Family

Our final thoughts on the Priesthood Moving Company come mostly from men, and most of them are in favor of the tradition of moving fellow ward members in and out of their homes.  Thanks for a rousing topic.  Now let’s see what these last letters have to say:

I just wanted you to know how much I have enjoyed your series on moving.  Let me share my story.  After growing up moving, our family settled into our home in Mt. Airy, Maryland, for the long haul.  We spent 35 years in the same house, but we were in four different wards.

After my husband died and my children moved out, the ward was always very supportive.  Then I sold my big house to move to Richmond, Virginia.   I hired movers and paid for the deluxe package.

But ward members came to help anyway.  They wanted to say goodbye in a helpful way.  I was in a state of shock that I was leaving such a wonderful place and I wanted to say goodbye too.  So, they packed me out and we both appreciated the time spent together. 

When they noticed how much bleach I had, I sent it home with them.  While at it, they also got food storage my downsized state did not need.  The local thrift stores were filled to the brim with my former “treasures.”   I offered to pay those who helped me, but they did not want the money.  It was a rite of passage for both me and the ward, and it was a wonderful end to that part of my life.  Finally, the deluxe package movers came in, and were delighted at the profit margin they now had because so much of their work had been done.  

I had not contacted the new ward because I had professional movers and they did their job well.  In fact, the new ward was a bit confused for a while when I showed up, paid my tithing, and acted like I belonged.   They had not moved me in! 

Now I am a Richmonder and enjoying it.

 Happy in Virginia

What an inspiring story, Happy!  This is the moving experience at its best.  Thanks for sharing it.

I had to chuckle at your article because as a new high priest group leader for our ward, I get to arrange for help moving as well as other temporal emergencies at least once a month.   I would never complain; I am thrilled every day to be trusted with being the tip of the sword in the Lord’s kingdom in this corner of the vineyard.

I am reminded of the Savior who left for the wilderness after his cousin John had been executed, (I imagine him longing to draw near to his Father for comfort.)  Instead of the solitude he sought he was followed by we learn at least 5000+ citizens of that country.   Why didn’t they plan for a long day? Had they no sense to pack a lunch?

“Why couldn’t they be a little more self reliant?” the Savior could have thought.  Instead he saw this as a great gift to be able to teach.  Perhaps they were also in mourning and distraught as they had learned the great rabbi, John the Baptist, had just been beheaded.

We also know he had compassion on them and didn’t want them to faint by the wayside.
As always, he chose compassion and used his priesthood keys to solve a temporal problem. He organized the surrounding energy into an edible form of bread.  What an amazing Miracle!
Perhaps it was even his energy that he tapped to organize bread and fish, leaving him drained to the point that a mortal would have died. We will probably never know in this life.

He knew that as soon as he provided temporally for their needs they would be blinded by the miracle instead of his real message of his mission ? that he would be the bread of life.   He knew it would cause a net loss of his followership because many would be become disappointed by the high expectations. Yet he did it anyway.

Many today respect the bishop for his keys to the assumed “deep pockets” of the Church and take a check or a food order but don’t want to hear any council from this “Judge of Israel” who literally has the keys of salvation.

I am disheartened by the sense of entitlement some members of the Church feel toward the high priests in our ward.   I was recently saddened to hear of a sister who got angry with her home teacher because he couldn’t fix her car. I am frequently approached by some in our ward who demand a better home teacher; they want to trade up for one who is a better handyman. I had someone tell me because I wouldn’t take him to the gas station to get him a soda at 12:30 in the morning that I was in danger of not being my brother’s keeper.

I spend a considerable amount of energy shielding my beloved high priests from some of the crassness of ward members.

I am much younger and able to do a lot of lifting, but many in our quorum are living with advanced age, the problems of illnesses, and the side effects of the meds required to keep them alive.
I have seen many of them show up to move boxes and furniture, fix cars, plow gardens, and a whole host of other activities, to take care of those much younger and able-bodied.  For many an assignment to move someone in the middle of the night would be life threatening.

