As a child, my family lived in an area with a predominant Christian religion other than ours. I was the only LDS student in my elementary school. Several parents in the neighborhood, believing the anti-Mormon trash that has always been readily available, would not allow their children to play with me, or associate with me, even at school. Despite knowing that their attitudes were toward my religion, not me personally, I felt like a bad person, unworthy of those of the other religion. Years of playing by myself or only with the other kids no one liked dramatically affected me. I've spent my life trying to get over the feeling that I'm not as good as anyone else because I'm Mormon. I know the gospel is true and I've been active my whole life, serving a mission and in many callings. However, that feeling of deep-seated unworthiness is hard to eradicate.
It breaks my heart to think that church members may do the same thing to someone else's children. I pray that we can be true disciples of Christ and represent his love and inclusiveness to others.
WizardOfOzAugust 14, 2017
Really? Dressing up for Seminary extra credit days....this is why early morning Seminary should be the practice church wide.
Sheila HutchinsonAugust 14, 2017
So, you think she should move because...Mormons? Maybe they can't move. Maybe there is a job someone has to hold down so their kids can go to school and have a place to live and food on the table. If you can't see this for what it is, a request to be treated like people who matter and are in the minority, then there is something terribly wrong. Are you really this isolationist? Do you not invite non-Mormons to sleepovers? Do you not allow non-Mormons to visit your home? Cause if that is the case, how do show them the love of Christ you profess?
Wendy PayneAugust 14, 2017
Charlie, perhaps they have a family legacy in Gilbert; perhaps they like it there; perhaps this is only the public culmination of years of reaching out to un-hearing Mormon kids and families. What kind of picture does it present of us Mormons if we ask why people don't just move to their own place and let us proclaim our town, i.e. Gilbert, a Mormon town, no strangers welcome?
KevinAugust 14, 2017
Are you really saying if you don't like it move? If so you are part of the problem. In situations like this the intent of others isn't really important. We should accept that this family felt left out and figure out how to change that. I doubt anyone intended to leave her out. Nevertheless she feels that way so we should try and fix it.
ScottHAugust 14, 2017
I read the entire letter. It is very heartfelt and it seems to convey good intent. The writer is only asking for a little more consideration of people in her situation, especially with respect to children. Anyone who has been on the outside of a dominant culture ought to be able to identify with this this desire. I feel that most Latter-day Saints that live in predominately Mormon areas would readily admit that we could do a better job of loving, respecting, and including our neighbors who believe differently. The suggestion that non-Mormons who feel excluded move to communities more hospitable to them are offensive to those in the minority and ought to be offensive to Mormons in the majority who believe that the gospel includes the Savior's admonition to love our neighbors.
HalAugust 14, 2017
I read this article with no small degree of sadness. I am certain there are many non-LDS families that feel isolated in their predominantly LDS communities. That said, I also feel like this issue cuts both ways; there are many people, both inside the LDS church and without, who take offense when none is intended or even implied. To my dear friends who may misinterpret my words and actions, I would like to explain a few things:
• When I extend an invitation to you to learn more about my beliefs, it is because I care deeply for you. I believe that our friendships and associations in this life can continue after the death of our mortal bodies. Sharing my beliefs with you is my way of saying I want to continue the loving association we have with you in the life beyond. Please understand that my beliefs are tightly interwoven in every aspect of my life. When I speak of my church calling, my perspectives on life, or voice my deeply held convictions, it is not to be judgmental; it is just who I am.
• Just as I am not offended if you decline my invitation to attend a church function, please do not be offended if we (or our children) politely decline your invitation to see an R-rated movie or attend a party / have dinner at a venue where we don’t feel comfortable.
• Please don’t be hurt or offended if our child politely declines an invitation for a sleep-over with your child for the simple reason that our family does not participate in “sleep-overs” even with other LDS friends.
• Know that our children are free to associate with and even date their non-LDS friends, but also understand that we have taught them that the ultimate purpose in this life is to create and nurture an eternal family that is sealed together for eternity in the House of the Lord. Sometimes that goal conflicts with their relationships with their non-LDS boy/girlfriends. This dilemma is not uncommon even among other religions, races, socio-economic strata, and other situations that differentiate us from each other.
• We have a son who married outside of the LDS temple, but that has never diminished our love for him, his beautiful wife, and our precious grandchildren. It has also never diminished our own faith and belief in our religion. Our relationship with our son and his family continues to blossom in spite of the fact that our respective religious beliefs and practices are not congruent. The same goes for our less-active and non-LDS friends and neighbors.
• Most people are friends with those with whom they share some common interest. I have close friendships with people who enjoy bicycling, hiking, camping, and gardening regardless of whether they are LDS or not. On the other hand, I don’t much care for golf, basketball, football, etc., so I don’t participate in those activities even with LDS people. That’s just human nature, not something that is exclusive to LDS people. If you and I don’t “hit it off,” it’s probably not because of our religious beliefs.
We love our less-active and non-LDS neighbors, coworkers and classmates. We are hurt to find out that they don’t feel included in activities. Maybe more open discussions like this might help to narrow the gap between us. These are my personal views and may not be shared by all members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but I think the general idea is there.
CharlieBrown2292August 14, 2017
I feel sorry for this lady, and our Church members do need to learn to love and accept their neighbors regardless of whether they belong to the Church or not. Otherwise, we have not fully understood what it means to be true Christians and "love thine non-Mormon neighbor as thyself'. On the other hand, what kept this woman and her husband from moving out of Gilbert towards a more versatile community, rather than spend so many years suffering in silence and getting their kids hurt in the process?
