Toward the end of the 19th century, two missionaries serving in Brisbane, Australia, met a young man who seemed curious and willing to listen.
But rather than jumping in and immediately talking about the First Vision, the Restoration or the Book of Mormon, the missionaries started by asking questions.
Easy, conversational questions about … the young man.
They found out he was a star cricket player in the city and a member of the Australian Temperance Union.
Not as common as they once were, such organizations agitated against the use of alcohol.
Guess where that steered the conversation!
After learning about the Word of Wisdom, the man said, “That’s great stuff. What else do you have?”
When I get to the other side, I intend to look up those two missionaries and thank them for being smart enough to learn about the person they were talking to before saying something about themselves and our beliefs.
For, you see, that man is my great-grandfather and that is how my patriarchal line came into the Church.
Easy, conversational questions got the ball rolling.
The point: Everyone likes to talk about themselves. Encourage them.
The right kind of questions tell the person it’s okay to talk about himself.
Where did you grow up?
What is your profession?
Where did you go to school?
What did you major in?
What led you to study that?
How did you decide your occupation?
How did you meet your wife/husband?
And at the right time …
Did your folks take you to church when you were young?
Do you still belong to that church?
What did you like most about attending church?
Over the years, what has become your favorite belief?
Anything you found confusing or unclear?
And so on.
Know your friend’s perspective so you’re better able to explain our own.
Because the better you know a person’s unique story – events, interests, plans, concerns – the more you will sense what comments to drop into the conversation will trigger curiosity about our beliefs.
Then, in many cases, the person will return the favor. And when you tell your story, you will both recognize commonalities.
Commonalities build trust and trust leads to a comfortable atmosphere to discuss religious topics without the person feeling pressure.
The more we learn about someone, the easier it becomes to love him or her, which is, of course, Christ’s commandment.
Stepping stones.
Gary Lawrence is a public opinion researcher and author, most recently of Millions Believe As We Do But Haven’t Yet Found the Church.
