Years ago as a young mother I went to Relief Society one morning, when such meetings were held on weekdays, with several small children in tow. It had been a busy morning getting children off to school and then taking three more, including a baby, to the meeting. I put a toddler and a pre-schooler in the nursery and then sat down in the classroom with the baby on my lap, feeling a little harried. It had required a big effort to get there, but I was pleased to be in attendance and was eager to learn from the lesson. The teacher was my senior by thirty years and was someone I respected and looked to for wise counsel. During the lesson, she stated something that really struck me. She declared, “I have never neglected my children.” I thought to myself what a wonderful thing to be able to say as a mother, and I hoped that when our children were reared, I, too, could look back and claim such an achievement.
I was pondering her statement later in the day as I went about my work at home when suddenly it occurred to me that what she had said was good, but perhaps not good enough. How much better to be able to say as a mother, “I have invested myself in the lives of my children.” I desired more for my children than lack of neglect; I wanted to create for them an environment rich in love, security, training, teaching and testimony. I wanted to give them my time—serving them, teaching them, listening to them, showing them the way, and loving them. I wanted to give them all I had, my very best.
I realized that next to investing in our marriage, the best place to put my effort and time would be in the lives of our children. I understood that the greater the investment, the greater my chances for success toward my over-arching goal: an eternal family.
About this same time I heard President Spencer W. Kimball state, “The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.” (Ensign, November 1980. p. 4)
It was apparent then and even more so now: parents have to work harder and do better than parents have ever done before to achieve the same results.
As I observe our children who are now parenting their own children, as well as the mothers of young children in our neighborhood, I clearly see how demanding and intense raising children is in today’s world. For example, as our children were growing up they could safely play for hours and hours at the small neighborhood park across from our home without any parental supervision or involvement. Now, parents can no longer just send their children to a park, they have to take them and remain with them.
I greatly admire the diligence and vigilance of modern parents.
I also deeply appreciate all that the Church with its various programs does to support its members in the huge responsibility of rearing children.
And thanks to the inspired leadership of the Church, we have a beautiful definition, as stated in “The Family—A Proclamation to the World,” of exactly what it means to invest ourselves in our children and work toward being eternal families. I conclude by quoting it in part as follows:
“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. ‘Children are an heritage of the Lord’ (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. . . Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. . . Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”
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Special note: As a follow-up to my May 9, 2011 Meridian column, “Serving Family Members Who Have Special Needs,” I’m passing along information that has just come to my attention from a friend and ward member of years gone by, Lisa Riska. Lisa now lives in Texas with her husband and a son with special needs who is 34. She has recently launched a website which she describes as being “a place where Latter-day Saints can discuss — in unselfconsciously LDS terms — ‘the blessings and the stressings’ of raising a special needs child.” It’s called The Liahona Project. . . faith and direction.
This site, which contains a wealth of helpful and inspirational information, includes some beautifully written articles by Lisa. I loved each one, but my heart was especially warmed by “The Red Sea Place.” It has meaning for anyone facing life’s challenges. I highly recommend it, along with the entire site.
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Daryl Hoole, mother of eight, has been a best-selling author and popular lecturer on home management and family living. Now retired, she enjoys free lance writing. She is answering questions from readers who contact her at as*@th****************.com. Her “At Home” column appears the second Monday of each month on Meridian Magazine. This information is also available on her personal website at www.theartofhomemaking.com.