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ViolaAugust 15, 2017
As a child, my family lived in an area with a predominant Christian religion other than ours. I was the only LDS student in my elementary school. Several parents in the neighborhood, believing the anti-Mormon trash that has always been readily available, would not allow their children to play with me, or associate with me, even at school. Despite knowing that their attitudes were toward my religion, not me personally, I felt like a bad person, unworthy of those of the other religion. Years of playing by myself or only with the other kids no one liked dramatically affected me. I've spent my life trying to get over the feeling that I'm not as good as anyone else because I'm Mormon. I know the gospel is true and I've been active my whole life, serving a mission and in many callings. However, that feeling of deep-seated unworthiness is hard to eradicate. It breaks my heart to think that church members may do the same thing to someone else's children. I pray that we can be true disciples of Christ and represent his love and inclusiveness to others.
WizardOfOzAugust 14, 2017
Really? Dressing up for Seminary extra credit days....this is why early morning Seminary should be the practice church wide.
Sheila HutchinsonAugust 14, 2017
So, you think she should move because...Mormons? Maybe they can't move. Maybe there is a job someone has to hold down so their kids can go to school and have a place to live and food on the table. If you can't see this for what it is, a request to be treated like people who matter and are in the minority, then there is something terribly wrong. Are you really this isolationist? Do you not invite non-Mormons to sleepovers? Do you not allow non-Mormons to visit your home? Cause if that is the case, how do show them the love of Christ you profess?
Wendy PayneAugust 14, 2017
Charlie, perhaps they have a family legacy in Gilbert; perhaps they like it there; perhaps this is only the public culmination of years of reaching out to un-hearing Mormon kids and families. What kind of picture does it present of us Mormons if we ask why people don't just move to their own place and let us proclaim our town, i.e. Gilbert, a Mormon town, no strangers welcome?
KevinAugust 14, 2017
Are you really saying if you don't like it move? If so you are part of the problem. In situations like this the intent of others isn't really important. We should accept that this family felt left out and figure out how to change that. I doubt anyone intended to leave her out. Nevertheless she feels that way so we should try and fix it.
ScottHAugust 14, 2017
I read the entire letter. It is very heartfelt and it seems to convey good intent. The writer is only asking for a little more consideration of people in her situation, especially with respect to children. Anyone who has been on the outside of a dominant culture ought to be able to identify with this this desire. I feel that most Latter-day Saints that live in predominately Mormon areas would readily admit that we could do a better job of loving, respecting, and including our neighbors who believe differently. The suggestion that non-Mormons who feel excluded move to communities more hospitable to them are offensive to those in the minority and ought to be offensive to Mormons in the majority who believe that the gospel includes the Savior's admonition to love our neighbors.
HalAugust 14, 2017
I read this article with no small degree of sadness. I am certain there are many non-LDS families that feel isolated in their predominantly LDS communities. That said, I also feel like this issue cuts both ways; there are many people, both inside the LDS church and without, who take offense when none is intended or even implied. To my dear friends who may misinterpret my words and actions, I would like to explain a few things: • When I extend an invitation to you to learn more about my beliefs, it is because I care deeply for you. I believe that our friendships and associations in this life can continue after the death of our mortal bodies. Sharing my beliefs with you is my way of saying I want to continue the loving association we have with you in the life beyond. Please understand that my beliefs are tightly interwoven in every aspect of my life. When I speak of my church calling, my perspectives on life, or voice my deeply held convictions, it is not to be judgmental; it is just who I am. • Just as I am not offended if you decline my invitation to attend a church function, please do not be offended if we (or our children) politely decline your invitation to see an R-rated movie or attend a party / have dinner at a venue where we don’t feel comfortable. • Please don’t be hurt or offended if our child politely declines an invitation for a sleep-over with your child for the simple reason that our family does not participate in “sleep-overs” even with other LDS friends. • Know that our children are free to associate with and even date their non-LDS friends, but also understand that we have taught them that the ultimate purpose in this life is to create and nurture an eternal family that is sealed together for eternity in the House of the Lord. Sometimes that goal conflicts with their relationships with their non-LDS boy/girlfriends. This dilemma is not uncommon even among other religions, races, socio-economic strata, and other situations that differentiate us from each other. • We have a son who married outside of the LDS temple, but that has never diminished our love for him, his beautiful wife, and our precious grandchildren. It has also never diminished our own faith and belief in our religion. Our relationship with our son and his family continues to blossom in spite of the fact that our respective religious beliefs and practices are not congruent. The same goes for our less-active and non-LDS friends and neighbors. • Most people are friends with those with whom they share some common interest. I have close friendships with people who enjoy bicycling, hiking, camping, and gardening regardless of whether they are LDS or not. On the other hand, I don’t much care for golf, basketball, football, etc., so I don’t participate in those activities even with LDS people. That’s just human nature, not something that is exclusive to LDS people. If you and I don’t “hit it off,” it’s probably not because of our religious beliefs. We love our less-active and non-LDS neighbors, coworkers and classmates. We are hurt to find out that they don’t feel included in activities. Maybe more open discussions like this might help to narrow the gap between us. These are my personal views and may not be shared by all members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, but I think the general idea is there.
CharlieBrown2292August 14, 2017
I feel sorry for this lady, and our Church members do need to learn to love and accept their neighbors regardless of whether they belong to the Church or not. Otherwise, we have not fully understood what it means to be true Christians and "love thine non-Mormon neighbor as thyself'. On the other hand, what kept this woman and her husband from moving out of Gilbert towards a more versatile community, rather than spend so many years suffering in silence and getting their kids hurt in the process?
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