So true, Joni. I had to set boundaries with some family members, in a legal situation. I wrote each of them two letters. The first letter outlined what I recalled happened, what their responses were, and my apologies if I misunderstood and my desire to understand what they viewed as important to them personally through this experience. Next I sent a letter expounding my love for each of them individually, expressing my feelings of gratitude for so many blessings and the accompanying joy that we experienced together in the past, and how I was finding strength through the current situation, which was also a shared experience and one in which we were each reacting differently, for various reasons. In one case this smoothed things over. I'm not sure about the other case yet.
MaryannAugust 4, 2023
While we know we are not required to condone the harm that has been done to us or to pretend it didn't hurt, I think it is helpful to remember that we have only seen a tiny fraction of who that person is and what they have experienced. So many times they are acting out of their own fears and pain. No, that doesn't make their harmful actions ok. But it might help us to be a little more understanding about their behavior. We can also be thankful for the fact that our pain caused by others can help us appreciate all the Savior suffered for us. He was completely innocent, yet continually persecuted, and he forgave.
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CynthiaAugust 5, 2023
So true, Joni. I had to set boundaries with some family members, in a legal situation. I wrote each of them two letters. The first letter outlined what I recalled happened, what their responses were, and my apologies if I misunderstood and my desire to understand what they viewed as important to them personally through this experience. Next I sent a letter expounding my love for each of them individually, expressing my feelings of gratitude for so many blessings and the accompanying joy that we experienced together in the past, and how I was finding strength through the current situation, which was also a shared experience and one in which we were each reacting differently, for various reasons. In one case this smoothed things over. I'm not sure about the other case yet.
MaryannAugust 4, 2023
While we know we are not required to condone the harm that has been done to us or to pretend it didn't hurt, I think it is helpful to remember that we have only seen a tiny fraction of who that person is and what they have experienced. So many times they are acting out of their own fears and pain. No, that doesn't make their harmful actions ok. But it might help us to be a little more understanding about their behavior. We can also be thankful for the fact that our pain caused by others can help us appreciate all the Savior suffered for us. He was completely innocent, yet continually persecuted, and he forgave.
WallyAugust 4, 2023
Thank you, Joni!
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