While gathering with the youth in our Spanish-speaking ward on the worldwide day of testimony, my husband, Bret, who is serving as a bishop, taught the youth a very encouraging truth.  Many times youth think they don’t have a testimony unless they can declare with assurance: “I know the church is true.”  In fact, Bret taught, there are three types of testimony and each type is important.  We could say that the three types of testimony are each “levels” of assurance, beginning with a nascent assurance, and progressing to a full-fledged conviction.

Desire

The first type of testimony is desire, or hope, as in “I sure hope the church is true, ‘cause I’m spending a lot of time in church meetings.”  Just because the young person with hope doesn’t have knowledge doesn’t mean he lacks a testimony.  His testimony is small.  It will grow.  His testimony may be a seed, but it can grow.  He only needs to continue nurturing that seed.  Youth need to feel empowered when their testimony is at this nascent level.  They need to feel they are on their way to great things, and not feel discouraged because they haven’t yet arrived.  If they fail to recognize the power of a nascent testimony, they may give up their pursuit of a full-fledged unshakable testimony, not recognizing that, indeed, they do have a testimony.

Belief

A young person who hopes the restored gospel is true can build on that desire through learning more about the gospel, studying the scriptures, attending seminary, listening to prophets speak.  As he grows in understanding he will have that “Ah, ha” experience where things begin to make sense.  The gospel will ring true.  The Book of Mormon will seem a brilliant document.   He will have an intellectual testimony.  He will see that living the restored gospel leads to happiness.  He will acknowledge the evidence of God’s love that he finds in the scriptures.  This is the second level of testimony.

The Role of Choice

The encouraging thing about a “level-one” or a “level-two” testimony is that it is totally within our power to gain this type of a testimony.  When we sit down in front of the television on Saturday afternoon to watch football, we choose what team we cheer for.  We aren’t forced to cheer for the red or the green or the blue or the black.  We get to choose our team.  Then we cheer for the team we have chosen.  We hope our team scores, we want our team to win.  That same choice is available for youth who want the gospel to be true.  They have the freedom to choose the world.  However, their choice to attend church, or attend seminary proves they have a desire for the restored gospel to be true.  They have a testimony!

The same freedom exists for youth pursuing a level-two testimony.  They have the ability to gain understanding.  They can take the opportunity to study.  Understanding comes from reading, asking questions, making sense of what you are learning.  Youth who are studying a concept in school may have that experience of rejoicing when they finally “get it.”  Discovering how to solve proofs in geometry, or learning how to conjugate a verb in a foreign language can be immensely satisfying.  The feeling that the gospel makes sense is the type of testimony we can gain through our own efforts.

Touched by the Spirit

The type of a testimony we can’t control is the type where the spirit touches our heart and we receive a firm conviction, through the Holy Ghost, that a principle of the gospel is true.  We definitely have the ability to control whether or not we are worthy to receive such personal revelation.  Naturally, we want to repent daily, and stand in holy places.  We can choose humility and cling to our hopes and beliefs.  However, we can’t manipulate the spirit.  Although we can say “At 6:00 tomorrow morning I am going to read the scriptures,” we can’t say “At 6:00 am tomorrow morning I’m going to feel the spirit.”  The spirit touches our heart when the spirit decides to touch our heart.  This may happen when we least expect it.

I have often been surprised, shocked even, when the Holy Ghost manifested a truth to my soul.  One year, our family drove to Arizona to hike through the Grand Canyon.  We arrived in the afternoon after a very long drive.  Bret stopped at a look-out point and invited me to get out of the car and take in the view.  I was exhausted and wanted to stay in the car.  We were going to spend the next two days in the canyon, I would see it soon enough.  However, Bret persuaded me to get out of the car and look.  I dragged myself across the parking lot to the railing overlooking the vast chasm of stratified rock and my heart leapt in my chest.  Suddenly, I was filled with energy as I inhaled the breath-taking sight.  I am not a crier by any means, but tears filled my eyes and I began to sob, overwhelmed at the grandeur of God, his immense love for us, and his ability to create such an incredible place for us to live.  Through the power of The Holy Ghost I knew, not believed, but knew that God loved me.

Bret and I were alone in the mission home watching General Conference in 2018 when members of the Church were invited to participate in a solemn assembly.  We were all invited, in turn, to stand up and raise our hand to sustain the new prophet, Russell M. Nelson.  Since my husband and I were alone, I thought it was pretty silly to stand up all by myself in front of the computer and raise my hand.  However, Bret had stood when holders of Melchizedek priesthood were invited to sustain the new prophet, so I figured I would follow his example and stand with Relief Society sisters around the world whom I could not see.  As I raised my hand, I received an overwhelming manifestation from the spirit that this man was, indeed called of God in the Latter-days.  I felt as if warm oil was being poured over my head and was draping my entire body as it gradually flowed through each cell all the way down to my toes.  I had believed that Russell M. Nelson was the Lord’s choice to lead the church, but after this experience I knew.  I had a testimony born of the spirit.

A testimony born of the spirit requires patience.  It requires the faith that if we put ourselves in places where the spirit can dwell, and if we cleanse ourselves each week through taking the Sacrament, then we will be in a position to feel the spirit.  Preparing to feel the spirit is like recovering from a surgery.  We make sure the body is free of infection, that the bones and organs are in the right place, then we rest and wait.  We put ourselves in a position to be healed, but the healing itself is a gift from God.  We can’t force it.  Growing a testimony requires patience too.  We do what we can do, we hope, we believe, and when the Spirit wants to, it touches our heart.