In April Conference 1994, Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley called the Atonement the “Greatest Miracle in Human History”.  Our current prophet, Pres. Russell M. Nelson, has called the Savior’s sacrifice “The Central Act of all Human History.” (April 2017).  In this past conference, several speakers again repeated this thought.

I find it interesting that we all celebrate Easter, but as a Church, we don’t have a specific celebration of the incredible gift that was given to all mankind on Good Friday, the day on which Jesus Christ became the Savior of the world, by saving the world from both death and personal sin.  Without that matchless Atonement, there would have been no Easter morning.  Today I’d like to write about the infinite reach of that supreme Atonement.

Six years ago, I wrote an article for Meridian detailing experiences I have had with a prisoner at the Utah State prison, Doug Lovell.  To quote from my earlier article:

Several years ago, a letter arrived with a return address that immediately caught my attention. It was from a prisoner in Maximum Security at the Utah State Prison. My interest was immediately piqued, and I tore open the envelope and began to read. It was from a prisoner on death row, Doug Lovell. His story caught me completely by surprise:

PBS had featured a one-hour documentary on the work Rising Star Outreach does in India with the leprosy-affected, called Breaking the Curse. It proved to be very popular, eventually gaining over 1,000 showings on PBS. It even won the Gracie Award in New York City that year! But the greatest impact it had on me personally arrived in this letter from Maximum Security.

Doug had seen the documentary in his cell and had been profoundly touched. He decided to send $5 a month to support our work in India. He said he could do this because the state allotted him $30/month to purchase necessities such as shaving cream, deodorant, etc. He normally managed to save enough money to buy himself one Coca-Cola a week. By giving up his Coke, he figured he could manage this donation. I wondered how long his resolve might hold.

His checks began arriving each month like clockwork. After several months, I wrote him a thank you note. He responded immediately and thus an interesting relationship of pen pals was born.

I have now been corresponding with him for more than [sixteen] years.

Several years into this relationship, my husband and I received a call to serve in the Dominican Republic, Santiago Mission for three years.  My husband speaks beautiful Spanish, but my own Spanish essentially consisted of about a dozen words such as “taco, fajita, chimichanga, tortilla, etc.”  It didn’t take me long to figure out that unless I wanted to spend three years incommunicado with the people around me, I would have to learn Spanish!

The MTC was welcoming and accommodating.  I was living in NYC at the time, but whenever I had a speaking engagement in the Western U.S. I started trying to proceed the engagement with three or four days at the MTC and then to follow with another three or four days at the MTC as I made my way back to NYC. The MTC was gracious enough to let me keep a suitcase full of appropriate missionary clothes and my language books in their office.

I decided that since I was now in Utah fairly frequently, this might be a great opportunity to visit the prison and meet Doug in person.  In his letters, Doug had recounted to me how he was converted to the Church after spending several years on death row.  So, I contacted the person in charge of the Church’s prison ministry, to see if he could guide me in this endeavor.

It turned out this person was the Stake President over the prison ministry.  He was very gracious.  He told me that Doug talked about Rising Star Outreach all the time.  He felt Doug would be very, very excited when he learned I wanted to visit.  He invited Doug’s Bishop to join our conversations, and eventually I was able to get an invitation to accompany Doug’s Bishop on one of his Sunday visits to the prison.

I have to admit that I was a bit apprehensive about visiting a man in Maximum Security on Death Row.  Would I be putting myself or my family at risk somehow, if he ever got out?  After all, what would we even talk about?

I asked both the Bishop and the Stake President if there was anything they would like me to talk about with Doug, should I get permission to visit?  They both said it would be very helpful if I could talk to Doug about the Atonement.  They said, while Doug’s spiritual progress with his conversion was going well, he wasn’t able to forgive himself for the crimes that he had committed.  They felt that this was holding him back spiritually.

Inwardly, I thought, “What in the world could I say about the Atonement that a Bishop and a Stake President haven’t already taught him?” But I agreed to do my best.

When I arrived at the Utah State Prison at 8:00 Sunday morning, the Bishop and I were ushered into the visiting room in the Maximum Security of the prison.  It was a small, stark, concrete room with two strait wooden chairs.  The front wall had a large glass partition.  Doug was standing at the partition, in his orange prison jumpsuit, with a huge smile on his face.  He was clearly very excited.  His right hand was pressed against the glass and his left hand pressed over his heart.

I assumed that this must be how you “shook hands”.  I walked up to the glass, matched my own right hand against his on the glass and put my left hand over my heart.  I couldn’t help but notice that he had a lone tear that was making its way down his right cheek.  The Bishop announced that he was leaving me here, as he had to make “his Sunday rounds” with the other prisoners.  He asked me what time I wanted him to come back and pick me up?  I started to say, “In fifteen minutes”, but before I could answer Doug excitedly announced that he had reserved the room until noon! What??? Four hours???

The Bishop shot me a questioning look.  I had no idea what to say.  I couldn’t imagine spending four hours talking to someone I didn’t even know.  When I didn’t answer, the Bishop hesitatingly said, “I’ll be back to check on you in 45 minutes.” 45 minutes!!  Aaaahhh!  I felt like a deer caught in the headlights.  As the Bishop exited out the door, I hesitantly turned to the prisoner.