In Section 84 we learn that the Melchizedek priesthood’s sole purpose for being on the earth is to prepare to lead people to meet God. As soon as the children of Israel rejected the commandment to meet God, that higher priesthood was taken from them.

We who are in the trenches long for the opportunity to help our brothers and sisters advance in the gospel, through missionary work, temple ordinances, advancement in the priesthood, teaching the principles of the gospel and bearing testimony. I have found from the Savior’s example that the best time to impart the gospel is when someone has a temporal need that I can help with as well.

So we will continue to help assist those we can in hopes some of them will recognize the beautiful gift that hangs before them.

Patiently Engaged

Patiently, you are indeed a saint.  I can’t wait to show my husband your letter.  He and all the other current and other high priests group leaders who read your letter will be grateful that none of their ward members demanded to be driven to a gas station after midnight to get a soft drink.  I’m sure a lot of them have similar stories, though.

The whole concept of entitlement is huge, and we may address it in a future topic.  Thanks for writing.

I concur with most, if not all, the comments I have read.  Dan W’s comment about the moving service being an extension of welfare service is right on.

That may include a family’s (or single mom especially) not having resources physically, financially, or logistically to get the work done on their own. 

The bishop needs to be consulted.  Having served as a counselor and president in elders quorum and currently part of a presidency, I have seen that when a bishop is given an opportunity to utilize his keys in the ward, blessings have come to all involved.  More service is provided to families and members in need, resources are less strained, and spiritual needs are also met. 

The Lord has the bishop in place for a reason.  We in elders quorums should be the primary vehicle to assist in moves when the bishop has been consulted (whether bishop to bishop if in different wards or towns, requesting party to a bishop, or through the elders quorum after the elders quorum president has verified the assignment with the bishop.  He knows his sheep. 

Some elders are “elderly,” as was the case in one quorum I was in, and some high priests are relatively young.  We need to sustain our bishops (and branch presidents) by respecting the keys they have been given.  The requesting family or member may not be familiar with that order of things, so that could be a teachable moment while still offering what service can be provided.

Love does come with responsibility from all the parties involved.  Elders quorum presidents and counselors can respectfully ask the individual requesting help (or help in behalf of) that the bishop needs to be reported to and in turn report back.  When this pattern is followed, the Lord will provide.

Mark B.

I fully agree with you that the bishop should be consulted before all moving projects, Mark.  In fact, the idea makes such good sense that the new handbook advises that all these projects be coordinated through the bishop, who ideally “knows his sheep.”

First, all we can do is pray for a softening of the heart of “Fed Up in Fresno.”  I have always believed that within a ward the bishop was the judge in Israel. If she took issue with a request for service within her ward, she should have called the bishop. If anyone in the ward knows the whole picture of a family’s situation, it would be he.

I, for one, can not count the number of moves I have participated in. I can recall numerous examples “Fed Up” described.  I can also describe a few she did not, like those heartbreaking ones where a divorce or separation is taking place and it’s usually the wife who is left with the task of moving out her stuff along with the kids, leaving the angry husband to stand guard over his stuff  (his excuse for not helping).

Personally I have only walked away from one move in my life.  That was with a family who had a clear love of cats.  They had dedicated a whole room (with the washer and dryer) for them, and because the litter boxes were out of sight, the owners left the litter boxes completely overflowing with “stuff.”  With an allergy to cats, this toxic mix immediately closed my lungs, forcing me to leave or die of asphyxiation. Where did I run? Back to the U-Haul to load up the truck.

And I, too, have had my share of those who expect it. I also will go on the record as one who dislikes greatly the idea of a move. I can’t stand moving. I believe in the hereafter, say in the “lower” kingdoms that Joseph Smith described as being so beautiful, what he left out is that people in those kingdoms will be moving from one place to another, forever, in the rain. That will be the Hell of it.

