I think acknowledging and validating the son's hurt is important as well as teaching forgiveness (have a fhe on this and pull out the scriptures, taking turns reading various ones on this topic). Also, at appropriate times, ask him questions to engage him and get him thinking (ie Is his attitude helping him be happy?). You say you're reaching out but are you speaking *his* love language? It makes a big difference. (check your library for the book). I also suggest doing Figure 8s (youtube Donna Eden) and looking into the EmotionCode. There is help available and I hope you find it!
Coleen GoreeOctober 16, 2015
I was in a similar situation years ago but had step-children who had fetal alcohol syndrome. They are smart and graduated school with close to an A average. The problem I had was that their father felt so sorry for them he wouldn't hold them accountable and a lot of times the medical profession supported him. I would try to tell him he wasn't doing them any favors by accepting clearly out of control behaviors but it was to no avail. It's common, I think, that a parent feels sorry they have a marriage that fails- or even in their original choice to marry this person- and they feel the abandonment of the other parent is to blame for the children's behavior. But it does nothing to help the children cope with their disappointments and control their own behaviors. Sadly, in my case the children have grown up and still have severe problems.
Comments | Return to Story
andreaOctober 23, 2015
I think acknowledging and validating the son's hurt is important as well as teaching forgiveness (have a fhe on this and pull out the scriptures, taking turns reading various ones on this topic). Also, at appropriate times, ask him questions to engage him and get him thinking (ie Is his attitude helping him be happy?). You say you're reaching out but are you speaking *his* love language? It makes a big difference. (check your library for the book). I also suggest doing Figure 8s (youtube Donna Eden) and looking into the EmotionCode. There is help available and I hope you find it!
Coleen GoreeOctober 16, 2015
I was in a similar situation years ago but had step-children who had fetal alcohol syndrome. They are smart and graduated school with close to an A average. The problem I had was that their father felt so sorry for them he wouldn't hold them accountable and a lot of times the medical profession supported him. I would try to tell him he wasn't doing them any favors by accepting clearly out of control behaviors but it was to no avail. It's common, I think, that a parent feels sorry they have a marriage that fails- or even in their original choice to marry this person- and they feel the abandonment of the other parent is to blame for the children's behavior. But it does nothing to help the children cope with their disappointments and control their own behaviors. Sadly, in my case the children have grown up and still have severe problems.
ADD A COMMENT