The Guilt Quilt A Guilt Quilt? I was intrigued when Kaye, a dear lifelong friend, called just before Christmas to say she had made one for me and would be bringing it by. I had never heard of such a thing as a “guilt quilt” and wondered what it was and why I was getting one. I had phoned Kaye early in September to tell her I had a surgical date at the hospital in two weeks to have both of my knees replaced. She had undergone similar surgery several years ago, and I was interested in her experience and whatever tips she could pass on. As close friends, we’ve always kept each other apprised of major events in our lives and I knew I could count on a phone call or visit from her during my recovery. Well, my surgery and recovery came and went and there was no word from Kaye. Wondering if she or someone in her family were ill, or if there were problems of some sort, I phoned her a month later to see if everything was okay at her house. Happily, it was. She had just completely forgotten about my surgery. I laughed, but she was devastated to have “let me down,” as she put it. Hence the guilt quilt. It is in the form of a table runner, thoughtfully made up in the colors of our dining room, and expertly and artfully designed and put together. It’s beautiful, a lovely item for our home. It’s also a special reminder of a caring friend. Furthermore, it has given me cause to reflect on the value of apologies. I go along with the saying attributed to Alexander Pope, “To err is human, to apologize is divine.” Apologies between husbands and wives, to children, to family members, and to friends and others can save a relationship. After all, life is all about forming relationships and learning how to preserve them. Elder Russell M. Nelson, a former stake president and now a member of the Quorum of the Twelve, once counseled in a talk on marriage that in the case of conflict, the nicest one will apologize first. Sometimes an apology is in order to a child. Then you can hug and start over. Besides being a mutually endearing gesture, an apology and a hug teaches the child that someone as big and important as a parent can be honest and humble enough to admit a mistake and apologize. Such an act provides a powerful example that can serve the child well for a lifetime. Overdue apologies can be acceptable. It’s better late than never, in most situations. This is something to seriously consider as we face a fresh start in the new year. As I think back on my life, I ponder occasions when I extended an apology. Not only did it help to heal wounds I had inflicted on others, but it was also a liberating gesture for me. It was a win/win situation for everyone. Not all apologies are as charming as a guilt quilt, but all sincere apologies count. A simple, “I’m sorry,” might be all that is necessary to make amends. It’s been stated, “An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything.” (Lynn Johnston) When called for, an apology is a small price to pay toward keeping a healthy, happy relationship with loved ones, cherished friends, and other people who matter in your life.
No Comments | Post or read comments FEATURES | ||
May 18, 2026
May 18, 2026