So now that you have a picture of what I think of moving, let me share why I do it and will continue to do it, even if a good brother in my current ward asks me for the seventh time to move him and his family into what I’m sure will have at least three flights of stairs. I do it for immediate blessing I receive directly from Heaven as soon as I pick up the first box. This miracle has happened to me so many times regardless of my pre-move assignment grumblings of, “another move, why me?” I pick up that box and immediately the Spirit confirms I am in the right place at the right time.

As I bury myself in the task at hand, of helping someone else who is in need, one way or another, the physical miracle kicks in. My body is made pain-free. Yes, over time my joints have suffered trauma. Yes my back hurts and wakes me up every day, but while I am serving I feel great. Sometimes this has been such a dramatic change, I have to stop because I can’t see through my tears.

Now over time I have developed new talents. I haven’t found anyone who can pack a 26′ truck or even a 52′ trailer better than I can ? floor to ceiling and wall to wall. I always get everything in. And my loads have gone all across the country. I can also walk through a house and mentally see all the “stuff” going into place. And yes ? even on the moves where we box the stuff. Seems like just last week or so we had the lesson on talents, so I know I can’t just bury mine to save them for what? My last move?

Yes, “Fed Up in Fresno,” a family making a move should first contact a moving company, then they should contact their immediate family and then after that they turn to their home ward for help. But I’ll stick to my belief that we (unless we are the bishop) are not to make a judgment after receiving the call for help. Our response should always be, “Yes, where and when do you need me?”

And for the record, another thing I learned about service. One good brother in my ward, an attorney (so one could quickly assume a few things), pulled me aside and said, “I know how you work, and I know you would get the job done.  Can I hire you?”  This was the first person to offer me an immediate financial reward. My first response was no, but I didn’t have a job at the time and knew he could pay me a very fair price. So I took the job. Moving in his piano, squeezing in through the front door, we slipped and that beast of an instrument came down on my leg and split it open. I was hurt ? not enough to stop, but I limped through to the end and got the job done. It took a few weeks for that to heal. For me, lesson learned: I will take the heavenly blessings over earthly blessings any day. I have never been hurt or had any great pain that prevented me from doing any thing after a move.

So last week as I grabbed our two full-time missionaries to help on one of those breaking-up-family situations, we did it as fast and quick as we could.

You could feel the tension in that house. We got her all moved in (as back-up, the only other people she had were her neighbors, non-members).  You could see the joy in her face and feel the peace in her new home.

She put up a great fight to pay us ? so much that in order to leave we had to take it. But as we left, a quick-thinking missionary made a stop in the bathroom. Some day when she needs it most, she’ll reach in a drawer and find a roll of money and rejoice in another small miracle.

Also, in my high priests group we have the over-75 group who figure if they can play basketball on Wednesday nights, they sure can help out on a move or two. They just prefer not to help on the third-floor apartment assignments. I’ll continue to follow their example.

A Lifelong Member of the Priesthood Moving Crew

You’ve had some terrific experiences, Lifelong.  That story about the money hidden in the bathroom was priceless.

Before you’re too hard on “Fed Up in Fresno,” though, I’d like to point out that you have had significant spiritual blessings and insights given to you as you have performed these particular acts of service.  Not all people are fortunate enough to have spiritual confirmations such as yours, or the gift of being made pain-free during the serving process.  If that were the case, everyone would jump to do service ? just as everyone would pay tithing if we all knew we would get an immediate financial return as soon as we made the sacrifice.  Count your blessings!  I am sure many of the men who have responded to this topic are envious of you.

I know that for some reason, Mormons move all the time ? across country, even. if a family is moving in town just to another house, then they should pack up their own boxes and haul their stuff to where they are moving.  This should be done over time if possible.  If not, then pack up your own stuff ahead of time.  If you want boxes, go to Walmart late at night and get them free. That’s what we did!  Or ask others who have recently moved for their boxes.  Once everything is boxed up, rent a U-Haul.  After all that is done, if you have to have help from people in the Church, send out the call and let them know that you need the younger guys and have equipment they can use.

If it’s a longer distance, or if you have more stuff, load everything you can in the U-Haul and then get help with the larger stuff that takes men to move.  Ask family first, and if you need more volunteers ask the younger guys in the ward.

