Your article was interesting. One thing it failed to mention was how you become filled with the love of God. It is through serving others and losing yourself that you actually find yourself. You can't fill yourself with love unless you serve and love others. Also you can't love other people because you expect their love back you love other people because you're like she's as Christ not because you're expecting to get something back. That's when love becomes like his love not like out selfish love which needs a response back.
Lorie AFebruary 14, 2014
What a profound article. Yes, we do expect others to give us what they don't have when we are in a relationship with someone who has an addiction. Those in an active addiction do not have what it takes to be in a healthy relationship. This is one of the reasons families get ripped apart. The non-addict expects basic human decency, and the addict is unable to provide it.
Unfortunately, you do not know that someone is unable give what you are needing from them until they have failed to give it to you. The end result is the same as someone who has something to give but chooses not to give it to you. In both cases, you don't get what you need from them.
However the way I feel about the end result is different. If I know someone just does not have it to give, I am more understanding. Less demanding. I am also less likely to take offense and pass a moral judgment on them.
I think Darla's point is that we don't really know if someone is capable or just choosing not to give. That is why we need to be filled with God's love. Besides His love will help fill those needs we are trying to get met elsewhere.
redcrossFebruary 9, 2014
My spouse may not be capable of supplying me with what i need, but that doesn't stop me from needing it.
Steve DFebruary 8, 2014
I have this on my bathroom mirror: "Acts 3:6 Then Peter said, Silver and gold have I non; but such as I have give I thee... Steve, you can't buy the love of your wife, your family, your God, your friends your Church, your neighbors, or the world. You do not now have nor will you ever have the means; even if it could be done. But such as you have received, give, just like Peter. Those "regifted items" are actually what those others really want...and where you, Steve, will find true happiness."
DianeFebruary 7, 2014
Darla, I always look forward to your articles! You are always so insightful and spot on with what I need to hear! Once again, I have loved what you've written and you have motivated me to be a better person. Thank you so much.
Diane
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KalyOctober 8, 2017
Your article was interesting. One thing it failed to mention was how you become filled with the love of God. It is through serving others and losing yourself that you actually find yourself. You can't fill yourself with love unless you serve and love others. Also you can't love other people because you expect their love back you love other people because you're like she's as Christ not because you're expecting to get something back. That's when love becomes like his love not like out selfish love which needs a response back.
Lorie AFebruary 14, 2014
What a profound article. Yes, we do expect others to give us what they don't have when we are in a relationship with someone who has an addiction. Those in an active addiction do not have what it takes to be in a healthy relationship. This is one of the reasons families get ripped apart. The non-addict expects basic human decency, and the addict is unable to provide it. Unfortunately, you do not know that someone is unable give what you are needing from them until they have failed to give it to you. The end result is the same as someone who has something to give but chooses not to give it to you. In both cases, you don't get what you need from them. However the way I feel about the end result is different. If I know someone just does not have it to give, I am more understanding. Less demanding. I am also less likely to take offense and pass a moral judgment on them. I think Darla's point is that we don't really know if someone is capable or just choosing not to give. That is why we need to be filled with God's love. Besides His love will help fill those needs we are trying to get met elsewhere.
redcrossFebruary 9, 2014
My spouse may not be capable of supplying me with what i need, but that doesn't stop me from needing it.
Steve DFebruary 8, 2014
I have this on my bathroom mirror: "Acts 3:6 Then Peter said, Silver and gold have I non; but such as I have give I thee... Steve, you can't buy the love of your wife, your family, your God, your friends your Church, your neighbors, or the world. You do not now have nor will you ever have the means; even if it could be done. But such as you have received, give, just like Peter. Those "regifted items" are actually what those others really want...and where you, Steve, will find true happiness."
DianeFebruary 7, 2014
Darla, I always look forward to your articles! You are always so insightful and spot on with what I need to hear! Once again, I have loved what you've written and you have motivated me to be a better person. Thank you so much. Diane
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