We started talking together about my work in India.  He wanted to know every detail.  He wanted to know about all the children at the school.  He wanted to hear about all the medical clinics.  He wanted to hear about all the micro-loans to the leprosy patients.  It honestly doesn’t take much to get me talking about our work in India!  The conversation flowed.

We talked for a long time, alternately laughing and crying at the various stories.  Finally, when there was a pause, I decided to make the leap.  I told him that both his Bishop and Stake President had asked me to talk about the Atonement if I was able to visit.  The atmosphere in the room changed instantly.

Doug responded, “This has been a magical visit for me. Let’s don’t ruin it by talking about the Atonement.  I know what you’re going to tell me.  You’re going to tell me I have to forgive myself.”  He hung his head, and I could tell he was struggling with his emotions.  He continued, “Becky, I can never forgive myself for what I have done.”  By now he was sobbing.  Embarrassed, he placed his head in his hands and said, “Please, let’s don’t talk about the Atonement and ruin this special visit.”

I responded, “Fine, you don’t want to talk about the Atonement.  I get it.  How about I talk about the Atonement, and you just listen?” He lifted a tear-streaked face and looked at me with an expression that read, “Did you just really say that?!”  But he nodded, OK.

I said, “Doug, have you ever read the New Testament?” He nodded, yes.  His face was back in his hands.  I continued, Have you ever wondered why God chose Paul to be His Apostle to the Gentiles?  Paul, who was not only a terrible persecutor of the Church, but he had also caused many members to be put to death, including one of Jesus’s Apostles?   So, Paul was also a murderer.  Why do you think God would have chosen a murderer to be His chosen Apostle when there were so many righteous Saints in Jerusalem that had been enduring terrible persecution?”

Doug lifted his head. He didn’t answer, but I could tell I now had his complete attention.  I said, “Doug, I think it’s because God wanted the early Saints to understand how infinite the Atonement was.  If it could cover sins as terrible as Paul’s, then there must be no one outside its reach.  You know, if you took Paul’s writings out of the New Testament, we’d lose a third of the New Testament, along with the bulk of Christian doctrine.  God knew what He was doing!”

Doug was staring at me.

I continued, “Doug, have you read the Book of Mormon?”  He answered that he was reading it now.  I said, “Have you ever wondered why God chose Alma the Younger to be the prophet of the Church?  Alma was a persecutor of the Church and was doing all in his power to destroy it.  Why would God choose such a person when, again, there were so many righteous Church members to choose from?”

By now, Doug’s face was out of his hands.  He didn’t answer.  I said, “I personally think it was because God wanted the Saints in America to understand how infinite the Atonement is.  You know, if you took Alma’s writings out of the Book of Mormon—you’d lose HALF of the Book of Mormon.”

I concluded, “He wants you to know how infinite the Atonement is.

About this point, the door at the back of the room opened and the Bishop reentered the room.  Had it been 45 minutes already?  The Bishop apologized that he hadn’t been able to get back sooner, but there apparently had been some needs come up that he hadn’t been  aware of.  It was noon!

Doug has since become even more dedicated to our work in India. His donations quickly increased to $10/month—a third of his income! He took a job at the prison delivering meals to newly arrived inmates to earn more money to donate. That has had a tsunami affect!

As he meets new prisoners, they are generally very depressed and in despair. They are overcome with feelings of self-recrimination and worthlessness. They are often suicidal.  Their families and friends feel betrayed.  Doug understands where they are coming from. He is in prison for a hideous crime of rape and murder and for many years figured there was no salvation or forgiveness possible for him. But he is now converted back to God and wishes to do all in his power to help others who are struggling.

He quietly encourages these discouraged men with downcast eyes and heavy hearts that no matter what they have done, they can still reach out to God—that He is in fact, waiting to hear from them with open arms.

They typically respond with something like, “Oh, God gave up on me a long time ago.”  Doug insists, “”No, God never gives up on anyone!”  To which, they typically respond, “Ha,  you don’t know what I’ve done!”  To which Doug responds, “Whatever it is, it’s not as bad as what I’ve done—I’m on death row.  And I’m telling you that God never gives up on anyone.”  Then he adds, “If you don’t believe me, write to Becky Douglas.

As a result, I am now writing to nearly 30 men in prison! My husband teases me that I have more pen pals who are incarcerated than who walk free! They are desperate to know that God still loves them; that they still have worth.

I now receive letters from inmates’ family members, telling me how Doug saved their son’s/husband’s/brother’s life when he came into prison and was feeling suicidal.  I have letters from family members telling me how Doug has gotten their son/brother/husband to return to God. And incidentally, he has now had over 100 prisoners now donating to Rising Star Outreach!

This is a simple story of how transforming the Atonement is.

If anyone is reading this who feels that “God gave up on them long ago”, please reconsider.  I bear witness that God never gives up on anyone.  You have not past a point of no return.  You are needed in His Kingdom. You are His son or daughter.  You are more precious to Him than anything in the universe.

Hopefully, those of us who have a relationship with God can reach out to those whose hearts are full of doubt and pain.  Laying all judgement aside, let’s celebrate this Good Friday with hearts full of thanksgiving for the gift of an Atonement that is infinite in both its scope and its healing power.