This article includes excerpts from The Heart of Our Covenants: Temple Principles that Draw Us unto Christ by Valiant K. Jones. Used by permission. See www.valiantjones.com or www.cedarfort.com.

While addressing the conflict between same-sex marriage concerns and Church doctrine in August of 2021, President Jeffrey R. Holland admonished the BYU community to do better in teaching our doctrine, encouraging them to find “better ways to move toward crucially important goals in these very difficult matters—ways that show empathy and understanding for everyone while maintaining loyalty to prophetic leadership and devotion to revealed doctrine.” He then spoke of a “need to define, document, and defend the faith.”[i]

This series of articles is intended as a faithful response to that request. The first three articles in this series focus primarily on “loyalty to prophetic leadership and devotion to revealed doctrine,” and the final two articles focus primarily on “ways that show empathy and understanding for everyone.”

See the previous article in this series here.

Families in Heaven

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we often talk about the blessing of living together as families in the celestial kingdom. But how will each family unit be composed? Will families be groupings of a husband and wife living in a heavenly household with their children who are sealed to them? If so, will I live eternally as a single young man in a household led by my parents, or will my wife and I be adult parents with our children existing as youths in that eternal world? I can’t be both a single youth and a married adult at the same time. How will eternal families be organized?

Before answering this, let us look at Church teachings regarding those who die as children. The restored gospel teaches that children who die before the age of accountability will be saved through the Atonement of Jesus Christ (see D&C 29:46–47; Moroni 8). In addition, Joseph Smith taught that these children will rise in the Resurrection to be raised by their faithful parents in a family setting. Sister M. Isabella Horne told of the following experience that she witnessed while with the Prophet as he ministered to the wife of John Taylor.

Sister Horne reported, “In conversation with the Prophet Joseph Smith once in Nauvoo, the subject of children in the resurrection was broached. I believe it was in Sister Leonora Cannon Taylor’s house. She had just lost one of her children, and I had also lost one previously. The Prophet wanted to comfort us, and he told us that we should receive those children in the morning of the resurrection just as we laid them down, in purity and innocence, and we should nourish and care for them as their mothers. He said that children would be raised in the resurrection just as they were laid down, and that they would obtain all the intelligence necessary to occupy thrones, principalities and powers. The idea that I got from what he said was that the children would grow and develop in the Millennium, and that the mothers would have the pleasure of training and caring for them, which they had been deprived of in this life.”[ii]

We presume that deceased children of parents who do not qualify to come forth in the morning of the First Resurrection to raise their children will be raised by suitable, worthy surrogate parents. Regardless, after these children have grown to maturity, they will be given all the opportunities of the faithful who lived longer lives on earth.

President Lorenzo Snow taught, “There is no Latter-day Saint who dies after having lived a faithful life who will lose anything because of having failed to do certain things when opportunities were not furnished him or her. In other words, if a young man or a young woman has no opportunity of getting married, and they live faithful lives up to the time of their death, they will have all the blessings, exaltation and glory that any man or woman will have who had this opportunity and improved it. That is sure and positive.”[iii]

This truth applies equally to those who die in their infancy as well as to those who die after the age of accountability. President Joseph F. Smith taught, “Our beloved friends who are now deprived of their little one, have great cause for joy and rejoicing, even in the midst of the deep sorrow that they feel at the loss of their little one for a time. . . . Such children are in the bosom of the Father. They will inherit their glory and their exaltation, and they will not be deprived of the blessings that belong to them; for, . . . all that could have been obtained and enjoyed by them if they had been permitted to live in the flesh will be provided for them hereafter. They will lose nothing by being taken away from us in this way.”[iv]

So those who die young will be resurrected during the Millennium at the same age at which they died, and they will be raised in a family setting by resurrected parents. After they mature, such children will have the opportunity to find a companion and receive eternal marriage and all the blessings of exaltation.