I was always taught family first.  If you’re alone, then do all you can do.  If you have money, you can pack things yourself and hire a moving company to do the actual loading and unloading.

I have used the church three times.  We are older and at one point did have one young son there.  He and my husband and I did all we could.  There was no standing around watching during our moves!  We also had family to pitch in.  It really helped to mark all the boxes, so we could locate the boxes that needed to be in certain places.

We made a move from Kansas City, Missouri, to the Houston area.  We hired a company, but before I did that I packed up all my stuff and my furniture.  When companies came to give me the estimate, they saw what an easy job it was going to be and tried to undercut each other.  The move that started at $10,000 ended up costing $4,000 ? a big difference in anyone’s book.

I can’t say not to ask for help because I have needed it in the past, but prior planning like saving up the money ahead to have it done by a company is good.  If you can’t pack and don’t have the money, then ask way ahead of time for help.  Do not ever demand it.
 
One piece advice to home teachers ? you are the home teacher, but you don’t have to do everything yourself to facilitate the move.  If you are not physically able to do it yourself, you can delegate.  Sometimes the hardest thing a person can do is to ask someone else for help.  If you take that task upon yourself, you have done a big service.  Even then, you aren’t on your own.  You can go through the Relief Society president if you’re a woman, or the priesthood quorum leader if you’re a man.  Those leaders go through the bishop, and everything can get going even more efficiently.  The more, the merrier.

Vickie Cloud 

Thanks for your thoughts, Vickie.  It never occurred to me to get everything packed up before you call the movers for an estimate.  As your experience proved, you can save a bundle of money that way.  Good for you!

There is so much more that all of us can be doing for our brothers and sisters of the world.
 
Are we forgetting the eternal blessings of service?
 
Yes, we have all been taken advantage of from time to time by members and nonmembers alike.  The reason that they take advantage is because they have not been taught yet what many of us know by the grace of those who took the time to teach us.  Service is the one great gift that we can offer.  Let us have the compassion to understand that many of us are lacking in other ways and that we are all under scrutiny or judgment from those around us.  Just as we need to improve in certain ways in our mortal life, so do many of those who seemingly take advantage and abuse our services.
 
Gentle words by a bishop or an elders quorum president can set the tone for future moves and more importantly future “growth” by errant families who just don’t know any better.
 
Toss the backbiting and embrace the opportunities!
 
Les Wood

What a lovely letter, Les!  Your compassionate heart concerning people who are less spiritually enlightened is something we can all emulate.  I know I can!

We have had some good experiences moving members, but far more bad experiences.  First, we were asked to move a family from an Army base on Christmas Eve.  When we arrived, the wife and children were gone and they had not even started to pack.

Also we were asked to move a family and didn’t know until we arrived that it was a nonmember family, who informed us later they would never join our church.  Less than a year later several of our new members were asked to come back to the same house to move the family out of the county.  It’s very sad that some people take such advantage of our priesthood, when they are usually happy to help those in need. 

Sadder but Wiser

I can’t help but think, Sadder, that the people in your ward who had those bad experiences will be blessed for their sacrifices even though they were taken advantage of.

In fact, they may be blessed even more especially because they were taken advantage of.

That reminds me of something I read once in the Apocrypha, which said if you lend money to someone who doesn’t pay you back, and if you still treat that person with kindness, you will be rewarded greatly above what you would have received if you had been repaid.  I have taken a lot of comfort from that over the years, and I would imagine the same thing applies to people who perform unappreciated acts of service.

It is my opinion that the moving task should be accessed the same as any church assistance. Look to your own family first! It is the responsibility of the elders quorum president and high priests group leader to make assignments. The home teacher should inform the president, who will intercede with family and determine their own capabilities and then their family’s capability. Only then should the elders become involved.

