My husband, Bob, was reading aloud from the Book of Mormon the other day and came to a list of the various “-ites” of the day. Then he began to wing it. “The Nephites, the Lamanites, the Ammonites, the Zoramites, the Uptights–”
I had to laugh. It made me wonder what kinds of “-ites” we could have now. And since we need to keep a sense of humor during this challenging time, let’s see if we can imagine what groups we might belong to today:
Meridianites: These are the good guys who read this online magazine!
Hindsites: These are people who learn wisdom after making mistakes. Their foresight is not quite as developed as their hindsight. Sometimes they get mired in regret over past events that can’t be changed. But at least I’m learning. I mean, at least they’re learning- ha!
Pillowfites: These are children who won’t go to bed on time.
Eatrites: These are the folks who follow the Word of Wisdom and take care of their health.
Outtasites: These are the wonderful less active members we never see, but need to reach out to, befriend, and serve.
Campsites: These are the people who loved Scout Camp and still love Girls’ Camp and who wish there could also be Grandparents Camp, Singles Camp, Relief Society Camp, Priesthood Camp, and Ward Choir Camp.
Holdtites: I hope we’re all in this group. These are folks striving to hold tight to the iron rod.
Justrites: These are the happy souls who have overcome perfectionism and embrace their good efforts, just as they know Heavenly Father will. They still strive to do their best, but they know we’re all mortal and we make mistakes. They forgive themselves and know how to celebrate small bits of progress.
Futurefrites: (Actually this one made me think of French fries in France, which are called frittes.) But this one is the group that’s in a complete panic about the future, almost paralyzed by fright. They’re sure the world is collapsing as we speak and have forgotten how hopeful and optimistic our prophets and apostles are.
Backbites: These are the gossips who attack the reputation of someone who is not present. None of us want to join this group, but occasionally find ourselves listening to them more than standing up for the maligned person. We need more character, courage, and resolve, so we don’t find ourselves in the ranks of the Backbites.
Delites: These cheery folks always find the good and spread their uplifting attitude wherever they go. We like having these positive people in our lives. When we join this group, we feel as if we’ll have peace and prosperity for generations.
Of course, in reality we want to be unified like that glorious time in the Book of Mormon when “There were no robbers, nor murderers, neither were there Lamanites, nor any manner of -ites; but they were in one, the children of Christ, and heirs to the kingdom of God.” (4 Nephi 1:17)
So instead of splintering into labels, cliques, and factions pitted against one another, maybe this is a good time to examine the various “-ites” we have become, and take action to embrace those unlike ourselves, to build bridges to other groups, to be better missionaries, and to really do life the way Jesus did, seeking out and loving those who are different. Maybe then we can eliminate most of the “-ites” and simply be “allrites.”
Hilton’s books, humor blog, and Youtube Mom videos can be found on her website. She currently serves as an Inter-Faith Specialist for Church Communications.