Those who die when they are older will be transformed into perfect bodies when they are resurrected. Amulek described the ultimate state of our resurrected bodies, saying that in the Resurrection, “the spirit and the body shall be reunited again in its perfect form; . . . every thing shall be restored to its perfect frame” (Alma 11:43–44). Alma similarly taught that in the Resurrection, “all things shall be restored to their proper and perfect frame” (Alma 40:23). President Dallin H. Oaks described this ultimate resurrected state as being “in the prime of life.”[v] So in the end, everyone, whether they died as children or as aged adults, will have eternal bodies that appear to be about the same age.

Now let us return to the question of what will constitute a nuclear family unit for eternity in the celestial kingdom, after the Millennium has passed. Such families will necessarily be comprised of only a husband and wife plus any of their children sealed to them but who, for whatever reason, are not themselves sealed to an eternal companion. Likely these single children who are heirs to celestial glory will be relatively few in number, given the statements above assuring that no righteous person will be denied any desired blessing, and they will serve their families as ministering angels (see D&C 132:16). Other worthy earthly offspring of each couple who are themselves sealed eternally to a spouse will form their own separate family unit. Each couple is linked to other couples through sealing bonds, but at the nucleus of most eternal family units in the celestial kingdom, there will be only a husband and a wife. This nucleus will be added to as the couple perpetuates eternal offspring, but it will begin with only a husband and a wife.

Until a few years ago, my aged parents were both alive, and they lived independently as a couple. My siblings and I had also reached the age where most of us were “empty nesters.” Although our children were just beginning to raise their own offspring, the older two generations were comfortable living only as couples. When children leave the nest, each couple remains an independent family unit even though they are linked to their parents and to their children and grandchildren. In modern times, technology makes it possible for us to maintain loving communication and have influence with all the other families we are connected to. This is similar to how families will be constituted in the celestial kingdom. We will initially be mostly couples linked to other couples. Add to this the additional blessing and complexity that each covenant husband and wife comes from a separate family, each with its own network of sealing bonds, and we see that the eternal family network is bounteous and strong, with connecting links in many directions.

Imagine a three-dimensional net.[vi] Each knot in the net is a married couple, and they are linked in multiple directions to many other knots: to the husband’s parents, to the wife’s parents, and to each of their own children who themselves have spouses. Each of these pairs is likewise connected to similar knots formed by eternal sealings in other directions. The sealing ordinances also connect each person to our heavenly parents and to Jesus Christ. This is why we should not be worried about eternal family bonds if our parents get divorced and are later sealed to someone new—it just means we have more couples we are connected to. Likewise, we should not worry if parents or other ancestors have not lived true to their covenants and therefore are not included in the net. No faithful person is left dangling. All who keep their covenants are bound by so many ligatures in so many directions that their covenant belonging is secure. We who are sealed by covenant ceremonies in holy temples of God on earth will be bound by a network of eternal covenant connections in heaven.

Again, the knots at each locus in this celestial family network will be formed by couples, sealed together for eternity in the new and everlasting covenant of marriage, and the connections between them will be formed by sealings between parents and children. The promised innumerable seed that will come to these eternal family couples will be spirit offspring that will emanate from them after these couples progress further and have established their own eternal kingdoms.

This family network organization will be led by our first parents, Adam and Eve. And prominent in leadership among all the couples will be Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob along with their wives. These ancient patriarchs and matriarchs form the model for fulfillment of the promises given to all couples who are sealed for eternity in the holy temples of God.

The Abrahamic Blessing of Posterity or Seed

The scriptures are replete with promises of fruit and seed both in this life and in the next. God promised Abraham, “I will multiply thy seed as the stars of the heaven, and as the sand which is upon the sea shore” (Genesis 22:17). The blessings of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are likewise promised to us when we are sealed as husband and wife in the temple.

Fruit and seed are instructive euphemisms. In the plant world, fruit and seed cannot form if the plant’s flowers are not pollinated by another plant or another part of the plant. I remember learning in my high school biology class that these different plant parts are designated maleorfemale.

