Personal Voice

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Through the years I have written poems that allowed me to pour out my concerns and deepest feelings. At some point others wanted copies of them because they too were experiencing similar feelings or knew someone who was and wanted to give them comfort through a poem. Ultimately some of these poems were illustrated, published, and sold at LDS bookstores. That was a few years ago. Since they are no longer available through stores I offer four of them here for anyone to freely copy and share with others, but not publish without permission since they are copyrighted. I don’t claim to be a professional poet, and critics may be well aware of that. However, this is my simple style and I hope you enjoy reading them and find a measure of peace as a result.

I will also share an introduction as to why the poem was written so that you may have a deeper understanding of its purpose. This is like opening up my heart and letting you in on some very personal feelings. I hope you will read them with this in mind. In all I write my hope is to bring a closer feeling to the Prince of Peace, our Savior Jesus Christ, and a greater understanding of our purpose on this earth.

A Woman’s Prayer

Several years ago I, along with many others, became concerned that some women were losing sight of their divine destiny. I was concerned for my daughters, granddaughters, and women of all ages, and wanted to share my feelings about the importance of praying for guidance to become the woman the Lord wanted them, and all of us, to become. To accomplish this I wrote in poetry form the prayer I had in my own heart—a prayer to help me on my own mortal journey, hoping it would help others as well. I titled it A Woman’s Prayer.

Hearing the words of our inspired prophet, apostles, and women leaders in the recent October 2018 general conference I was drawn to reflect upon this poem once again. The words of our leaders regarding women were inspiring and instructive. I refer here specifically to the counsel given at the general women’s session. President Russell M. Nelson said: “My dear sisters, you have spiritual gifts and propensities. … I urge you, with all the hope of my heart, to pray to understand your spiritual gifts—to cultivate, use, and expand them, even more than you ever have. You will change the world as you do.” He ended by saying “I love you and thank you and now bless you with the ability to leave the world behind as you assist in this crucial and urgent work. Together we can do all that our Heavenly Father needs us to do to prepare the world for the Second coming of His beloved Son.”

President Henry B. Eyring helped us understand our purpose as he noted that women, no matter their circumstance, are a key part of the family of God. “Your trust from God is to nurture as many of His and your family members as you can with your love and your faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.”

Sister Joy D. Jones, Primary General President, gave us a clear perspective when she said, “We can make each item on our to-do list become a way to glorify Him. Can we see each task as a privilege and opportunity to serve Him, even when we are in the midst of deadlines, duties, or dirty diapers? … When serving our God becomes our main priority in life, we lose ourselves, and in due course, we find ourselves.”

With these thoughts in mind I hope you will find enjoyment and inspiration in reading my poem.

A WOMAN’S PRAYER

Dear Father, how I want to be
All that thou designed for me,
For in thy plan I know I’ll find
The joy that brings true peace of mind.

Please help me build within my soul
A gentleness with self-control.
And help me ever be aware
Of others who may need my care.

Oh help me learn the gracious art
Of living with a happy heart,
And open up my eyes to see
Thy blessings here on earth for me.

Please cleanse my soul of all past sin,
Let sweet forgiveness enter in,
That I may know the fulness of
My Savior’s pure atoning love.

Dear Father, help me see my worth,
And find a balance here on earth,
Then in each season’s time fulfill
Thy goals that match thy holy will.

And when the world calls out to me
Please help me turn my heart to thee
That I may never sacrifice
The things that matter most in life.

Help me remember who I am,
And somehow fully understand
That I’m a daughter born of thee,
Divine offspring of deity.

— Joy Saunders Lundberg

Adopted

When my husband Gary and I were married we both knew we wanted to have a big family. I had grown up in a family of nine children, so I knew it worked. Gary was one of three boys and thought a bigger family would be a great adventure. As time moved on we discovered that we were not able to have that big family—in fact, not even one child. It was a heartbreaking time for us. We wanted children! So we kept praying and praying and exploring medical options.

Nothing happened until the night, as we knelt to pray, Gary said, “Maybe we’re praying for the wrong thing. Let’s just ask Heavenly Father to bless us with children however he would like.” So we did. A few months later we were able to adopt our first child, a little boy, Michael. Then we adopted our daughter, Lynda. Then another daughter, Carol. A few years later we adopted two baby boys three years apart, John and Paul. At last we had our family and we felt deeply blessed. We adored these precious children, who were each sealed to us in the temple. Now they were ours in every sense of the word.

Each of these children have gained their own testimony of God’s plan for them. They knew the stories well, of how we were guided to each one. Still sometimes it was difficult for them, especially for Lynda as classmates at school were somewhat cruel in their comments to her. One day she came home sobbing and threw herself on her bed. I went to her and held her I my arms. So many times I had explained to her how very much we loved her and how blessed we were to have her for our daughter. That day it seemed almost too much for her to bear. This poem is about our conversation that day.

