Given how many grown (and married) men still have no clue about female anatomy, having a conversation like this saved this couple years of heartache. There are still many women out there who don't know their own anatomy! We've been fed the trope so many times about how only bad girls want sex that if we don't get specific teachings about how there's nothing wrong with a righteous wife having sexual desires, along with the information that addresses the physiology of female arousal, the sexual dysfunction that leads to unhealthy marriages will continue unabated.
Curtis, et al, I'm guessing you were never given that crucial information, and are thinking that you were just fine for it. Your wives may have a different take on the situation. Would it have disturbed you as much to have a parent who is an expert on a different matter to make sure the young couple were taught other need-to-know things to make their marriage successful? Or is it the s-e-x part? If it's the latter, sounds like you have your own issues surrounding the issue.
ObserverMay 23, 2018
Wow. What a nervy mother-in-law. I would not have appreciated what amounts to an almost forced conversation about such intimate matters at the beginning of my marriage. I can tell her intentions are good, but she sounds overbearing in this case.
ShayMay 23, 2018
The soon to be married couple obviously felt uncomfortable, but it was for a wise purpose. If you don't feel inclined to do this as a parent, don't. If this touched your heart as the right thing to do, then do. Obviously this was the right thing for the mom to do with these two. The young husband was grateful and it has the possibility to help other young people to gain insight that they can find useful. Hopefully no parent would have this conversation without the Spirit. That is the most important part.
Thank you for this article!
KMay 22, 2018
I have to side with Curtis on this. Intimacy is a couple's business, not mom's, the church's, the bishop's etc. There is no list of do's and don'ts. A couple decides what works for them and let's the Spirit rule the day. Respect and love for each other in all ways makes things work. Have these conversations long before the I do's. Will save a lot of issues from suddenly appearing.
Jane WMay 22, 2018
A realistic ralk about sexuality after the wedding is a wonderful idea and this couple is lucky to have had a mother/mother in law so qualified and willing to have this talk. We need to talk about this whole topic in a way that takes the shame and mystery out of it. Sex is a wonderful part of marriage if it is approached and viewed that way and the education this couple received is valuable and appropriate.
AnonMay 21, 2018
I agree with Curtis. I’m disturbed by the entire article.
Curtis CoeMay 21, 2018
This is a slightly disturbing article. Neither of these two young people asked for these discussions, and did not participate willingly, she admitted she forced her opinions on them, and she had no place having the talk with her son-in-law. Also, as follow-up, she says they have a good sexual and intimate relationship now in their marriage. How does she know that and why does she feel it is still her place to pry into their intimate relationship before and after their marriage?
BeccaMay 21, 2018
Fantastic! I wish someone had had this sort of conversation with me and my husband before we married! We do need to do a better job at church and at home to prepare our children for healthy sexuality in marriage, articles like this are a great resource.
MichaelMay 21, 2018
Other conversations that need to be held include sex history, drug use, abuse, debt, and mental illness-not in that particular order but these are critical issues that can make or break a marriage. They can ultimately be the difference between eternal bliss or eternal heartache. How do you think I know these things?
KMay 21, 2018
These conversations should be held between the couple getting married before they even get engaged. Talking about it just before the wedding day is a bit late. In today's world, couples need to be upfront and informed about each other, including likes and desires, before making such a huge commitment or getting engaged.
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ElizabethMay 25, 2018
Given how many grown (and married) men still have no clue about female anatomy, having a conversation like this saved this couple years of heartache. There are still many women out there who don't know their own anatomy! We've been fed the trope so many times about how only bad girls want sex that if we don't get specific teachings about how there's nothing wrong with a righteous wife having sexual desires, along with the information that addresses the physiology of female arousal, the sexual dysfunction that leads to unhealthy marriages will continue unabated. Curtis, et al, I'm guessing you were never given that crucial information, and are thinking that you were just fine for it. Your wives may have a different take on the situation. Would it have disturbed you as much to have a parent who is an expert on a different matter to make sure the young couple were taught other need-to-know things to make their marriage successful? Or is it the s-e-x part? If it's the latter, sounds like you have your own issues surrounding the issue.
ObserverMay 23, 2018
Wow. What a nervy mother-in-law. I would not have appreciated what amounts to an almost forced conversation about such intimate matters at the beginning of my marriage. I can tell her intentions are good, but she sounds overbearing in this case.
ShayMay 23, 2018
The soon to be married couple obviously felt uncomfortable, but it was for a wise purpose. If you don't feel inclined to do this as a parent, don't. If this touched your heart as the right thing to do, then do. Obviously this was the right thing for the mom to do with these two. The young husband was grateful and it has the possibility to help other young people to gain insight that they can find useful. Hopefully no parent would have this conversation without the Spirit. That is the most important part. Thank you for this article!
KMay 22, 2018
I have to side with Curtis on this. Intimacy is a couple's business, not mom's, the church's, the bishop's etc. There is no list of do's and don'ts. A couple decides what works for them and let's the Spirit rule the day. Respect and love for each other in all ways makes things work. Have these conversations long before the I do's. Will save a lot of issues from suddenly appearing.
Jane WMay 22, 2018
A realistic ralk about sexuality after the wedding is a wonderful idea and this couple is lucky to have had a mother/mother in law so qualified and willing to have this talk. We need to talk about this whole topic in a way that takes the shame and mystery out of it. Sex is a wonderful part of marriage if it is approached and viewed that way and the education this couple received is valuable and appropriate.
AnonMay 21, 2018
I agree with Curtis. I’m disturbed by the entire article.
Curtis CoeMay 21, 2018
This is a slightly disturbing article. Neither of these two young people asked for these discussions, and did not participate willingly, she admitted she forced her opinions on them, and she had no place having the talk with her son-in-law. Also, as follow-up, she says they have a good sexual and intimate relationship now in their marriage. How does she know that and why does she feel it is still her place to pry into their intimate relationship before and after their marriage?
BeccaMay 21, 2018
Fantastic! I wish someone had had this sort of conversation with me and my husband before we married! We do need to do a better job at church and at home to prepare our children for healthy sexuality in marriage, articles like this are a great resource.
MichaelMay 21, 2018
Other conversations that need to be held include sex history, drug use, abuse, debt, and mental illness-not in that particular order but these are critical issues that can make or break a marriage. They can ultimately be the difference between eternal bliss or eternal heartache. How do you think I know these things?
KMay 21, 2018
These conversations should be held between the couple getting married before they even get engaged. Talking about it just before the wedding day is a bit late. In today's world, couples need to be upfront and informed about each other, including likes and desires, before making such a huge commitment or getting engaged.
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