Knowing that only Christ was ever perfect, each of us knows we fall short. We strive to develop virtues, and cringe at our thoughts and actions we wish showed higher standards.

Our leaders offer comfort to those who feel despair and hopelessness in this quest to be more like the Savior. I think we all liked Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s General Conference talk, Lord, I Believe, when he said, “Except in the case of his only perfect Begotten Son, imperfect people are all God has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to Him but He deals with it. So should we. And when you see imperfection, remember that the limitation is not in the divinity of the work.”

It was a wonderful reminder not to judge one another against an impossible bar; we’re all imperfect beings, struggling home. As President Russell M. Nelson said, “Be patient with yourself. Perfection comes not in this life, but in the next life. Don’t demand things that are unreasonable, but demand of yourself improvement. As you let the Lord help you through that, He will make the difference.”

Let’s look at Ether 12: 27: “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”

There is an important distinction here. God doesn’t give us weaknesses, plural. He gives us weakness. And it manifests itself in our varying weaknesses.

Too often we feel we just can’t overcome the various defects we have. Maybe I’m not the forgiving type. Maybe I’ll never be good at studying scriptures. Maybe a hot temper just runs in my family. Maybe I’ll never get organized. Maybe I should be content with what I am now. We have a tendency to think we were given these specific failings.

The adversary jumps into the fray with reminders that the entire world “does it,” whatever “it” is. He urges us to forget working on tough challenges, just to indulge and think of ourselves, our carnal desires, our social status, materialism.

Obedience, repentance, generosity, sacrifice, faith —these are just too hard, says the Father of All Lies. Set a better goal, like getting 20 likes on your Instagram post.

So why does life have to be so hard? Why are there challenges in life, and tough lessons to learn?  President Dallin H. Oaks has said, “Opposition permits us to grow toward what our Heavenly Father would have us become.” If we humble ourselves, hardships are actually tools to refine us, to teach us how to live in Heaven. Through trials, we develop essential traits we can’t grasp in any other way. But the key to navigating setbacks—or tough weaknesses in our personalities– is to turn to our Father in Heaven.

My friend gave a great example, which I’ll share with his permission. All his life he wanted to be a great teacher and a strong speaker. Good teachers had such an impact on him that he wanted others to feel that.

But as a Primary kid, and even in his teens, he was a dismal failure. Every time he got to the microphone he’d freeze and choke. It was humiliating. He was fine talking with friends or a small group. But a crowd? No way.

So he began studying. He read books about it. He listened to great speakers. He took speech classes in college. For five years he kept trying to overcome his fear. But more than anything else, he prayed and begged for God to help him be able to speak in public. These efforts and prayers are what God meant when He said, If men come unto me.

And then, one day my friend was in his dorm as an EFY counselor, preparing to share something with his group of boys, and praying to be a better teacher when he suddenly felt the incredible peace that comes from the Spirit.  It surprised him that it wasn’t some gift to teach better, but an absence of fear. God had seen his struggle, his constant effort, and his faith that it could happen. My friend finally knew he could stand in front of people and share what was in his heart without losing his way. The gift was that his fear was taken away. It was gone.

I might add, that this is the man I saw teaching a Gospel Doctrine class years later, when we first moved to this area. I decided then and there I wanted to be in the ward of a man who could teach like that.  He was more than exceptional; he is one of those rare, gifted teachers you’re lucky to meet even once in a lifetime.

This is what can happen when we enact the grace of God mentioned in Ether 12:27. As Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf once said, “God will help you become something greater than you ever thought possible.”

I’ve encountered other such miraculous turnarounds. I know a woman who begged God to help her stop lying, and she was changed just as dramatically, into someone who simply cannot lie. This has happened with people addicted to pornography, people trying to manage their anger, people with all kinds of native problems they want to eradicate.

The key is to do all you can, and enlist God’s help. It takes tremendous courage, humility, and faith. It can also take time. But God has promised that he will not only remove the weakness, he will turn it into a strength. A former smoker becomes an ardent advocate of non-smoking. A repentant thief gives lectures about how to thwart burglars. People become champions of their cause, trying to prevent others from falling into Satan’s snares. They become even stronger than they were praying to become.

And isn’t that God’s loving way? Invariably, when we sincerely ask Him for something right, He grants us all we requested and more. I picture our loving Heavenly Father delighting in this additional surprise, and I’ve experienced it myself—stunned to pray for something small, and amazed to see the scope of His enormous answer.

God wants us to conquer our weakness, to turn to him with full faith and love, wanting desperately to be more like our Savior. Yes, it is true that none of us will leave this life having become perfect. But, with His help, we can inch in that direction, as we work to come unto Him, and eliminate so many of the habits and behaviors that now block an otherwise joyful life. He really does give us some of His infinite grace.

It’s the same with our hope to live in the Celestial Kingdom. If we press forward on the covenant path, we can absolutely make it. Let us not lack faith in His grace. He really can and does help those who “come unto Him.”

Hilton teaches Seminary. She is also an award-winning playwright, and the author of many best-selling Latter-day Saint books. Those, her humor blog, and YouTube Mom videos can be found on her website.