Merrill hadn’t been back to the army camp long before everyone was summoned to line up for roll call. He had just been heading to the restroom when the call came, but he rushed to his place in line, hoping roll call would be quick.
But quick was not what the commander had in mind. They had just finished basic training the week before and had been given a day of leave. It wasn’t enough time to go home, but everyone could go to town and enjoy some things they had missed. But now that they were back, having just returned, few looked sharp and ready for inspection.
“Soldier,” the commander said to the first man in the line, “have you ever considered ironing your uniform? You look like you wadded it up and stuck it in a drawer. Is that how we treat what we wear?”
“No, sir,” the man said.
The commander scolded him some more, then moved to the next man. “How long has it been since you took a shower?” the commander asked. “You look like you spent your leave in a mudhole.”
The commander continued to find something wrong with everyone. Finally, Merrill could wait no longer. He hated to draw attention to himself, but he raised his hand. The commander moved in front of him.
“Is there something you need, soldier?” the commander asked.
“Permission to use the restroom,” Merrill said.
“Why didn’t you use it when you returned to camp?” the commander asked.
“I did, sir.” Merrill said.
“You did, and you need to go again?”
“Yes, sir,” Merrill replied.
“Something you ate?” the commander asked.
“Likely, sir,” Merrill replied.
“Well, you go,” the commander said. “Then, when you return, you can tell everyone all about it.”
Merrill knew the commander meant to make it an embarrassing moment, but he was just glad to have permission. He hurriedly used the restroom, then returned to his place in line.
The commander immediately came and stood in front of him. “Now, soldier, why don’t you tell everyone about your little tummy problems?”
“Yes, sir,” Merrill replied. “I am not used to this California heat, so when we went on leave, the only thing I could think of was getting something cool to drink. But instead, I came across a watermelon stand. I had just enough money to buy the biggest, ripest watermelon I could find.”
“And you ate it all?” the commander said, barely able to hold the grin from his face.
“Yes, sir, but that’s not all,” Merrill said.
“Do tell,” the commander said with a smirk.
“The owner of the stand asked me if I liked it. I told him it was wonderful. I said that if I had any more money, I would buy another one. He told me his son was fighting in the Battle of the Bulge in Europe. He said he wished he could send a watermelon to him. Then he said that since he couldn’t, he was going to give me a free watermelon in honor of his son.”
“Don’t tell me,” the commander said. “You ate it, too?”
“Yes, sir,” Merrill replied.
The commander grinned. “Well, for enjoying yourself so much and having to drop out of line, you get to run a mile after roll call.”
“Yes, sir,” Merrill said.
Roll call continued, and by the time there were still about a quarter of the men for the commander to berate, Merrill was in desperate need again. Once more, he raised his hand.
The commander came to face him. “Don’t tell me. You need to use the restroom again?”
“Yes, sir,” Merrill said.
“Do you know what this means?” the commander asked.
“Another mile?” Merrill asked.
“That’s right,” the commander said. “One for each watermelon.”
After roll call was over and Merrill had run his two miles, he joined the other men at the barracks. When he walked in, the others all stood and clapped.
“That is the first time we’ve seen the commander unable to hold back his grin,” one of them said.
