctly interpreting the truths that it already contains. Second, they would restore or “make known the plain and precious things which have been taken away” from the Bible. And third, these additional scriptures of the Restoration would join with the Bible in testifying that Jesus Christ “is the Son of the Eternal Father, and the Savior of the World” (1 Nephi 13:39-40).
Again, the case of Luke 22 illustrates exactly what Nephi described. In the Book of Mormon and Doctrine & Covenants we find statements that confirm, interpret, and (if it were necessary) restore the truths Luke recorded about Gethsemane. These verses provide an additional modern witness of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. For example, the Nephite prophet King Benjamin taught that Christ would “suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer, except it be unto death; for behold, blood cometh from every pore, so great shall be his anguish for the wickedness and the abominations of his people” (Mosiah 3:7 emphasis added).
Perhaps the greatest scripture we have on the subject though comes from the Lord Jesus Christ himself who intimately explained what he experienced for us in Gethsemane. He revealed to Joseph Smith that “I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent; But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I; Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink— Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men” (D&C 19:18-19). These verses make it clear that Christ began his atoning sacrifice in Gethsemane and that his suffering caused him to literally sweat blood. As latter-day Saints, we do not need to question the authenticity or interpretation of the passage in Luke because it has been confirmed to us by modern revelation—Christ himself explained it to us.
Conclusion
The doctrine of Gethsemane is just one of the many reasons to be grateful for the Restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ through the Prophet Joseph Smith. Although “no mortal mind can conceive the full import of what Christ did in Gethsemane,” through modern revelation and living prophets we know the following:
“We know he sweat great gouts of blood from every pore as he drained the dregs of that bitter cup his Father had given him.
“We know he suffered, both body and spirit, more than it is possible for man to suffer, except it be unto death.
“We know that in some way, incomprehensible to us, his suffering satisfied the demands of justice, ransomed penitent souls from the pains and penalties of sin, and made mercy available to those who believe in his holy name.
“We know that he lay prostrate upon the ground as the pains and agonies of an infinite burden caused him to tremble and would that he might not drink the bitter cup.
“We know that an angel came from the courts of glory to strengthen him in his ordeal, and we suppose it was mighty Michael, who foremost fell that mortal man might be.
“As near as we can judge, these infinite agonies—this suffering beyond compare—continued for some three or four hours…
“And now, as pertaining to this perfect atonement, wrought by the shedding of the blood of God—I testify that it took place in Gethsemane and at Golgotha, and as pertaining to Jesus Christ, I testify that he is the Son of the Living God and was crucified for the sins of the world. He is our Lord, our God, and our King. This I know of myself independent of any other person.” (Elder Bruce R. McConkie, Ensign May 1985, emphasis added)
Truly, these are things we know independent of any other person or church, for they are not beliefs we share in common with other Christian churches. We know them because Jesus Christ revealed and restored them through the prophet Joseph Smith. May we forever be grateful for what has revealed in our day and share it with all who desire to know more about the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
Atonement – In Real Time
I’ve heard it said that people change and spiritually progress for two main reasons: Either their minds have been opened, or their hearts have been broken. When both happen, just imagine the growth that can take place…
Fallen world forces
We live in a fallen world. Because we live on this telestial planet, we have to abide by telestial law, which thrusts us into realms of CONTRAST. If we experience light, we must experience darkness to become aware of the difference. To truly enjoy health, we must also have a firsthand understanding of sickness. If we want to experience rapture and bliss, we must feel heartbreak and despair. Knowledge and wisdom come from understanding these disparities.
In the dark, joyless realms we can feel so alone and completely cut off from God, but the good news is, a SAVIOR CAN SHIFT THE BALANCE on this telestial rollercoaster. This is why we need a Savior in this existence – in “real time!” Otherwise, evil would triumph with the laws of ENTROPY and OPPOSITION, and mankind would live in perpetual ruin and misery.
Brad Wilcox wrote: “Jesus walked on the water, but mortality was not designed to enable us to walk on water. It was designed so that we would sink. Only then would we reach out and grasp the arm of grace extended to us.” (Changed Through His Grace, p. 133) Christ’s Atonement gives us the opportunity to let grace do its work so we can “fill up” with God.
SURRENDER is a key component in this process. When we experience a “low low”, and completely surrender to the Lord, He will counter that downward thrust and turn our path upwards to ONEness. He can literally transform our emotional and spiritual environments, (sometimes in the blink of an eye). We need the Savior to save us in our extremities. We need at-ONE-ment.
