We weren't thrilled with our daughter's behavior as a young adult or her choice of husband but maintained a close relationship anyway. When our daughter divorced, she had a young child and one on the way. We quickly invited her to come live with us for the sake of the children. Because she had our support, she had time to care for the children and herself without worrying about insurmountable bills. We did not take care of all her bills, such as her car insurance; she worked out child support and alimony with her ex.
She started dating a few months after the divorce was final. She got married three years after the divorce was final and is doing well. She is now finishing a degree and planning a part-time career. I think it is wise for a parent to help out for a limited number of years in times of crisis, just we hope our children will help us when we're in crisis.
More InputJune 15, 2016
Very wise counsel, Geoff! In addition, this loving mother mentioned finding a new husband. If the daughter is encouraged to seek a new spouse, she may have yet again a failed marriage. The mother should encourage the daughter to heal and become amore healthy person first. The daughter may be needing to learn how to be an adult in this life rather than dependent on someone else caring for her. She should be encouraged to educate or train herself in order to support both herself and her child. Second marriages have an even higher divorce rate that first marriages. The little child does not need to see men coming in and out of this young mother's life. The focus needs to be on what will be emotionally healthy for the little child and the young mother. Dating and finding a new spouse should wait until the child is much older (like ready to graduate high school) ad the young mother needs to raise this child rather than jumping into another marriage. Remember...second marriages have a 70% divorce rate. And the chances of abuse for the child are higher as the mother has men in and out of her life.
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PennyJune 16, 2016
We weren't thrilled with our daughter's behavior as a young adult or her choice of husband but maintained a close relationship anyway. When our daughter divorced, she had a young child and one on the way. We quickly invited her to come live with us for the sake of the children. Because she had our support, she had time to care for the children and herself without worrying about insurmountable bills. We did not take care of all her bills, such as her car insurance; she worked out child support and alimony with her ex. She started dating a few months after the divorce was final. She got married three years after the divorce was final and is doing well. She is now finishing a degree and planning a part-time career. I think it is wise for a parent to help out for a limited number of years in times of crisis, just we hope our children will help us when we're in crisis.
More InputJune 15, 2016
Very wise counsel, Geoff! In addition, this loving mother mentioned finding a new husband. If the daughter is encouraged to seek a new spouse, she may have yet again a failed marriage. The mother should encourage the daughter to heal and become amore healthy person first. The daughter may be needing to learn how to be an adult in this life rather than dependent on someone else caring for her. She should be encouraged to educate or train herself in order to support both herself and her child. Second marriages have an even higher divorce rate that first marriages. The little child does not need to see men coming in and out of this young mother's life. The focus needs to be on what will be emotionally healthy for the little child and the young mother. Dating and finding a new spouse should wait until the child is much older (like ready to graduate high school) ad the young mother needs to raise this child rather than jumping into another marriage. Remember...second marriages have a 70% divorce rate. And the chances of abuse for the child are higher as the mother has men in and out of her life.
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