I grew up in the middle of nowhere. We were the last house on the road with miles of open country between us and juniper-covered hills far to the north. I usually had a lot of work to do, but when I had some free time, I loved to ride my horse across the sagebrush-covered rangeland.

Then for a time, I lived in some of the bigger cities in New York. It was a huge culture shock for me. But after a while, I got used to the fast pace of city living. When I returned home, some of the things about the simpler lifestyle of rural living made me smile. One thing I realized I had missed was our small-town newspaper. It contained news like police reports, which I never saw in a paper in New York, probably because they would take up the whole paper. But it wasn’t just the fact that the paper had room to carry the reports, but what was in them that was different from life in the big cities.

The local paper doesn’t carry police reports anymore, but before they quit, I had made quite a collection of ones I found to be humorous or different compared to my life in big cities. I thought I’d share a few here.

  1. False fire alarm at student apartments. Students said they burnt their dinner so bad it was nothing but charcoal, and it set off the fire alarm.
  2. Complaint of an intruder. Complainant realized she was on new medication and it was just a bad dream.
  3. Complaint that an ATM machine kept complainant’s credit card. Subject wanted the officer to open the machine and retrieve credit card. Subject was shocked to find out the officer didn’t have a key to it.
  4. Suspect caught on video stealing sock from dryer at laundromat. The suspect didn’t feel it was really stealing since the dryer had stolen one of hers on the previous visit.
  5. Verbal dispute. Subject came to another’s business office to educate him on the proper way to do business. Business owner didn’t appreciate the help, and words were exchanged about who was the best business person.
  6. Vehicle damage complaint. Claim the touchless car wash scratched vehicle and felt that calling it touchless was false advertising.
  7. Snoring/Wall knocking complaint at apartment complex
  8. Complaint of mail being stolen. After search, mail was found under roommate’s mattress.
  9. Medical assistance. Person accidentally had can of raid turned wrong way and sprayed self when trying to spray bugs.
  10. Disturbance. Complaint of subject shopping at Walmart with a hysterical three-year-old girl. Twenty-six-year-old male asked employee to watch the screaming girl for him while he shopped. Subject said he was joking to lighten the mood.
  11. Complaint of a vehicle being booted wrongfully.
  12. Theft of a vehicle boot.
  13. Numerous complaints of loud music and loud groups
  14. Snoring neighbor complaint
  15. Theft. Roommate stole a postal letter which had $100 check in it.
  16. Complaints of horses on the road
  17. Fire in apartment kitchen that kicked on the sprinkler. Smoke and water damage.
  18. Police responded to a call that cardboard cut-outs of cats were being placed in the roadway, causing people to swerve. There was concern for a possible accident.