Books

Authors’ note:  Welcome to the first portion of Chapter 1 in our new book, Why Fathers Count: The Importance of Fathers and Their Involvement with Children.  We have agreed to have some portions of this book serialized on Meridian Magazine each month during 2007.  We hope that the material shared will enrich your understanding of men, family life, and the important contributions of fathers and father figures to children, families and communities.  We intend to focus on sharing fresh insights and practical tips on fathers, parenting and family life in the articles we select.  We also encourage you to head on over to our on-line page where you can order individual copies of the book, at https://www.whyfatherscount.com.

We begin with an exploration of a key question in society:  Do fathers really matter in the well-being of children and families in today’s world?

A Generation at Risk

Fatherless America! thundered the title of a provocative book, followed by the subtitle’s pressing tone: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem.[i] The most urgent social problem in the United States today, according to some scholars, is the increasing number of fathers who either are not in the home or are ineffective parents while at home.

A variety of studies, publications, and social programs in recent years have focused attention on the issue of fathering. [ii] Efforts to encourage better fathering have been underway in this country for some years due to such social concerns, resulting in hopeful appraisals of the “new father” or the “androgynous father.”

However, it has been pointed out that the “conduct of fatherhood” does not necessarily keep pace with the “culture of fatherhood,” [iii] and the efforts to create a culturally ideal father are not always exemplified by real fathers.

One limitation of efforts to re-engineer the role of fathers has been that they often arise from a “deficiency model of men,” a perspective that emphasizes men’s deficiencies in fulfilling a socially defined father role. [iv] And yet it is men’s strengths – their capacity to care, protect and give – that are needed by children, women, and men themselves.

In a culture that questions the value of men in family life, we need a fresh perspective on what men can contribute to their families and communities as well as insight into the ways in which fathers and father figures make a meaningful difference.

Why is fathering an important issue on the nation’s agenda? How did we get to a point in history when fathering is consuming a large portion of the debate over child well-being? Perhaps because, as one researcher has written:

Increasingly, more children do not live with their fathers, relate to their fathers on a regular basis, or enjoy the economic support of their fathers. In my view, this situation is a rending of the moral fabric of family life and thus of society as a whole, as a generation of men fail to engage in responsible generativity toward the next generation. [v]

Because children are largely dependent on caring adults for their support and well-being, the question of how adults are responding to the needs of the coming generation is critical for communities. William Doherty’s assessment that the current situation is “a rending of the moral fabric of family life and thus of society as a whole” is a serious charge.

Two leading family scholars, Paul Amato and Alan Booth, have examined family upheaval in America and titled their book on the subject A Generation at Risk.[vi] Are future generations of Americans truly at risk due to the concerns that exist about fathers in family life?

Erik Erikson, the pioneering developmental psychologist, asserted in his work that caring for the next generation is among the most profound responsibilities that rest upon humanity. It seems, then, that we should be very concerned about fatherhood and the future of our children.

Fatherhood and the Future of Children

In addressing the issue of fatherhood and the future of our children, it is challenging to settle on the best approach to engaging others with the issue. We could present a deluge of statistics from research-based studies that provide evidence of fathers’ positive contributions to child well-being and the negative consequences that can occur due to father absence or lack of involvement. We might work on an attention-getting media campaign that splashes images of fathers in family life across magazines, television screens, and the Internet. We could offer a menu of programs and policy prescriptions designed to lower barriers to father involvement and strengthen men in their efforts to be responsible and committed as fathers.

Yet, and perhaps most important, we could simply capture and communicate the simple idea that a father counts in the life of a child.

There is nothing quite as powerful as a good idea. There is nothing quite as compelling as the smile of a baby, the outreached arms of a toddler, or the laughter and love of a teenage son or daughter to kindle love in the heart of a father. Too many men, however, have learned to limit their responses to a child’s love, and too many children have faced life without the loving arms of a father to guide, nurture, and protect them.

More must be done to address the issue of fatherhood and the future of our children. Therefore, we hope that one of the contributions of this book will be its ability to communicate the power of a father’s love in the life of a child.

An important point must be made about fathers and their involvement in family life. In all that we do to promote enhanced quality of life for children and their families, this concept may be an important factor in capturing the “heart of a father.” [vii] While many men don’t need to be cajoled or coerced into spending more time with their children, some men do need greater encouragement and support. Men can do better. We do not need to be satisfied with attitudes that accept limited involvement, abusive behavior, or lack of responsibility as the status quo for men in family life. Men are most likely, we believe, to respond to moral invitations that ask them to give the best of themselves to parenting the children in their lives. 

