Recently one of my clients threatened to stab her roommate. A few months ago, another client pulled out a knife on his roommate. The first person said, “I never touched a knife; I only threatened her.” The second person said, “It was a folding knife and I never opened it.” So, the question is “Why threaten at all?” “What could you have done differently to resolve any problems?”
How often are our words like knives? How often do we criticize? How often do we use cutting remarks? What an interesting choice of words when we say words “cut like a knife.”
In the April 2024 General Conference, Elder Ronald A. Rasband of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles taught that “Words matter. They are the bedrock of how we connect; they represent our beliefs, morals, and perspectives. Sometimes we speak words; other times we listen. Words set a tone. They voice our thoughts, feelings, and experiences, for good or bad.”
Elder Rasband continued: “Unfortunately, words can be thoughtless, hasty, and hurtful. Once said, we cannot take them back. They can wound, punish, cut down, and even lead to destructive actions. They can weigh heavily on us. On the other hand, words can celebrate victory, be hopeful and encouraging. They can prompt us to rethink, reboot, and redirect our course. Words can open our minds to truth.”
Elder Rasband said “… first and foremost, the Lord’s words matter.” “Second, the words of prophets matter.” “Third, and so very important, are our own words. Believe me, in our emoji-filled world, our words matter.”
Elder Rasband suggested three simple phrases that we can use to take the sting out of difficulties and differences, lift, and reassure each other: “Thank you.” “I am sorry.” And “I love you.”
During group therapy in prison, there were times when a group member would give feedback to another group member that might seem uncaring and even harsh. The group members were encouraged to be calm and ask for clarification so they could increase their understanding. After further discussion, more than once, they would say “Thank you,” “I am sorry,” and “we care about you.” No knives, no cutting words. A lot of encouragement.
Elder Rasband concluded: “I promise that if we “feast upon the words of Christ” that lead to salvation, our prophet’s words that guide and encourage us, and our own words that speak of who we are and what we hold dear, the powers of heaven will pour down upon us. “The words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.” We are Heavenly Father’s children and He is our God, and He expects us to speak with “the tongue of angels” by the power of the Holy Ghost.”
May the Lord bless us to use words that uplift, edify, strengthen, and show love even as our Savior does.
