Excellent article, now write another titled "What a man wants in his future wife" which I'm sure will be equally enlightening for women.
Great article! I'm sending this to our granddaughters who are in their 20s.
I'm been in a second marriage for 8 years, my husband is 81 and I'm 72. He had a good 1st marriage; mine had some of the problems you've mentioned that got worse, not better. My 2nd husband "passed your test" with flying colors; we've both helped each other become better people than we were before.
LOVED the quote about rushing toward God and if you meet someone on the way, introduce yourself!
Well written and a great guide for both men and women. I'd like to add, and you touched on it, is the use of profanity. No woman (or man) wants to hear the "F" or the "B" word used every other word. It's not attractive at all. Want to know something that is attractive?? Men who use and honors their Priesthood.
Katrina : This is an attention grabber and should be posted and shared everywhere. You’ve covered most everything very thoroughly. I have found that women value men who make and keep promises (or at least make their best effort to do so). They also appreciate integrity to God by making and keeping covenants made ‘before God, Angels and other witnesses. That is the highest kind of integrity and is irreplaceable by any other quality. Among those kinds of promises are “I will see you @ 5:00 pm at Jamba Juice or wherever you say you’re goin to do and be at. Don’t be cheap and take a young woman out and buy her a hot chocolate because you don’t want to spring for the cost. A woman is a queen and a treasure. Peanut butter sandwiches ware for later when she knows you care more about her than the cost of the evening.
Don’t be the person who indicates they might be interested in meeting up with you - only to find that he/she had you stacked on a pile of “possible activities” and that being with you became a lesser priority “ooops at the last minute”. Like that person is not going to know that you ditched them for someone or something else higher on your stacked list of activities.
I’m 61, I am the father of 5 girls and a former bishop. I married my high school sweetheart; I served an honorable mission and she went to school and dated a few guys while I was gone - but just to pass the time. We made and kept commitments and covenants made to one another and God thus gaining trust that our word meant something reliable.
Life and marriage are extremely difficult and unless you are an “all in” type of character, your promise won’t be strong enough to get you through the hard times.
Skip Drinkwater (from Jersey - we say what we are thinking).
This is one of the best articles I’ve ever read! Excellent thoughts and truths!! I’m saving it for my teenage boys to read ;)
May I reach to you and give you a hug for being so up front and honest and so spot on?! Everything and I mean everything you said is 100% the truth. I have dealt with a few grown men (45-?) Who sit in front of the computer playing games or surfing the web. One in particular when married to for very short time (1 1/2 years) also either printed out articles and made me read them pointing out that this was I needed to be in order to fulfill his needs. This was pretty much on a constant daily basis. Very few of these articles ever came from a general member of the and even if they did, they would twist things around to make it as if they were the victim. Or, I wasn't constantly lectured of what I needed to do and take full responsibility of their needs saying I was to blame for their grief. Don't get me started on the Single adult dances. Talk about pathetic. I ended up walking away years ago and I have never looked back. For a person at my age (58), yes unfortunately it does happen, it seems to me either the brethren and sisters who are single still feel that the main importance for them is that the person to look a certain way. If they feel the person doesn't live up to their standards physically then adios. Never mind being righteous or spiritual, that is not a priority to them. Please don't misunderstand me, yes it is attractive to do the best that you can with what you been blessed with to be presentable and taking care of one's self. But most important as you so eloquent out it, if Heavenly Father isn't placed first above anything or anyone, it will not work for me. You cannot live a life with one foot out the door and the other one in and expect that a relationship will work out for you. Like a beloved Prophet once stated, "you are either all in 100% with regards to living the Gospel or a relationship or not, there is no gray area." President Gordon B Hinkley.
I found this article to be very enlightening. In fact, I have taken several linies from it and entered them into my quotation file. You are a gifted writer, and I hope I will see more articles from you on human relations.
Wow, what a checklist. If any man can measure up to all this, where will he find a woman to meet that does as well? I think focusing on about three things would be more helpful that dumping the whole load on single guys. The reason I say that is I was a single guy once myself, many years ago, and was blessed to marry well. Even back then there was no lack of advice for young men and what they needed to do to become "husband material." These are good thoughts---there's just so many of them.
Some good points made. On being romantic, an incident from years ago gives me some insight.
Once in a while I would phone a florist and have ONE red rose delivered to my wife at home. She liked it. One day I was quite busy and had my secretary make the call. She did with one small change!
I arrived home and was met at the door by an irate wife; Who asked me "What did you do this time?" My secretary had made the change from one red rose to a dozen red roses.
Ooopsie! My wife had thought I had don something "bad"!
EXCELLENT ARTICLE!! And...I'm a woman and saw personal weaknesses that I have and areas where I need to improve in EVERY one of your points. This advice is not just for men but for all mankind! I'm printing this one and I'm going to study it and mark it up and take it as scripture in my own life. Thank you for your insight and inspiration and motivation to make my life better from the inside out!
Thank you, Katrina, for a most enlightening and inspiring article. Might I say that this advice holds true for not only those looking for that special someone with whom to spend eternity but also for those of us who have found that we have slipped in many of these aspects in our later years of marriage. You have provided a great roadmap for all of us to see where we are and hopefully change our course if needs be.
And one suggestion for women who are dating: Do not talk down to men, and assume that we are all dumb.
Email (will not be published)
Daily news, articles, videos and podcasts sent straight to your inbox.