My son experienced a similar situation. He chose to go to court---the judge made CLEAR to his wife the rules of visitation. That solved the problem, and it was NOT expensive. Perhaps it was some sort of mediation intervention. Since two years have passed since your divorce, I don't believe your actions alone will change your husband's behavior. You definitely need a mediator. You should not be in a position where you have to keep begging for the kid's clothes! After all this time, your husband is still determined to make you miserable. He knows exactly what he is doing. Do some digging and find out if there is a low cost way to settle this. Go prepared with a list of every way he is breaking the visitation agreement. Otherwise, this will continue to bog you down, and you have enough on your shoulders. You will be surprised at how quickly he backs down when he knows you have support and that you will not tolerate his behavior any longer.
MicheleMarch 28, 2026
I've been through this, and when he remarried it became worse as she he let her take the reins. My suggestion is to put the concerns in writing. Can't mistake the written word, it's documentation if needed and it takes even more stress off of you since in a discussion you can be drawn in to an argument if his goal is to get under your skin, conscious of doing so or not.
Dave DuncanMay 31, 2024
There are lots of resources for helping to deal with situations like this. OurFamilyWizard, for example, can help with communications in high conflict divorces/custody disputes like those in this article. And it can be had for free, if needed. There are free legal clinics often associated with law schools. If you are in Utah, make an appointment for free legal advice at timplegal.org (BYULaw) or law.utah.edu/pro-bono-initiative/ (ULaw).
KarenMay 31, 2024
If he doesn't send back their clothes tell him he needs wash them so that they are ready for when they come the next time. Why do you need to send more clothes when he already has their clothes. Or you could explain that if he threw them out, he will need to buy them more clothes to wear. Not in a confrontaional manner but somethinhg like, you have their clothes from the last visit so I haven't sent any with them this time.
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MaryannMarch 30, 2026
My son experienced a similar situation. He chose to go to court---the judge made CLEAR to his wife the rules of visitation. That solved the problem, and it was NOT expensive. Perhaps it was some sort of mediation intervention. Since two years have passed since your divorce, I don't believe your actions alone will change your husband's behavior. You definitely need a mediator. You should not be in a position where you have to keep begging for the kid's clothes! After all this time, your husband is still determined to make you miserable. He knows exactly what he is doing. Do some digging and find out if there is a low cost way to settle this. Go prepared with a list of every way he is breaking the visitation agreement. Otherwise, this will continue to bog you down, and you have enough on your shoulders. You will be surprised at how quickly he backs down when he knows you have support and that you will not tolerate his behavior any longer.
MicheleMarch 28, 2026
I've been through this, and when he remarried it became worse as she he let her take the reins. My suggestion is to put the concerns in writing. Can't mistake the written word, it's documentation if needed and it takes even more stress off of you since in a discussion you can be drawn in to an argument if his goal is to get under your skin, conscious of doing so or not.
Dave DuncanMay 31, 2024
There are lots of resources for helping to deal with situations like this. OurFamilyWizard, for example, can help with communications in high conflict divorces/custody disputes like those in this article. And it can be had for free, if needed. There are free legal clinics often associated with law schools. If you are in Utah, make an appointment for free legal advice at timplegal.org (BYULaw) or law.utah.edu/pro-bono-initiative/ (ULaw).
KarenMay 31, 2024
If he doesn't send back their clothes tell him he needs wash them so that they are ready for when they come the next time. Why do you need to send more clothes when he already has their clothes. Or you could explain that if he threw them out, he will need to buy them more clothes to wear. Not in a confrontaional manner but somethinhg like, you have their clothes from the last visit so I haven't sent any with them this time.
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