ADOPTED

“Oh, Mama,” she cried,
Tears flooding precious cheeks.
“They said,” she choked,
“If you’re adopted
Your mother is not your real mother.”
Then pleading,
“Please, tell me the story again..”

Nestled in loving harms,
Secure from the hurt
Of unknowing friends,
The words fell from trembling lips
To hungry little ears.

“Oh, child, how I wanted
To be your birth mother.
I could not,
But I knew you were there
Somewhere.
We prayed, your Daddy and I,
And God guided us to you.

“There you were,
A beautiful baby,
My baby.
I held you close and promised
To love you,
To teach you,
To keep you from harm,
From distress.
And here I am —
Your birth mother, no,
But your real mother
Yes.”

— Joy Saunders Lundberg

My Special Needs Child (formerly titled “My Handicapped Child”)

We didn’t know it at the time, but suspected something might be less than perfect with our little Carol. She was three months old when we adopted her. She had spent those three months in a hospital orphanage without motherly love. When the nurse brought her to us she was expressionless, her eyes spilling over with tears, though she made no sound. We could not get a response from her until I whispered “Would you like me to be your mommy?” At that moment a faint smile crossed her lips. We knew then that she should be ours. And we felt at  peace with our decision.

Still there were many struggles ahead as we discovered the mental disabilities she faced. We worked with her in every way we knew how, relying on doctors, teachers, case workers, and anyone who would give us the help she needed. Many times we felt the hand of the Lord blessing us and her, yet so much of the time we felt overwhelmed and helpless. We knew she was a precious child that God had placed in our care and we felt the responsibility and the blessing. One day I felt the need to write my thoughts about her in a poem. It felt like my testimony and our faith in a bright future for her. These thoughts have helped me keep focused on my role as her mother throughout her life. She is now 56 years old and we still have these same feelings about her.

MY SPECIAL NEEDS CHILD

I see you , my child,
So often trying—
Struggling, crying
And trying again,
Succeeding at times
At what I thought
Would never be,
Yet knowing still
That certain limits may ever be.

That’s when I cry
And wonder, why?
Why you, my own,
My longed-for child?
But I have come to know
The “why” matters not,
The battle must be fought.
And I pray,
“Dear Lord, give me the discipline
To help my child know how to win.”

Then a still small voice
Speaks loud enough for just my heart to hear it,
“Within your child’s restricted frame
Lies a great and noble spirit.
Learn from her, nurture her,
With all your heart and soul.
And one bright day beyond this time
She’ll rise up well and whole.”

— Joy Saunders Lundberg

Forever I Love You

When Gary and I were married we had no idea the challenges we would face. That’s true for all couples. I didn’t realize then that I had married the perfect match for the ones we would face. I had fully planned on blessing his life with children, but I couldn’t. There were serious problems in my reproductive organs that I had no idea were there. One day I apologized to him for not being able to give birth to our children. He said, “I fell in love with you, not your plumbing.”  That made me smile. He reassured me it didn’t matter as long as he still had me. We determined that we would do our best to keep our faith in Jesus Christ and be true to our covenants and then the Lord would help us with whatever the future would bring.

We have now been married 63 years and still feel deeply in love. We prayed through these many years and  have felt guided by the Lord and blessed in handling our challenges, though we both admit we could have done better in some cases. We hope our children forgive us for what we didn’t know then and had to learn (and are still learning) along the way. They all seem to love us anyway—thank goodness! We certainly love and adore them. As for our love for each other, it just seems to grow deeper with every passing year. I wrote this poem several years ago and it still fits this very day.

FOREVER I LOVE YOU

It was many years ago
Kneeling at a sacred altar
We promised that through all our days
Our love would never falter.
At times it seemed the foes of life
Would break us with the strife,
But through the pain and through the fears
We smile and wipe away our tears.

With a gentleness you touch my cheek.
With words so soft I hear you speak,
I love you.
Forever and ever
I love you.

Those early years were hard
As we learned to live in unity.
We held on tight, would not let go.
This love is for eternity.

We shared our feelings as we walked.
We built our bridges as we talked.
We learned to laugh and love and play,
Now peaceful joy is ours today.

With a gentleness you touch my cheek.
With words so soft I hear you speak,
I love you.
Forever and ever
I love you.

— Joy Saunders Lundberg

[Janice Kapp Perry put this poem to music and it became one of the songs in our musical play It’s a Miracle.]

Conclusion

William Wordsworth said, “Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility.” The feelings expressed in the poems I have shared with you today seem to fit this description. It is my hope that they have inspired you in some way and have brought you a portion of peace as you face your own challenges. In all things we have learned that true peace comes from staying on the covenant path and following our Savior, Jesus Christ.