Our bishop and priesthood leaders all explained in a fifth Sunday meeting that church resources (including labor) would not be expended in an “emergency” mode. Moves do not originate overnight, nor do rent, utilities, empty pantries, or any other other needs. For that reason, they told us no assistance would be provided under “emergency” conditions. The first time a family’s move was held up while the elders quorum president phoned their family members, whether they were church members or not, cured our issues in Locust Fork, Birmingham Alabama Stake.       

Gordon Lively

Gordon, I’ll bet that was one “lively” fifth Sunday meeting.  You’re right, though.  After the rules are changed, all it takes is one instance where the rule is enforced to show people that they’d better pay attention to the new rule.  Problem solved in Locust Fork!

I believe in service, and I believe in helping when there is a necessity, but I also believe we are taught to help ourselves first.  We have moved several times. We have been asked to “move” other people/families in the ward, but we didn’t ask for help from the ward when it was our turn to move. We had friends that volunteered and our own children who were young and teenagers helped. We also had extended family that volunteered to help.

When it came right down to it, the responsibility was ours.  When there wasn’t extended family or friends we just made do and knuckled down and moved ourselves. At that time my husband’s back was in great shape.  He is now a high priest and he does get called frequently to help with moves.  His back in not in a shape where he can move himself so I won’t allow him to help because I can’t afford for him to get “down in the back” and cause me to have to call on others to help with the littlest of tasks.  He will serve in areas that he can and many other ways.  He does great service for others and our family.

We have had the same experiences as mentioned in the article.  When we do everything for others that they can do for themselves we are not teaching service ? we are teaching laziness.  We don’t allow them to help themselves.  My mother-in-law taught me that when we “expect” to be given or shown service we are not showing gratitude. Short experience to illustrate, she used to bring us “care packages” at the most needed times.  When we were in dire need she seemed to know.  It was a very welcome surprise.  One time I really wanted some groceries and just thought she knows we need something and she will come.  It really wasn’t as if we needed it. But I had come to “expect” a care package.  When she didn’t come I was a little resentful.  After I really thought about it I was letting her take care of my needs and I was not grateful. I felt ashamed.  I soon learned to plan better and budget better because I didn’t want to “expect” a gift. 

I believe Heavenly Father expects us to take care of ourselves.  We need to be in tune with the Spirit to know when others need our help and give service.  If we are always the one helped, we are not in tune to be able to help others.  After we have done all we can for ourselves (which would include prayer), then there is someone listening to the Spirit to come to help.  On the other hand, for those of us too stubborn to ask for help we must also humble ourselves and ask for help when we really need it.

That’s my 2 cents, for what it is worth. 

Two Pennies

I liked your story about coming to expect service, Pennies.  I also liked your last point, that we need to ask for help when we really need it.  I read a great talk by Kent P. Jackson recently.  It was called “Receiving.” If you or someone you love really needs help and doesn’t know how to accept it, this talk is extremely helpful.

Very few people have moved more times than I have. I have never asked for any help outside of family. In fact, I don’t remember having any family other than my wife and children help us move.

I am talking about moving cows and cow feed, all kinds of farm machinery, and all kinds and sizes of household items. No one has ever come over and said, “May we help?” or, “Here is a fresh loaf of bread.” No one ever came over and helped out when my wife came home from the hospital with a new child.  When my wife passed away eleven years ago, only one dear person (my wife’s hairdresser) came by and brought a large pot of soup. She didn’t even live in our ward.

I have never asked for help from any one outside of the family. I don’t have a large family presence in my area. In fact, some of my moves have been from the east border of this nation to the west border.

I am not complaining. I was healthy and capable to do for myself, and I did. I have been asked to help people that are healthy and capable. I have also helped people that seriously needed help. My motto is, “Help those that really need the help; others should do all they can for themselves and then it is my turn to help when needed.” I won’t take over their responsibility.

As someone mentioned, the pioneers helped one another. That is very true, but they had to do all they were capable first and then the help kicked in.
 
Gramps

Gramps, you just opened a lot of eyes.  It never occurred to me that people who had cows and farm equipment would have to move those cows and farm equipment, but if it had, I would have assumed a lot of help would be required.  You are a model of self-reliance.  I like your motto, too.

