When I Thought the Church Had Failed Me
FEATURES
- What the sides told the Utah Supreme Court during oral arguments over the Heber Valley Utah Temple by Deseret News
- If I Were the Devil, and My Goal Were to Destroy the Rising Generation, Here’s What I’d Do by Maurine Proctor
- 12 Ways to Help Our Children be Resilient in a High-Pressure World by Maurine Proctor
- More Than Goliath: The Unexpected Depth of Angel Studios’ New David by Mariah Proctor
- Podcast: Why We Had to Have a Family Proclamation by Scot and Maurine Proctor
- Our Favorite Christmas Commercials by Meridian Magazine
- You and We Chapter 6: Intersecting into Being by Jim Ferrell
- Your Hardest Family Question: Is there hope for me to have an eternal family? by Geoff Steurer, MS, LMFT
- From Avoiding Conflict to Transforming It: Peacemaking in Action by Michaela Proctor Hutchins
- The Strongest Pro-life Statement Ever Made by a U.S. Administration: Abortion Is a Violation of Human Rights by Cristina Cevallos Calle
















Comments | Return to Story
Corey D.August 28, 2022
This is one of the best, most insightful and I would say inspired articles I have ever read in church related literature. Every member especially the youth and young adults should read this. A lot of people I know who no longer go to church should read this. The author has learned something so very few have learned or realize. God bless you for your heartfelt thoughts, feelings and testimony.
JulieAugust 28, 2022
Such a timely and relevant reminder to claim ownership of our spirituality, and to reject the temptations of victimhood and blame. Made me look forward to General Conference, where we’ll be reminded AGAIN to turn to Jesus.
Phoebe HallAugust 28, 2022
This sister’s perspective is beautiful and so true. The Church and its wonderfully flawed members have been the vehicle for me to know Christ and how the Atonement and covenants work in my daily life. While turmoil and heartbreak surrounds me, I have found peace and comfort in my relationship with God. He is the only one who truly knows what I am going through and how to comfort me.
KathyAugust 27, 2022
Thank you for your insights! This is wonderful to remember.
MaryannAugust 26, 2022
WOW! I wish everyone could read this. Have you considered submitting it to the Liahona church magazine? When we say "the church let me down" we are usually really saying that an individual let us down. As you pointed out, members of the church are often not trained to deal perfectly with every one of our problems. Often we ask for help from "the church" when we need to turn to the Savior first. Trusted family members or friends can also be resources for us. There are certainly times when we need to counsel with our Bishop, but we should not expect him to perfectly "solve" all our problems. As far as children and our youth are concerned, this article is a reminder that we should be observant regarding their moods, behavior and needs. We need to keep our eyes open and report any abuse to the proper authorities.
Jo Ann McVey OkelberryAugust 26, 2022
Everyone should read this. I have had sorrow for not understanding someone's problem, but I did pray and encourage and support others.
Ann-Marie JensenAugust 26, 2022
Excellent! Thank you for clarifying the purpose of the Church.We all know too many lovely Saints who have left, disillusioned because their expectations were not met.
HalAugust 26, 2022
Thank you for your wonderful insight. I, too, have felt let down when following the counsel of leaders did not have the desired effect in my life. I was promised things like "if you read scriptures and have family prayer daily, your children will never go astray and your marriage will never end in divorce." Despite faithfully following that counsel, my first marriage ended in divorce and only one of my four children has embraced the gospel (to date). Still, the gospel of Jesus Christ continued to bless my life in other ways - most of which were completely unanticipated. While mortals often fail us, the Lord never will. I have seen His love manifest in my life over and over again.
John SowaAugust 26, 2022
Thank you for your perspective.
JJAugust 26, 2022
I completely agree with the article. Its not the church's job to solve all our problems. In my twenties I was struggling with a number of overwhelming trials, and my mom kept urging me to go talk to the bishop about it. Over the years I talked with three different bishops and all of them were completely and totally unhelpful. One in particular seemed really burnt out and like he couldn't care less. Later, after reflecting on this, I realized it had been silly for me to expect these men to be able to help me. They had absolutely zero training and experience with the trials I was struggling with. As for the bishop with a negative attitude, I can't blame him. Imagine being a bishop and having everyone in the ward coming to you, expecting you to magically have all the answers! Since then I have never gone to the bishop for anything, instead I seek out people who are actually qualified and able to help. I go directly to Heavenly Father when it comes to spiritual matters, and I have been much better off for it.
Harold RustAugust 26, 2022
This article is a very uplifting and positive reminder of the fundamental sources we should rely on while working our way through challenges and experiences requiring decisions and actions on our part. Thanks for the lift.
Kate MerrillAugust 26, 2022
Incredibly well said as too often the purpose and expectations of the church are erroneously believed to be our refuge, our fail-safe from all troubles, our answers to all questions. As an adult convert, I started my spiritual awakening and search by reaching out to a God I was not sure existed. When His loving kindness brought me relief, light, and answers I realized this new source of direct and personal guidance, correction, and care needed forever nurturing. The church is my school, my hospital, and my access to Priesthood powers to guide me home. Heavenly Father, His Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are the counselors, Savior, and conscious needed to make that happen.
PennieAugust 26, 2022
Amen Sister
JOHNAugust 26, 2022
As a person who has served in multiple callings which required me to meet and counsel people, I am sure I "let them down" on occasion. There were times when I didn't feel the Spirit as I should have even though I had prayed and sought counsel prior to the encounter. I often felt inadequate to address the issues at hand and that was always a difficult time for me. I appreciate this perspective because even though it is not what people want to hear, or what I expected of myself in those situations, it is the reality of life. I am a fallen person and frequently didn't have the answers someone was seeking. I am also very thankful that for the most part, those whom I talked with recognized my fallibility and lack of expertise, took what advice I had to give, and then approached the Lord for the best guidance. I believe that we all let each other down on occasion, but like some many things in this life, it encourages us to seek answers and grow.
RD CarpenterAugust 26, 2022
Excellent article. Very wise and insightful. For someone who writes about not having received the counsel she needed, she gives great counsel here that we all need!.
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