Consider the following scholastic description: “Flowers are how plants produce seeds to reproduce. In many cases, the flower contains male and female parts, roughly equivalent to the male and female sexes of animals. The male parts of the flower are called the stamens and are made up of the anther at the top and the stalk or filament that supports the anther. The female elements are collectively called the pistil. The top of the pistil is called the stigma, which is a sticky surface receptive to pollen. The bottom of the pistil contains the ovary and the narrowed region in between is called the style. The male contribution or pollen is produced in the anther, and seeds develop in the ovary. Many of the fruits we eat are the thickened ovary walls surrounding the seeds.”[vii]

So the use of fruit and seed in the scriptures to imply the offspring of sexual fertilization has a basis in biology. Elder Milton R. Hunter taught: “The Prophet Joseph Smith explained that this continuation of ‘the seeds’ forever and ever, meant the power of procreation; in other words, the power to beget spirit children on the same principle as we were born to our heavenly parents, God the Eternal Father and our Eternal Mother. Therefore, a man cannot receive the highest exaltation without a woman, his wife, nor can a woman be exalted without her husband (1 Corinthians 11:11). That is the fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the plan of salvation.”[viii]

The Bible is anchored in stories about families, each formed by the marriage of a man and a woman. It begins with the story of the formation of the first family through Adam and Eve. We also learn of Noah and his wife and family that repeopled the earth after the flood. We are then introduced to Abraham, the father of many nations, and his wife Sarah. The covenant promises to Abraham could only be fulfilled with Sarah. Likewise, there could be no greatness in Isaac without Rebekah and no fulfillment of covenant blessings for Jacob without his wives.

Elder Bruce R. McConkie wrote, “Every person married in the temple for time and for all eternity has sealed upon him, conditioned upon his faithfulness, all of the blessings of the ancient patriarchs.”[ix] These are the blessings of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. These are the blessings of being heirs of the Abrahamic covenant. This covenant includes promises of posterity, priesthood, and a promised land along with the blessings of prosperity and exaltation in the presence of God eternally. However, it is important to recognize that these promises will be fulfilled in their fulness only after the Resurrection and only for those who qualify for the highest level of the celestial kingdom. There, each couple will be blessed with posterity as numerous as the sands of the seas or the stars of the heavens. There, each couple will enjoy the blessings of priesthood power together. There, each couple will inherit their own prosperous eternal promised land and kingdom. There, each couple will experience the joy of exaltation under the tutelage of our heavenly parents as we emulate their godly ways.

Brigham Young taught, “The Lord has blessed us with the ability to enjoy an eternal life with the Gods, and this is pronounced the greatest gift of God. The . . . Lord has bestowed on us the privilege of becoming fathers [and mothers] of lives. What is a father of lives as mentioned in the Scriptures? A man who has a posterity to an eternal continuance. That is the blessing Abraham received, and it perfectly satisfied his soul. He obtained the promise that he should be the father of lives.”[x] Likewise, Sarah became the mother of lives.

Taken together, the ordinances that we receive in the temple point us toward eternal marriage and the fulfillment of the blessings of the ancient patriarchs. The temple ordinances are a continuum that prepares us for exaltation as gods and goddesses. In the initiatory ordinances, we are washed and anointed and given promises that point toward eternal marriage. In the endowment, we enter into holy covenants whose purposes are to perfect us and make us godly. These covenants also become the core of our marriage covenants. And in the marriage sealing ceremony itself, we are bestowed the blessings of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Joseph Smith revealed the desired outcome of these ordinances: “And they shall pass by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever. Then shall they be gods, because they have no end; therefore shall they be from everlasting to everlasting, because they continue” (D&C 132:19–20).

