A couple of months ago, I saw a Facebook post where a mid-single person commented, “We are just the leftovers. Get used to it.” I’ve pondered that characterization a lot since then. Is it true? Are mid-singles just the leftovers nobody else wanted? I have also sometimes heard people refer to the mid-singles community as an “Island of Misfit Toys.” How about that expression? Is it useful or descriptive?
You are generally what you choose to see yourself as; for as a person, “thinketh in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7). I see myself as a person who controls his temper and doesn’t get angry. As a result, I rarely lose it. I haven’t lost control of myself since I was 19 years old. I am still working on eliminating the triggers that cause me to feel angry on the inside. But I have come a long way in my ability to feel inner peace. The way you choose to see and understand yourself has a lot to do with who you are becoming.
If you see yourselves as the leftovers, you do injustice to the God who created you in His own image and likeness. (This applies equally to women (Genesis 1:26-27).) If you have received your endowment, God has anointed you to become a king or queen (see also Revelation 1:6, 5:10). If you are not yet endowed, that blessing is awaiting you. This anointing means that you have been given the power to rise from the status of a mere mortal to the glory of an eternal king or queen, and to preside over numberless dominions of all heights and depths (D&C 132:19-20). That is what you were born to be.
My aim in this article is to remind you of who you are and what you have the power to become. That is why Cathy and I started Love in Later Years (LILY) and wrote Intentional Courtship. We are not just here to nurse some wounds and help a few people get married. We are here to help create kings and queens, filled with infinite love, power, and glory.
The atonement of Jesus Christ is all about second chances. It is about putting the past behind us and reaching for a future that is glorious beyond all description. It is about redemption. If we do not believe that we do not believe in the gospel.
Most mid-singles have suffered relationship loss, loneliness, fear, shame, and other trials. The Great Apostle Paul wrote, ”I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us” (Romans 8:18). In this verse, Paul does not say God will create glory in us. He says God will reveal the glory that is already there because we are His heirs. What is that glory? It is the divine heritage that dwells in your very being because you are a child of God—and the potential you have to become like him. The fact that you may have suffered or are suffering now does not change this. Your suffering will reveal who you really are if you let it.
You are not leftovers. You are resilient survivors who have been tested by the refiner’s fire. You have forged character and courage and strength beyond what most mortals could endure. You are among the elect of God, and you are future kings and queens.
Never let anyone tell you that you are the leftovers, or that you are less worthy of divine blessings or fellowship with the Saints because of your single status. You may be at a different place than some of us; but you are moving in the direction of a crown of eternal glory. I believe most of you will taste a portion of this glory while you are still on this Earth.
My wife, Cathy, is not merely the “leftovers” I could manage to scrape up like crumbs from the kitchen floor of life. She is my queen. It is the great privilege of my life to be loved by her. The fact that we both had a life before each other only means that God prepared us for each other in a unique way. I pray that you can see the potential glory that may be revealed in yourselves.
About the Author
Jeff Teichert and his wife Cathy Butler Teichert are the founders of “Love in Later Years,” which ministers to Latter-day Saint mid-singles seeking peace, healing, and more joyful relationships; and the authors of the Amazon bestseller Intentional Courtship: A Mid-Singles Guide to Peace, Progress and Pairing Up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Jeff and Cathy each spent nearly a decade in the mid-singles community and draw on this experience to provide counsel and hope to mid-singles and later married couples. Jeff and Cathy are both certified life coaches and have university degrees in Family Science. They are the parents of a blended family that includes four handsome sons and one lovely daughter-in-law.
Purchase Jeff & Cathy’s book at: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09KMXXJN7?ref_=pe_3052080_276849420
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