A key issue is that, in addition to benefits for children, mothers, and the community, men themselves ultimately benefit when they fulfill their paternal obligations and responsibilities.[viii] Such “fathering work” is, therefore, also important to a father’s personal development and will directly affect his health, happiness, and satisfaction.

Fathers meaningfully involved in their children’s lives are participating in an important aspect of adult development called generativity. They are caring for the next generation. Substantial and worthwhile involvement at this stage of life is an important precursor to an issue in the last stage of adulthood called integrity, when men begin to question how meaningful their life’s efforts have been. [ix]

Without adequate emphasis on their children during the formative years of childhood and adolescence, men may struggle in resolving the impending issues of the final stage of life. Therefore, the case should also be made that, in general, most men need to do the work of fathering for their own happiness, health, and peace.

Do Fathers Really Count?

As scholars of fathering and fathers ourselves, we sometimes face the question of whether a father’s involvement in the life of his family is really important. What does the evidence truly suggest? We can only believe that some individuals who would dismiss the evidence of fathers’ importance simply choose a kind of selective ignorance in which there is a willing disregard for an ever-increasing body of scientific research that documents the power and significance of a father’s caring and involvement in the lives of children.

Those who blatantly choose to ignore the facts about father absence and the devastating impact it often has on children and family life are often the first to scream at the band because it did not “play on.” The band, of course, was on the upper end of the Titanic before it sank. Ignorance may be bliss until it brings everyone down with it!

Nearly three decades ago, child psychologist Michael Lamb shared a description of fathers as the “forgotten contributors to child development.” Today it would be hard to make such a claim. Other commentators have recently written:

Over the past decade, burgeoning interest in fatherhood by family scholars has produced a body of research impressive in its size, breadth, and depth. Moreover, interest in fatherhood has not been limited to researchers and academics, but has spread to policymakers, social service providers, politicians, community and religious organizations, social commentators, and others. At no time in American history have so many been paying so much attention to fathers and the institution of fatherhood. [x]

With so much attention being given to fathers and family life, what has been learned? Increasingly, it is both acknowledged and accepted that the involvement of a loving, committed father brings many positive elements to the growth and development of children, the stability of families, and the well-being of communities. It is our view that both parents count – mothers and fathers. Our work focuses on fathers and does not, in any way, minimize the tremendous contributions of mothers to the lives of their families.

A brief sampling of random findings related to the contributions of fathers in family life illustrates the theme of why fathers count:

• Data analyzed from the National Study of Families and Households showed when fathers were positively involved, children experienced fewer behavior problems and anxieties, got along better with others, and were more responsible. [xi]
• A study on empathy in adulthood found that the strongest predictor of empathy for others was the level of care and support by fathers in childhood. This applied to both men and women. [xii]
• Summarizing a series of early studies on fathers’ influence on young children, researchers indicate that fathers’ interest and involvement in the early years is strongly associated with higher cognitive functioning and greater academic achievement among school-age children. [xiii]
• Childhood poverty in America is affected by fathers’ ties to the family. Only 9% of children living in married couple families lived below poverty level, while 42% living in single mother families lived below poverty level in 2004. This finding becomes even more significant for children born to mothers outside of marriage, dramatically increasing the poverty rate for such children. [xiv]
• Data from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth indicate that a father’s absence significantly increases the likelihood of difficulties with peers, depressive behavior in boys, and other behavioral challenges for girls. [xv]

Getting along with others. Empathy. Academic achievement. Child poverty. Depression in childhood – all issues that reflect differing aspects of a child’s well-being and development. All of them are significantly affected by a father’s presence and involvement. The list could be significantly expanded. The simple point is that a mounting wave of scholarship suggests fathers count in a variety of ways in the lives of children and their contributions inevitably shape the future of a child’s life.

Beyond the research on family life, the most compelling evidence for a father’s love and involvement can be seen in the eyes of a child. Watch a child who has a caring, involved father in his or her life interact with him. Notice the laughter and the warmth.

In the eyes of a child, a father’s love and acceptance can count for everything. John Snarey, who tracked the contributions of fathers to children across generations in a four-decade study, surveyed this vast research and summarized: “Good fathering, it seems, really does matter. It matters over a long time, over a lifetime, and even over generations.” [xvi]

(You can share any comments or feedback with Sean Brotherson at [email protected] – I look forward to hearing from you!  Further information about Why Fathers Count can be located at https://www.whyfatherscount.com.)

ndnotes