In all the wards I lived in, I have never seen the high priests involved in moving.

It is always the elders quorum.  Yes sometimes it is a pain in the patootie, but so is bringing in a meal or watching someone’s kids for an entire day when it may not be easy or convenient.  Let’s not forget the helping with overwhelming Eagle projects.

The Church sadly seems to becoming more and more full of whiners.  No, older men with health problems should not be involved beyond the organizing stage.  But my husband and son have helped quite a few and will continue to do so without fail. If boxes need to be filled, then that is where the Relief Society should come in.  

Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, “Sometimes reaching out is like trying to pat a porcupine.  Even so, the accumulated quill marks are evidence that our hands of fellowship have been stretched out too!”  

The Lord is ever mindful of the “quill marks” and will bless those who willingly served regardless of appreciation or consideration. He who murmurs looses the blessings of service.    A wise friend of mine once said, “Heroes don’t whine.”

Tired of Whiners in California

Love the porcupine quote, Tired.  Thanks so much for sending it.

By the way, the high priests are very much involved in moving in our ward.  Physical limitations don’t seem to be a reason for high priests to be exempt.  If you had named your California ward where high priests don’t do heavy moving, your ward might well have received a huge influx of retirees.

While never thinking of it as an entitlement, or something that should automatically happen, it does seem to me after watching this phenomenon recur frequently for more than 30 years, it has become a tradition for the elders quorum (never have I experienced it as a high priest’s “calling”) to jump in and help.  It has always seemed to me that the brethren were eager to help.  That doesn’t mean that other members should expect the service and avail themselves of it without first doing all that they can on their own.

My husband has returned from moves on several occasions with horror stories ?
nothing packed, beds, in need of being taken apart, trucks not being on hand when the men show up, things being thrown into plastic bags.

We had somewhat of an unusual circumstance when we moved a little over two years ago and arrived in our new city with a 26-foot truck filled to capacity.  The financing company for the house kept putting off the closing date.  We were staying in a motel suite and needed to unload our things into a storage room so that we would not incur high daily fees for keeping the van.  Long story short, we not only received help with that project, but with reloading a smaller truck when it came time to move into the house and help with moving our daughter’s things as well. All of this was done with good nature and a willingness to serve.  Never once did we think that we deserved it.  Each of the movers received a heartfelt thank you note.

If it’s a “tradition” in the ward for the elders quorum or even for the high priests to help move, and the willingness is there, I think it is OK to ask, but all effort should be made to do as much as possible on one’s own and to make the move as easy as possible for the brethren.   By all means, undue advantage should not be taken and certainly, the health issues of the older guys should be considered.

Experienced

Sounds as though you moved into a peach of a ward, Experienced.  I hope all wards show that willingness to help when help is really needed.

Wow! I read all of the comments below the article and thought, there must be a real problem here. I have witnessed some of those things happening, and I am sure that there are abuses all the time, but I think service should be a choice.

If you are going to resent helping someone to move, I don’t think you should do it. I think that you will not receive blessings when you give “service” with a bad attitude. I always tell my kids that it doesn’t count if you do it with a frown.

As for the older men who are not as strong as they once were, I think it is wrong to ask them to help move people. If you are ill or disabled or just plain don’t have the energy, you can say no. I don’t understand the entitlement attitude. It is unfortunate that a few selfish people have to make it hard for the rest to ask for a little help.

Teresa

I like your quote, Teresa, that it doesn’t count if you do it with a frown.  I also like your observation that one of the pitfalls of entitlement is that those who demand service actually take service away from people who really need it. That’s something that bears thinking about.

Speaking of entitlement …

I can’t stand it when people get a great big sense of entitlement, but that includes a sense of entitlement to not be inconvenienced by someone else’s request or need for service.

These thoughts were sparked by the many entitlement-related comments regarding priesthood moving service. I know you’re tired of reading about priesthood moving, but you mentioned entitlement might be a good topic for the future. So I’ll try to focus on entitlement, rather than service.