From Crises to Surrender in Tanzania
A friend of mine in Tanzania, Africa experienced a painful “low low” recently when he lost his job, and his landlady gave him the ultimatum to pay up or get out. These were his heartfelt words: “I am going through a financial crisis with no job, and I had already overstayed for three months without having paid my landlady her rent. Recently she issued me 21 days notice to vacate her premises with no further excuse. I remain with 8 days only before the notice expire date and until now I’m confused and I don’t know what to do. I’m just praying for the miracle to happen. Today I surrender my all to Jesus.”
When he wrote that to me, I was so touched. A week later, I wrote him again to see what happened. He said: “Nothing has changed yet, but one thing I know is that my heart is at peace. My spirit was settled the moment I surrendered it all to Jesus, no more worry, no fear no despair.” Even at this extremely uncertain moment in his life, he was buoyed up. Once he OPENED his mind and heart to the point of surrender – the Lord FILLED him with joy and peace completely independent of his circumstance. He became “ONE” with the Lord.
When we’re in that place of ONE-ness, no darkness can penetrate. Christ lifts us out of negativity into light, calm and wisdom. Howard W. Hunter taught: “Peace can come to an individual only by an unconditional surrender – surrender to him who is the Prince of peace who has the power to confer peace.” (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church, 2015)
From Pain to Grace
The following poem showcases the process we all need in order to advance spiritually. It begins with upset or pain:
She fell
She crashed
She broke
She cried
She crawled
She hurt
She surrendered
And then…
She rose again.
(Nausicaa Twila)
Once we surrender to God’s will – not ours – in any given circumstance, we’re lifted up and His whole arsenal is there to heal our hearts and give us peace. Elder Paul V. Johnson said: “No matter how daunting the challenges in our lives or in the world around us, we know we can have peace through the power of the infinite Atonement.”(Elder Paul V. Johnson, April Conference 2013) We can receive this peaceful oneness and live our lives in a more meaningful way.
Capstone Experience
Just a week or two ago, I spoke with a friend who had gone through this process of spiritual surrender over many years. She was given a capstone experience, which she relayed to me. My friend, (I’ll call her Betty), had a friend (Janet), who had betrayed her in a very painful way 16 years earlier. It shook Betty to her core and the tsunami of emotion that resulted was difficult to let go of. The last couple of years, however, Betty had surrendered her experience and all of her emotion to Christ. Little by little she filled up with and applied His atonement until she became enabled to wholeheartedly forgive.
Just the other day, and out of the blue, Janet called her to say that she would be in Betty’s area and asked if she could stay at Betty’s home for the weekend. Somewhat hesitant, Betty agreed. On Sunday, they went to church. Betty sat next to Janet as the sacrament was passed. It seemed like time stood still as she observed herself handing the Sacrament tray to Janet while both partook. At that precious moment Betty realized what the Lord had done for her. She had absolutely no malice, anxiety or anger towards Janet from whom she had received so much grief. How the Lord had changed her! She felt a sense of victory through Christ in passing this tremendous test.
Neal A. Maxwell taught: “Spiritual submissiveness is not accomplished in an instant, but by the incremental improvements and by the successive use of stepping-stones. Stepping-stones are meant to be taken one at a time” (Neal A. Maxwell, Conference, July 2002). In this way, we can access the power to overcome suffering.
Redeemed from Hell
I love it when Nephi said, “…I glory in my Jesus, for he hath redeemed my soul from hell” (2 Ne 33:6). Have you ever experienced hell? I know I have. Whenever we slip into ANY kind of darkness or negativity, we gain entry into the realm of hell. Nephi knew all about this. He even called himself “wretched” during a particularly difficult point in his life. This is a prophet of God talking: “O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.” (2 Ne 4:17) He knew what hell on earth meant, but through Christ’s atonement he was able to feel the contrasting emotions (bliss and rapture), when he tells how the Lord “…hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.” (2 Ne 4:21)
All of humanity experience misery from time to time and need redeeming here and now in mortality. The Lord is the answer. He can liberate us from the hell of personal weakness, lack, addiction, divorce, or many other agonies.
If you find yourself in a difficult or painful circumstance – there IS a way out! It is through learning to be ONE with the Lord in any given situation, (instead of being one with darkness and all that entails) Ask yourself the following questions:
- Is my heart broken?
- Is my mind open?
- Am I ready to trade suffering for peace?
- Am I ready to choose light over dark?
- Am I ready to Surrender my will?
If our heartfelt answer to these questions is yes, we are completely covered from many forces of telestial law as we become ONE with the God of the Universe. He will fill us up with His Atonement, (AS SOON AS WE ARE READY), and we will become entitled to the peace that passes all understanding.
He can give us power to be able to forge ahead in frightening uncharted waters, or give us strength to do what we personally don’t think we can do.
We can apply Christ’s healing, redemptive Atonement NOW, – IN REAL TIME!
You can contact Anne at [email protected]
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