We should remember the purpose of the blessings promised in the temple. President John Taylor said, “Have you forgotten who you are, and what your object is? Have you forgotten that you profess to be Saints of the Most High God, clothed upon with the holy priesthood? Have you forgotten that you are aiming to become kings and priests to the Lord, and queens and priestesses to him?”[xi]

President Joseph Fielding Smith added, “The main purpose for our mortal existence is that we might obtain tabernacles of flesh and bones for our spirits that we might advance after the resurrection to the fulness of the blessings which the Lord has promised to those who are faithful. They have been promised that they shall become sons and daughters of God, joint heirs with Jesus Christ, and if they have been true to the commandments and covenants the Lord has given us, to be kings and priests and queens and priestesses, possessing the fulness of the blessings of the celestial kingdom.”[xii]

The stories of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob and their wives demonstrate that women matter and therefore gender matters. The promises to the ancient prophets could not be fulfilled without their covenant wives. It is the same for us. In the highest level of the celestial kingdom, there will be no king without his queen, no priest without his priestess, no god without his goddess. If the Church were to eliminate the need for gender distinctions, this would diminish the eternal role of women. This will never happen. As President Russell M. Nelson has said, “The kingdom of God is not and cannot be complete without women who make sacred covenants and then keep them.”[xiii]

Complementary Natures

Besides the biological necessity of joining male and female for procreation, the combination of the two sexes in marriage joins two different but complementary natures that can only become whole and complete when sealed together as one in eternal union. Elder Bruce D. Porter said, “The differences between men and women are not simply biological. They are woven into the fabric of the universe, a vital, foundational element of eternal life and divine nature.”[xiv] Both are needed. President Henry B. Eyring demonstrated this when he said, referring to the complementary relationship he had with his wife, Kathleen, “Our differences combined as if they were designed to create a better whole.”[xv]

Elder David A. Bednar elaborated on this topic: “The natures of male and female spirits complete and perfect each other, and therefore men and women are intended to progress together toward exaltation. . . . For divine purposes, male and female spirits are different, distinctive, and complementary.

“After the earth was created, Adam was placed in the Garden of Eden. Importantly, however, God said it was “not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18; Moses 3:18), and Eve became Adam’s companion and helpmeet. The unique combination of spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional capacities of both males and females were needed to implement the plan of happiness. Alone, neither the man nor the woman could fulfill the purposes of his or her creation.

“By divine design, men and women are intended to progress together toward perfection and a fulness of glory. Because of their distinctive temperaments and capacities, males and females each bring to a marriage relationship unique perspectives and experiences. The man and the woman contribute differently but equally to a oneness and a unity that can be achieved in no other way. The man completes and perfects the woman, and the woman completes and perfects the man as they learn from and mutually strengthen and bless each other.”[xvi]

The divine feminine can be found in ancient scripture, often associated with such characteristics as wisdom, spirit, mercy, compassion, and love,[xvii]  whereas the divine masculine is sometimes associated with companion attributes such as knowledge, strength, justice, vengeance, and law. These are balancing characteristics. Both natures are needed to complete the whole. Elder D. Todd Christofferson taught, “It is [God] who in the beginning created Adam and Eve in His image, male and female, and joined them as husband and wife to become ‘one flesh’ and to multiply and replenish the earth. Each individual carries the divine image, but it is in the matrimonial union of male and female as one that we attain perhaps the most complete meaning of our having been made in the image of God—male and female.”[xviii]

We have both a Heavenly Mother and a Heavenly Father who are cocreators of our spirits. This is likely the reason we read in the Creation story, “And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness” (Genesis 1:26; emphasis added). In ancient Semitic languages, El refers to God, and its plural form in the Hebrew language is Elohim. When we hear this plural name, we may wonder if our Father in Heaven is subtly trying to tell us that He is not alone. Perhaps Elohim is a name that signifies the Entity that is our Heavenly Father united with our Heavenly Mother. Only together are they a complete God—male and female—and it will be the same in eternity for all who attain exaltation.