The scriptures tell us time and time again to love one another and serve one another. And when you’re in the service of your fellow beings, you’re only in the service of your God. Some scriptures (Mosiah 4 comes to mind) say we shouldn’t withhold our substance (or time, or whatever) because we ourselves are dependent on God for our lives and forgiveness. Since when did it become OK to tell God that you will serve him only if it’s convenient for you and a big list of requirements is met?

Somehow, the Church’s teachings on self-reliance got interpreted to mean that if someone else isn’t self reliant, tough luck. And the Church’s position that we shouldn’t complicate or take away from family life got interpreted to mean that someone shouldn’t have to sacrifice his favorite TV show in order to help someone he doesn’t know. I’m tired of hearing church members complain about being asked to help other people, when service is a huge part of what the priesthood, and membership in the Church, is all about.

I rarely ask for help. The last time I moved, I just asked my best friends in the ward to help move my bed, my couches and chairs, and two tables, and I moved everything else on my own. But I try to help out with every move in or move out in my ward, even when it meant staying up until midnight to pack things into a storage unit for people who probably should have planned better. And when a man called on a Friday night to ask for help giving his daughter a priesthood blessing, and I was trying to hit the road for a trip, I drove well out of my way to help him out.

My philosophy is that when the most perfect, just, merciful and benevolent being in the universe forgives me of my sins, who am I to judge whether someone is worthy of your help?

Of course, we all have limited means, and we should use judgment to put them to their best use, and make sure they aren’t abused. The Church teaches we must decide between good, better, and best, and we should not run faster than we have strength. A man with heart trouble shouldn’t help millionaires load their baby grand into a U-Haul during his children’s piano recital. A home teacher in grad school shouldn’t spend a Saturday repairing a well-to-do family’s plumbing while a single mother is trying to move her family into a safer neighborhood. A Relief Society president shouldn’t cancel a date with her husband to answer a last-minute request from someone who wants her house cleaned.

I’m getting married (9 days from the day I’m writing this) so I realize that family life will change my priorities.  Nevertheless, we should serve God with all our heart, might, mind and strength. We shouldn’t get a sense of entitlement to being left alone, or receiving two weeks’ notice of any service need, or of an itemized list of the person’s expenses.

Two final thoughts…

I’m glad the atonement (and prayer answering) were not left up to the people who think asking for help equals a sense of entitlement and a failure to be self-reliant.

Second, when it comes to helping people move, most of the time it can be handled by two to four priesthood holders and the people who are moving. (I had to sneak that in there at the end.)

Bryan in Virginia

Bryan, it never occurred to me that sometimes we can feel entitled to watch a television show uninterrupted or to offer service only at our own convenience.  You’re right, though.  It’s something that bears thinking about, next time the opportunity to serve comes at an inconvenient moment.

To the one that posted something like, “Serve others, and let Heavenly Father sort it all out,” I agree.

This is starting to sound (at times) like a judging match.  How sad.  Who are we to judge who is “using”?  Some now feel guilty for ever asking for the much-appreciated help they received.  What good did that do?  What happened to, “Have I done any good in the world today?”  Or, is it, “Have I done any good in the world today to those whom I think deserve it?”  Or, maybe it’s, “Have I done any good in the world today to those I judge worthy to receive it?”
 
There are always people who will abuse something.  Nothing new there.  Why make those who do appreciate suffer without, or feel guilty?  Doing that is far worse than serving an ungrateful person.  Look at the Savior!  Was He not dealing with ungrateful people?  Look who crucified Him, and betrayed Him.  He still did good towards all.  He is who we are supposed to look to as an example for our own lives.

He loved and served more ungrateful people than any single one of us ever could!

Advocate for the Needy

You make good points, Advocate.  I believe it was Alma who said we should give charity to everyone who asks, regardless of whether we think they need it.  That’s good advice, no matter what form the charity takes.

Okay, people, this topic is officially closed.  Let’s see what gem we come up with to discuss next time.

Until next week ? Kathy