What a beautiful, heartfelt article. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and words.
Rochelle HaleSeptember 2, 2025
"The pain now is part of the happiness then" is another quote attributed to C.S. Lewis.
In Mosiah 18:9, we learn that mourning with others is a covenant we make at baptism.
Alma 28:12 While many thousands of others truly mourn for the loss of their kindred, yet they rejoice and exult in the hope, and even know, according to the promises of the Lord, that they are raised to dwell at the right hand of God, in a state of never-ending happiness.
I am not a mourner or a griever. Do I miss my loved ones who have passed on? Absolutely! Am I sad for those who suffer devastating illness or are even drawn to suicide? Yes! Do I ask many "What if...?" Most assuredly. What if I had called? What if this situation had been different? What could the person in pain have done differently? Was I the best friend, sister, or neighbor that I could have been? Is there something I could have done to prevent a suicide or to offer more comfort during an illness or life challenge?
I sometimes feel guilty that I do not, in a sense, "sit Shiva" as our Jewish friends do. I have not had the "luxury" of leaving all the cares of the world to experience a period of mourning. I do not weep, wail, or become depressed. I have had to be about the business of moving forward (especially after divorce or serious illness). In many cases, I have had to be strong for others who did not have a sense of hope or a real understanding of what life after life might involve, and who did not share the same belief that they could someday see and live with their loved ones again.
For many, deep grief goes on for years and years. After the suicide of a child, one relative sought insight from various religions, counseling, and even psychic readings in an effort to be comforted and to gain some idea of life after death.
We grieve because we love. I don't believe I love less because I do not openly express my mourning. I will never forget the joy of returning to my grandmother's hospital room, as others were leaving, to give her one last hug and whisper words of reassurance. I regret that circumstances were not such that I could do the same when my own mother passed. Nevertheless, I am grateful that my mother's suffering did not continue.
I cannot imagine how our Heavenly Father watched His Son suffer unthinkable things, yet the love of both of them was all for us. We can put our hope in their joyful and eternal plan.
Comments | Return to Story
LindaSeptember 2, 2025
What a beautiful, heartfelt article. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and words.
Rochelle HaleSeptember 2, 2025
"The pain now is part of the happiness then" is another quote attributed to C.S. Lewis. In Mosiah 18:9, we learn that mourning with others is a covenant we make at baptism. Alma 28:12 While many thousands of others truly mourn for the loss of their kindred, yet they rejoice and exult in the hope, and even know, according to the promises of the Lord, that they are raised to dwell at the right hand of God, in a state of never-ending happiness. I am not a mourner or a griever. Do I miss my loved ones who have passed on? Absolutely! Am I sad for those who suffer devastating illness or are even drawn to suicide? Yes! Do I ask many "What if...?" Most assuredly. What if I had called? What if this situation had been different? What could the person in pain have done differently? Was I the best friend, sister, or neighbor that I could have been? Is there something I could have done to prevent a suicide or to offer more comfort during an illness or life challenge? I sometimes feel guilty that I do not, in a sense, "sit Shiva" as our Jewish friends do. I have not had the "luxury" of leaving all the cares of the world to experience a period of mourning. I do not weep, wail, or become depressed. I have had to be about the business of moving forward (especially after divorce or serious illness). In many cases, I have had to be strong for others who did not have a sense of hope or a real understanding of what life after life might involve, and who did not share the same belief that they could someday see and live with their loved ones again. For many, deep grief goes on for years and years. After the suicide of a child, one relative sought insight from various religions, counseling, and even psychic readings in an effort to be comforted and to gain some idea of life after death. We grieve because we love. I don't believe I love less because I do not openly express my mourning. I will never forget the joy of returning to my grandmother's hospital room, as others were leaving, to give her one last hug and whisper words of reassurance. I regret that circumstances were not such that I could do the same when my own mother passed. Nevertheless, I am grateful that my mother's suffering did not continue. I cannot imagine how our Heavenly Father watched His Son suffer unthinkable things, yet the love of both of them was all for us. We can put our hope in their joyful and eternal plan.
Mary Jo BellSeptember 2, 2025
Thank you for these great insights.
ADD A COMMENT