Elder Erastus Snow elaborated on the necessity of both male and female in Deity: “If I believe anything that God has ever said about himself, and anything pertaining to the creation and organization of man upon the earth, I must believe that Deity consists of man and woman. . . . I sometimes illustrate this matter by taking up a pair of shears, if I have one, but then you all know they are composed of two halves, but they are necessarily parts, one of another, and to perform their work for each other, as designed, they belong together, and neither one of them is fitted for the accomplishment of their works alone. And for this reason says St. Paul, “the man is not without the woman, nor the woman without the man in the Lord.” In other words, there can be no God except he is composed of the man and woman united, and there is not in all the eternities that exist, nor ever will be, a God in any other way. I have another description: There never was a God, and there never will be in all eternities, except they are made of these two component parts; a man and a woman; the male and the female.”[xix]

Paul’s seminal statement on marriage, “Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11), is true both in earth life and in exaltation. Only in the union of the two sexes can be found the best family environment on earth and the only exalted family arrangement in heaven. President Nelson said, “No man in this Church can obtain the highest degree of celestial glory without a worthy woman who is sealed to him. This temple ordinance enables eventual exaltation for both of them  In God’s eternal plan, salvation is an individual matter; exaltation is a family matter.”[xx]

The divine role of women alongside men is critical in our beliefs. Our doctrine takes the sectarian view of Mother Eve and flips it on its head. Other traditions denigrate all women because Eve was the first to transgress a commandment from God, but we see her differently. Although we acknowledge that Eve was beguiled and thus needed a Savior, we also see her as a wise woman who came to recognize a greater purpose in her choice to partake of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. She realized that this was the only way to learn the attributes of godhood and to fulfill the first commandment of God to multiply and replenish the earth (see Moses 5:11). We honor her for her choice, which opened the door for the rest of us to come to earth, making her the mother of all living. She was a full partner with Adam, combining her unique characteristics with his, strengthening them together as one united whole. It will be the same for all exalted couples in the celestial kingdom where male and female couples will live forever, united as one.

To be continued…

Valiant K. Jones is the author of The Heart of Our Covenants: Temple Principles that Draw Us unto Christ. For more information, see www.valiantjones.com or www.cedarfort.com.

 

[i] Jeffrey R. Holland, “The Second Half of the Second Century of Brigham Young University,” ibid.

[ii] History of the Church, 4:556, footnote 7; emphasis added.

[iii] Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Lorenzo Snow (2012), 130.

[iv] Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith (2011), 129.

[v] Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph F. Smith (2011), 129.

[vi] Think of several nets layered on top of one another, with connections in both vertical and horizontal directions.

[vii] “Africanized Honey Bees on the Move Lesson Plans | Information Sheet: 9 Parts of Flowers,” The University of Arizona, accessed July 11, 2022, https:// cales.arizona.edu/pubs/insects/ahb/inf9.html.

[viii] Milton R. Hunter, in Conference Report, Apr. 1949, 71.

[ix] Bruce R. McConkie, The Millennial Messiah: The Second Coming of the Son of Man (Deseret Book, 1982), 264.

[x] Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young (1997), 89.

[xi] John Taylor, The Gospel Kingdom: Selections from the Writings and Discourses of John Taylor, Third President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, ed. G. Homer Durham (Deseret Book, 2002), 229–230.

[xii] Joseph Fielding Smith, Answers to Gospel Questions, 4:61.

[xiii] Russell M. Nelson, “A Plea to My Sisters,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2015, 96.

[xiv] Bruce D. Porter, “Defending the Family in a Troubled World,” Ensign, June 2011, 13.

[xv] Henry B. Eyring , “Transcript: President Eyring Addresses the Vatican Summit on Marriage” (given Nov. 18, 2014), newsroom.ChurchofJesusChrist.org.

[xvi] David A. Bednar, “Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal Plan,” Ensign, June 2006, 83–85.

[xvii] See FAIR – Faithful Answers, “The Mother in Heaven and Her Children – Margaret Barker – 2015 Fair Mormon Conference,” YouTube, Sept. 3, 2017, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilF9NXEl6Xs&t=2860s; The Stick of Joseph, “Margaret Barker | Solomon’s Temple, Isaiah, and The Divine Feminine,” YouTube, Aug. 18, 2024, https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=44ruz-_KjAM&t=3434s.

[xviii] D. Todd Christofferson, “Why Marriage, Why Family,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2015, 52.

[xix] Erastus Snow, in Journal of Discourses, 19:269–70.

[xx] Russell M. Nelson, “Salvation and Exaltation,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2008, 9–10.